Hello everyone,
I am new to the group and so thankful I found it! I am a 24 year old woman who was raised in a strict church of christ of which my father is an elder. I left around 2 years ago and things with my family have been tumultuous and awkward ever since. I am very much suffering from depression and anxiety because of the perfectionism I put on myself as a result of growing up in the church and with narcissistic elder for a father. I'm so grateful for this board and this site because for a long time I was unable to see that what I experienced was dysfunctional, abusive, and cult-like. I'm just starting to deal with all of those things and stand up to my parents. I'm looking forward to finding some more validation and any tips or tricks this ppl in this forum have used to release themselves from the hold the church and a coc family can have.
Best,
Candace
Hello Everyone
Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome Candace, Hope you can get what you need from us here.
A life lived in fear,
is a life half lived.
Glen McGuire
is a life half lived.
Glen McGuire
Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome Candace!
Since leaving, I've struggled (too) with the anxiety, depression, and even anger over those expectations I put on myself and those others put on me while in the church. I have some really bad days, moments, where I have to be reminded that I can't beat myself up over any expectation other than to just be myself. Just want you to know that you're definitely not alone in that battle.
Since leaving, I've struggled (too) with the anxiety, depression, and even anger over those expectations I put on myself and those others put on me while in the church. I have some really bad days, moments, where I have to be reminded that I can't beat myself up over any expectation other than to just be myself. Just want you to know that you're definitely not alone in that battle.
" Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change."
Re: Hello Everyone
check out some of the book suggestions under Spiritual Abuse - for a start!
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome, glad to have you here!
Moogy
NI COC for over 30 years, but out for over 40 years now
Mostly Methodist for about 30 years.
Left the UMC in 2019 based on their decision to condemn LGBT+ persons and to discipline Pastors who perform same-sex marriages
NI COC for over 30 years, but out for over 40 years now
Mostly Methodist for about 30 years.
Left the UMC in 2019 based on their decision to condemn LGBT+ persons and to discipline Pastors who perform same-sex marriages
Re: Hello Everyone
Welcome Candace! I'm so sorry to hear about what all has happened in the last two years. I find joy in just reading my Bible when I feel anxious about my departure. Once I was out of the CoC, I read the Bible (in context for once) with an open mind - and found joy knowing that Jesus died for me, and I can have a personal relationship with my Creator, and not fear Him like I did for all those years.
Currently writing a book based on my experiences as a child in the CoC. Watch for updates so I can include other ex-members insights 