Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hi there!

How old are you? If you are 18 and out of high school, can you start taking baby steps towards leaving home and getting out on your own? "Launching" from home is sometimes sort of "wobbly" feeling. Remember that it's perfectly normal for things not to go perfectly as planned when you launch. A roommate may decide to move on before the lease is up, and that's ok. Not the end of the world. A job may shut down, and you have to work a different job you hate for a few months. Not the end of the world.

You don't have to have a "life plan," or five-year goals, or any of that stuff. Just take some steps out there and make a few things happen that move you closer to independence.

Glad you're here!

Welcome ... Prayers for you. Keep Searching. Make sure you deal with the depression.

Moogy wrote:If they are true believers, they have to shun those who leave.

While I do understand what you are saying, I have to add that you are much more generous of heart than I am, Moogy. The way I look at it....no, they don't "have to shun" those who leave. When a supposedly dear friend leaves the fold, one has a choice. If the choice is made to shun, it says everything about the shallowness of the shunner and the conditionality of the relationship with the shun-ee.

That is sad indeed.

Ivy wrote:

Moogy wrote:If they are true believers, they have to shun those who leave.

While I do understand what you are saying, I have to add that you are much more generous of heart than I am, Moogy. The way I look at it, NO -- they don't "have to shun" those who leave. When a supposedly dear friend leaves the fold, one has a choice. If the choice is made to shun, it says everything about the shallowness of the shunner and the appalling conditionality of the relationship with the shun-ee. It is very painful to learn that someone you felt to be a true friend is ready to kick you to the curb the minute you stop spouting their pet party line.

The leaving of a treasured cofc member is an unbelievable opportunity to experience cognitive dissonance,
and to make the right choice to be loyal to a true "friend indeed" rather than a system loyalist.

Welcome. I left you a private message. Glad you are here.

You are right, Ivy, that friends do have a choice. I am forever grateful that you didn't disfellowship me when I left. I was speaking of "True Believers" as defined by the book with that name, but I did not make that clear.

Hello. You're in the right place and we are happy you've found us!

Depression and anxiety is no fun at all and while you are on meds make sure you're taking care of yourself properly, because it will more than compound your situation if you don't. (PM me anytime.) Kind of like what KLP said--go on walks, connect with nature, do something that makes you happy. If you don't like crowds just go out with a couple of friends, echoing what ena said about the people around you. Definitely start surrounding yourself with people who either support you or are uplifting or both. (Kind of like when people say if you want to eat healthier start by replacing this dessert with an apple. Or whatever. )

In any case I hope you can find some good starting points on the board.