Hello new friends

[Aces]

Hi,
I left the coc back when I was 18. I flopped around like a fish out of water. I knew nothing about sexuality, or how to make friends, I was a child in many ways. All I knew was that I wanted out. The emotional baggage that I left with is still with me. I fight against it everyday. I am 62 years old.

I married right away and had 2 kids. This marriage lasted 6 years, it should have been a one night stand. I had 2 more marriages which failed, no more kids.

I went into therapy at 28. My recovery began with the discovery of one word; Hope. I realized that I could not go back to a hopeless ren. I also found out about Acceptance, a very powerful and healing word. Next I learned the meaning of Love, also a healing word. Next I experienced a word which saved my life; Joy. I had never felt these true emotions from reading the bible or while in the coc.

I have been happily married for many years now. I have children and grandchildren whom I protect from the coc.

I have a new spirituality. I am totally Pagan. There is a hot coal that still burns in the back of my mind which will not heal. That is my hatred of all things christian, the bible, and the coc.

I have a large family. All coc. Few talk with me. None of my close family will speak with me. I have never been invited to Thanksgiving at their homes, even though they have been gathering there every year. Nor have they invited my wife of 21 years, or my children. When my mother died they did not tell me. When my father died, they did not call me. When my brother died, they did not call me.

I weep for them. They have never known Love.

The junk that I was force fed as a child is a terrible scar which will not heal completely. Until yesterday I thought I was alone, until I found you all. I hope that you will accept me.

I send you all Love and Hope for your life.

[AtPeace]

Welcome! I hope you enjoy the board.

It's wonderful that you found a way to live a meaningful life.

You had your children very young (at least by today's standards), so I guess they're both now about in their 40s? How have they processed the whole "religion" thing as a result of your journey?

[Aces]

Yes, I had children very young. They are in their 40's. I treated them as I was treated by my father. I exposed them only mildly to the coc as they grew up. They think the coc is strange, which conclusion they came to on their own.

I was abusive to them. Mildly, but enough to drive them away. We are not close now. I have had to learn that the abuse from my coc family was not normal. Then I had to learn how to deal with it to stop my abusing them, which I did.

Seems that every bad thing in my life has its roots in the coc.

They are free of the coc. That is the best thing that I could do for them. And I Love them very much. I leave the light on for them.

[GMan]

Blessings on you, and of course welcome!

[agricola]

Welcome to the ex-board! You are not alone.

[bnot]

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. The church of the cold hearted has destroyed too many families.

[illuminator]

Welcome.

[Aces]

Thank you all for your kind words of welcome.

[katisha]

welcome.

[Ramblin' Jack]

Welcome Aces.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I hope you find this board to be a great resource. I know I have.