Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hi ...My name is Lisa and I left a hard-line Ultra Conservative Church of Christ after worshipping with them for about 10 years ...That was 10 years ago and I am still affiliated with the church and worship with a church of Christ however it is much different and not at all like the group that I left ....I must admit the years since I left the Church have been pure torment for me ...I have been spiritually discouraged and am always feeling that I "am not going to make it" ...I have just recently started re-examining some of the traditionally held doctrines of the hard-line Churches of Christ as a result of being blasted by two of these conservative brethren regarding my re-marriage. The way they approached me was nothing short of spiritual abuse! They told me once, told me twice and then washed their hands of me as I did not "repent" in their minds of my sin of re-marriage by leaving my current spouse and embracing a celibate lifestyle. I think that a lot of damage was done to me spiritually as a very new Christian being taken into such a rigid group of Christians with such black/white, good/bad, either/or type of thought processes....there was absolutely no empathy and I could never do anything right ...just when I felt I had one thing fixed, there was something else ...There were no grey areas allowed...You were either "on your scriptures" or 'off your scriptures" ...there was no room for independent thought and anyone who thought something different from the group was always wrong! To disagree with them was to disagree with God. There was a one size fits all approach/blueprint for every situation/sin and you had to agree with it or you were at risk of being disfellowshipped....It is very difficult to leave and trying to find your way back to some semblance of a normal life is near impossible. I feel as though I am mentally ill at times ...Ruminating and beating myself up over and over again like a broken record for not being able to stay strong and for the long trail of mistakes and poor choices that I have made since leaving this ultra conservative group. You feel as though there is no hope for you ...like you are damaged beyond repair ...like in Hebrews where it talks about a dog returning to its vomit and how no sacrifice for sins remains ...Now I will admit, that I went from one extreme to the other ...I completely abandoned the Church and my faith for a time...I was struggling...Now I am trying to make sense of things and strengthen my faith and relationship with God...I felt a sense of relief come over me when I found this support group I feel like maybe I'm not so crazy after all and maybe there still is hope for me ... So that is my story in a nutshell

Hi Thema -
And you are not crazy!

Welcome to the ex-board.

Welcome Thema, I hope this group will help you find peace. It continues to help me.

Welcome! Some of us have had similar experiences. I hope this board will give you many suggestions for healthier approaches to spirituality.

Welcome to the board. You may find an article I wrote, which is addressed to Christians, comforting. It's available at h**p://www.ex-churchofchrist.com/covenantCoC.htm (You will need to copy and paste the link into your browser and change the ** to tt). Or you can read the complete article in the Forum "Old Paths Reconsidered", under the thread title "The New Covenant". It starts as follows:

If as Christians we struggle against secret sins, fearful that God is losing patience with us, chances are we do not understand the new covenant. If as a Christian, we feel safe from God’s wrath because we have our sins mostly under control and repent daily, chances are we do not understand the new covenant....

Welcome, Thema!!

Welcome to the board

Welcome!

Thanks for the warm welcome Much appreciated! Teresa I just read your article - "The New Covenant" ..Very good and yes comforting! I am starting to be able to let go and believe in God's forgiveness ...I am weary from spending so much time ruminating about my mistakes and getting "stuck" in the Church of Christ "blueprints" and continuing to go back to them ...I am amazed though that I am finally beginning to read the scripture in this new light and it is indeed freeing ....I am excited to see where this new journey takes me and to deepen my relationship with God. I wish I had of found this group when I first left the church ...I have spent several years in limbo ...although I am still worshipping with a church of christ, they have never quite understood the type of teaching I came from or the impact that it has continued to have on my self-image and relationship with God. I knew that I couldn't stay with the Church I was in but I didn't have any help to transition away from them. I just felt that I was "off my scriptures" and needing to get back on track....I was essentially immobilized for several years ...Living in my own bubble of desperation and torment. I just praise and thank God that I am able to have the beginnings of a real understanding of his Grace & Forgiveness ...It is hard to break free from the "blueprints' of the CoC that are so heavily indoctrinated ...I am just so thankful that I am able to see the hope again and that I am not perpetually stuck in a dead end road of spiritual discouragement ...It's like I am reading the bible in an entirely new light. I have read all of the articles on this page and am very thankful to have found this group!

welcome, thema!