A year of healing

[gordie91]

Thanks for your story and welcome to the board.

I agree with Sean and Ivy don't go.

[Moogy]

Glad to have you here with us.

[Athena]

Don't go to the reunion.

I agree with Sean...don't go!!

Oooh. But then I would be letting fear run me off, and then the "what-if's" would be with me forever. But then again, I could go and find myself in awkward conversations, which might be regretful too. Is it too optimistic to think that my generation is, in general, more ecumenically-minded and less judgemental than the older generations?

Actually, I just wish there was a way to connect with the apostates of my class ahead of time....and know if any of them will be there.

[Ivy]

Is it too optimistic to think that my generation is, in general, more ecumenically-minded and less judgemental than the older generations?

I don't know. Are you a millennial?

[Athena]

Is it too optimistic to think that my generation is, in general, more ecumenically-minded and less judgemental than the older generations?

I don't know. Are you a millennial?

No. I'm approaching 40 Old enough to have seen friends grow up, fall away, change their tune, "eat-pray-love," or dig in deep to become part of the coC "establishment"... It's been interesting...and it seems there are quite a few who just stick with it, despite feeling deep differences, because it is the culture they know, and not worth the cost of sacrificing relationships.

[Ivy]

Is it too optimistic to think that my generation is, in general, more ecumenically-minded and less judgemental than the older generations?

I don't know. Are you a millennial?

No. I'm approaching 40 Old enough to have seen friends grow up, fall away, change their tune, "eat-pray-love," or dig in deep to become part of the coC "establishment"... It's been interesting...and it seems there are quite a few who just stick with it, despite feeling deep differences, because it is the culture they know, and not worth the cost of sacrificing relationships.

I've seen all of that in my generation....I'm a "baby boomer". I am always amazed at really bright, well educated people in their 60s - 70s who are still there. I couldn't breathe or grow in it.

[Lerk]

Hi. I'm new here. I found this forum several years ago when I was still working out my struggles within the coC. Though my family left the coC a little over a year ago, I was triggered today, which led me to back to this place again. Let me share my story.

...

As for the trigger I mentioned at the beginning: I received a notice about my upcoming college reunion. It was a coC college that I attended.
All of a sudden, I feel very anxious about going bc it was our coC origins that brought us together to that school.

So that's why I am here. I still don't know how to handle these loose ends. Thank you for listening...I am glad to have found this place.

Thanks for sharing your story! So did you go to FC? My wife and both of my sons went there, and one daughter-in-law. One son is a preacher (and questioning the hard-line NI-CoC positions like whether acapella music is really required) and the other is no longer a believer at all. He's gotten a lot of push-back because his father-in-law and brother-in-law are obsessive compulsive, but he's nowhere near alone among his peers as having either moved on to another denomination or having totally deconverted.

I'm glad to hear that you're not having a problem within your own family. The other loose ends, you can choose to leave loose. If you really enjoyed your time in college and would like to see your friends again, you could go to the reunion, I suppose. Has news of your apostasy spread far and wide, or is it mostly contained to the local church you were in? I bet a lot of your friends have left the CoC as well. Anyway, if there's no real risk of an "intervention" and you think you'd enjoy seeing old friends, go. If you're afraid it'd be really uncomfortable, don't. I don't think you'll regret staying away. The stress of thinking about it is great, especially if people are bugging you to go, but once it's over you'll probably never hear a word about it.

But from what I've seen, your generation is pretty chill. I suspect you'll have a good time.

If it was FC and you're "approaching 40," there's a good chance you know my daughter-in-law.

Keep us posted!

[Athena]

Hi, Lerk! Why yes, it was "Our Dear FC." It is a small world indeed, especially in the coC, so I would be surprised if I didn't know, or know of, your DIL. As the years have gone by, I've heard of a few classmates who have bravely left the coC fold (not heard through gossip, but rather through a couple coC-progressive friends, who maintain friendships without judgment). I've thought about reaching out,though it's an awkward thing to do virtually. It feels intrusive, I think, without the context of a face-to-face, you know? I think I'd just like to know if other apostates will be attending,so we can huddle together for moral support.

Still undecided about attending. I keep tabs on the FB group dedicated to our reunion planning and news, to get a feel for what's in store. Thank you so much for sharing...I will update as I get closer to decision time.