Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

This is for those of you who have opted out of religion altogether. No church, no God, etc. What have you discovered about life without any sort of faith?

I'm a relatively new atheist. It has been one interesting discovery after the other. One of the biggest discoveries I've made is that I'm much more attuned to concepts of morality now that I've taken God out of the equation. I'm enjoying directing my own life. I don't miss religion.

I had a long post typed out and it disappeared. I've been an atheist in my head for about a year. Only my husband knows and he is not happy about it. I don't miss the concepts of heaven, hell , God and demons at all. My morality didn't change, and I enjoy learning about new ways to think of the only life I'm guaranteed to have. I feel like I've found myself and for the first time I like who I am. No worries, except for how to live in a religious atmosphere which I cannot escape for the present.

I have a greater appreciation for moral and ethical conduct and a genuine concern for others now that I understand and believe that such attitudes are innate in any decent human being and not imparted from an imaginary being -- nor adhered to because of a fear of hell rather than a desire to "do the right thing." I feel totally liberated from superstition, wishing (praying) rather than acting on my own, arbitrary and often foolish rules and rituals. Most of all, I feel liberated from a requirement to feel dirty, "sinful," unworthy in some way, not because of anything I have ever done to feel so, but because I had been made to feel that that is how everyone should feel, every day and in every way. I see no need to look for "meaning" in everything that happens, only to deal with life as it comes in the best way I can. More reliance on my ability to reason, to think things out, to act confidently, to be self-reliant. Overall, I have a much better attitude about myself, life in general, my wife and marriage. For me, atheism makes sense and makes for a happier and better world.

Mostly, I just focus on enjoying myself -- working, reading, watching TV, getting on the interwebs, publishing my silly pictures and stories on Deviant Art, etc.

It has surprised me how my empathy for others has increased since removing religion from my life. I don't have a god to pawn people off on anymore. I can't just say "I'll pray for you."

That has been a difficult one, by the way. I am constantly inundated with "please pray for so-and-so," in my family life and on Facebook. I simply do not know yet how to respond to that. I don't want to say that I will pray for them, because I won't, as I believe it is a useless and, frankly, stupid gesture. ("Yes, of course, I will be happy to close my eyes and talk to myself for a few minutes so that you will be miraculously healed!" *proceeds to do a mental Care Bear Stare*) But then, saying "you're in my thoughts" is also equally awkward. ("Oh, you engaged your synapses for a moment regarding your memories of me? Gee, thanks. Cancer's still here, though.") So I find myself just giving well wishes. It's worthless...but then again, so are the others, and it does let the other person know you at least give a partial shit.

I find myself more content to live and let live, though it is hard sometimes to put up with the constant barrage of religious rhetoric and right-wing nausea.

While I no longer have any very strong convictions about the specifics of Christianity, I don't discount the notion of God (at least not yet ). At the same time, I understand your hesitation about those you know from the old days asking for prayer or other divine intervention, and not having the assurance to say you'll pray for them. Awkward position, I know. Anymore, I tend to fall into the camp that asserts prayer may be good for you as a psychological process, may speed your healing even, comfort you and those around you, etc., but is of little or no accord. I don't buy into God blessing me or cursing me, or anyone else.

I was raised in the CoC and left in 2008. I've been an atheist for years now and so is my husband. Not believing has really taken the pressure off in so many ways. I feel more at peace with myself and my personal decisions than ever. I'm not afraid to take credit for good things that happen as a result of my hard work. I think morality, kindness and empathy mean more when a person isn't bullied or manipulated into it. Really, I'd just rather have a lazy Sunday morning at home with hubs and pancakes. I hope that all who are in the process of leaving or who have left, no matter what they choose to believe/not believe in next, will find the level of inner peace that I have found.

That inner peace you mentioned... it's so true. It is so nice not to be worried about being good enough. I actually think that's one of the dangers of religion: you try to be "good enough," but because you're human you inevitably fail, and a lot of people just say "hell with it" and actually decide to just be bad and get their money's worth. I know that I went through that, and there were a lot of self-destructive behaviors that I engaged in because I was just so sick of failing!

At least now I can accept who I am as a person, know where I need to improve on myself, and work there on my own time-table.

I find myself a whole lot less angry. My wife has commented on that many times, because I don't lose my temper nearly as often as I used to. In fact, I hardly ever do at all. The COC always said that the only way to have a successful marriage is with God at the center, but ever since I served him his walking papers, my marriage has been off the chart, SO much better.

GuitarHero wrote:That inner peace you mentioned... it's so true.

You mentioned morality, concern for others, less anger all are true.
The problem is when you add condemation and judging into the equation as is common in the CoC. There are so many places.
The one drink drunk that Agri mentioned. Never happened to me.
The one dance then sexual activities. Never happened to me.
Dating those outside the church. I did this a bunch and enjoyed it.
Not coming to services means you are lost in sin.
Mixed swimming. I did this often with no ill effect.
There were too many rules. Then comes judgement on how well you did.
The rules simply don't apply. Neither are they true. Its good to be away from that.
The church is that way not God. Man got his ideas into the equation and said it was God.
I told a friend that people make God in their image. He agreed.

I'm in the done group of people on church. I do believe in God but don't believe that was why I left. I was tired of the constant judgement of people in church. I don't think I'm agnostic, or atheist, but would express that those of you who are have the right to choose a path just like I have. I was really conflicted about leaving until I figured life is here to be lived and a coc membership sucked that right out of me. I had no qualms about shedding the oppressiveness found in the coc. Will I ever go back? Probably not...being raised in the church I'm really conservative in my introverted self however I feel no guilt from that as well all things in moderation I do know that I've had great conversations with people I know who think that a person is remembered chiefly by the way they make others feel....respect is utmost for those who accept you for who you are and vice versa...