Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I know that many of us have been sexually harassed in the workplace through the years. What I can't imagine is dredging all that back up now
after, say, 30 - 40 years, and going public with it. However, let me say I certainly don't stand in judgment of anyone who has come forward recently;
everyone has their own situation.

It was rampant especially back during the 70s. And before that....think "Mad Men". While watching that show I was thinking...that's the way it was. I had rarely
even thought about it through the years until watching that show and then all of the people coming out of the woodwork with stories.

I imagine some of the past offenders may have grown up through the years, or long ago were stopped in their tracks in some defining way. Today there is lots of great
training in place in businesses and corporations, and it does seem to be helping to change workplace culture.

I agree 100% with you, Unfortunately, the pendulum tends to swing too far in the other direction when society is trying to fix a social problem. I see where a woman has now been accused of sexual harassment. I was certain that was coming. Common sense would tell ya it ain't just the men that have this problem, but admittedly it is far more men than woman that engage in this.

i think it's inevitable that the pendulum will swing so far in the other direction that men will fear even talking to a woman in the work place, because the mere accusation of harassment by a woman is sufficient to convict the guy and end his career.

Even back in the 80's I would require another officer of the company to be present anytime a discussion with a female employee was necessary. I thought that was just common sense but apparently common sense isn't all that common.

Just for the record, I think the guys accused so far are more than likely guilty. And some of the stuff that is coming out should require jail time not just lost of employment. My wife is an attractive woman so I know she encountered this stuff too, but she knew how to stop it too. I think most woman know how to handle this kind of stuff in the work place, but they shouldn't have too. Management should make that unnecessary.

Just to add a little humor to make a point. One of Seinfeld's comedy routines kind of states the problem from the male perspective. He notes that guys want to meet girls but we don't know how to go about it. That's why guys honk their horns at girls and made rude, stupid, & suggestive comments. Seinfeld says, "That it ladies, that's all we got. We have no clue how to interact with you." Funny because he's poking fun at stupid and clueless men, but there is just enough truth in it to make it funny. Not funny in real life though.

I was told over and over and over "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me". I endured a lot of bullying (at least from my perspective) Tearful times and that was always the answer, that was always the ultimate answer. That ultimately you alone had the power and that you only lose by giving the power to them to have any real effect. Not cheerful and cold comfort...but it was always about being strong enough to ignore the nasty comments of others and to show them you will not be shutdown or defeated by their negative personal attack.

This is akin to the saying "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". You alone had the power and responsibility to not let others have power or control over you...that you can endure if you are wise and strong and realize they can't really hurt you with their crap. And that how ever evil someone was...that you still had some of the blame for some of the things that happen to you if you could/should have known better. Because it was likely pride or ego that put you in that place.

"The teacher/boss may be wrong but they are still the teacher/boss" and of course "you can't fight city hall" and "pick your battles". These were all about seeing your relative position and relationship to the problem...not about justice or fairness but wisdom.

It all had to do with the notion of allowing and thinking about yourself as a victim. About how to not be made subject to emotional and manipulative sort of arguments...to not become mired in throwing good money/effort after bad so that you are a fool.

I think there was a time when people were encouraged and expected to be stronger as individuals.

And that saying "Don't ever let them know they got your goat"....you never let on that they got you mad or hurt you...never let them see a result, just keep shutting them down.

"Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see"...other people are always out to push their agenda and distort whether they know it or not. Stay logical and avoid the emotional crap.

I have no way of knowing if any of that stuff is the better way or not...just the way I was raised...always fighting and resisting.

I remember dealing with what they are now calling sexual harassment when I was 13 years old. Guys would try to get away with whatever they could. That is how guys were at the time. I handled it in the way my mother taught me, a quick knee to the family jewels or dig your nails in where no man wants them to be. I never had to do it twice. And I never thought to report these guys to anyone. I handled it and moved on.
The one time I had harassment on the job, I changed jobs and made sure the head person in the company knew why I was leaving. No further issues from that. I guess my problem was no rich and/or famous man ever tried anything with me. So I have no recourse.

The problem is, I think many innocent men will fall because of the mad rush to accuse everyone of harassment. And many innocent women will suffer as well.

One last thought: if every man who ever tried anything with any woman/girl were to be fired from their jobs for that, we would soon reach 50% unemployment.

Ivy wrote:It was rampant especially back during the 70s.
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That's what I've heard, too. Friend of mine, an older lady, said that in the 70s, her boss cornered her in the elevator, wanting to see her after work. She told him to leave her alone. He said "okay, then you're fired". And she lost her job. She said he looked like Captain Kangaroo, too. Totally gross man. She said, times have changed, not 100% but it's better than it used to be, because in the 70s nobody really talked about sexual harassment.

I remember the time I went to Dallas and a guy grabbed my butt. Whether I was gay or straight didn't matter. My butt is my butt and nobody ought be putting their hands on it unless I say its okay.