Hello!

[IntrepidOne]

Hi, I am IO. I was on the old board, but not very active. Found this one and was afraid I had suffered a stroke when my username and password would not work.

I grew up in a hardline CoC in rural Georgia in the 70's and early 80's. My mother went through her own father being disfellowshipped in the 60's when he divorced her mother and heard him preached straight to hell, yet she still had too much fear to leave the "one true church". My own parents married in 1970, my dad had to be baptized again because he was not baptized the right way. He was raised a Baptist. I was born soon after and my sister 5 years later. I was molested by a friend of the family and a member of the church. My parents divorced in 1985 and that was when we started forsaking the assembly . Over the years I have tried going to church off and on again, but always a CoC (just not the same one I grew up in). Finally I decided it was ok to try one of those sinful denominations! I have been going to a Presbyterian church for over 2 years now.

I am sort of bitter that I had to grow up in such a church. It has warped my understanding and really stunted me spiritually. For most of my life I have been haughty and judgmental. Feeling superior to all my friends because I had such a clear understanding of the bible, and yet sorry for them because they were all going to hell. It was just so messed up.

[Struggler]

Welcome to our world!

The C of C has stunted me spiritually and in other ways. It's all about control and conforming.

[IntrepidOne]

Thanks for the welcome.

My mother still does not go to church, but if she ever does, she only goes to a CoC. She participates every year in the a cappella chorus reunion of the CoC school she attended for half of high school. My dad died a few years ago. In May of 2014 my youngest 2 were baptized (Presbyterian style). I invited mom, and she asked me if this is what they wanted. I explained to her, that yes, they did want it because they had seen baptisms and naturally asked if they had been baptized. They were far from babies! She didn't come, which is fine. When I see how deeply the teachings of the CoC still influence her, it really makes me sad.

My dad never struggled with these things, I guess because he wasn't raised this way. He did marry (and divorce) again after my mom, and he would happily belong to the denomination of his wife.

Having said all that, I sometimes miss the CoC songs.

[GMan]

Pleased to have you here.

[AtPeace]

Hi IO,

I too sometimes miss the songs.

I hurt when I read the line about your molestation. I'm so sorry that happened.

I admire how you've provided such a normal religious experience for your own kids.

Glad you're here!

[IntrepidOne]

Thanks. It really sucked, but I consider myself to be fairly well adjusted. It was a long time ago. The circumstances around my molestation (the second time, I never told my parents about the first time until after the second time) led to a series of events that eventually caused my parents divorce. It was hard on me there for a while, but time marched on and eventually I was able to get over feeling guilty.

We knew we needed to think about finding a church we could handle when my now 13 year old son was 8. We were sitting in a restaurant having lunch on a Sunday. Christian songs were playing in there, I guess because it was Sunday. My son looked at us after several songs and asked us why all the songs were about Cheez-its. Of course they were about Jesus, but he was clueless! So, we set about on our journey that eventually led us to a Presbyterian church.

[Moogy]

Cheeze-It's!

And welcome back.

[AtPeace]

What a fantastic story re the Cheese-its. I love that.

[juliac]

Love this story. I know many of us can relate. I'm so glad you have found the loving God that you can have a personal relationship with. Does anyone know of any books on ex-CoC growing up in the church???