Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hello,
A little about me.

I'm apart of a conservative COC church and re-examining all I've been taught. Its been a complicated spiritual journey, but hopefully the right decision will be made. For most of my life I've dealt with self-doubt, insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, social awakwardness, people-pleasing which I believe are a result of authoritarian parenting. I'm trying to break free from this stuff and more. Growing up in a coC houshold I witnessed domestic abuse,addiction and infidelity committed by my father. He was also a minister and strict on us. My mom divorced finally divorced him. I was baptized at age 13. This was in part due to my grandmother studying scripture with me. During that time the rest of my family stopped going to church. I continued to attend throughout adulthood. I've always had a complicated relationship with my faith. What I've seen my parents do didn't necessarily follow the scripture. It was a "do as I say, but not as I do" upbringing, PARTICULARY with my father.

Both of my parents and siblings have been restored to the faith. They currently attend coC churches. My dad is still as hard-lined as ever. At this point I'm trying to obtain spiritual, mental, and emotional freedom....just simply be my own person. This is hard to do when you've been indoctrinated for so long. On the flip side I have alot of good memories with church friends which makes it difficult to leave. Right now I"m trying to figure out the next steps. I'm leaning towards taking a break from church or lowering my attendance. I've become a Sunday Morning Only attendee Overall I still believe in God and Jesus as my Saviour. I've also never fully agreed with idea that other Christians were going to hell because they weren't members of this church, especially when they lived out the Chrisitian faith better than those in the coC.


I'm going to read some old threads to help with the process. Soo thankful to have found this and other websites. I'm not alone . I'll post if I have any questions or thoughts. Thank you all!

Welcome to the ex board! Feel free to resurrect any of the older threads (topics, conversations) which interest you.

Welcome!

Welcome and yes that does sound like some history you have with CofC.

Welcome. We also have a Discussion Group where both CoC and ex-CoC are free to participate. But usually only ex-CoC participate now. I've been working my way through a couple of N T Wright books on Paul's Letter to the Romans, and on Jesus. Haven't posted on these for awhile, but will get back to it. If you are interested in this board, you need to sign up for it separately.

http://ex-churchofchrist.com/DiscussionBoard/

and you can find it at that link. At least, that one used to work. I think it still works!

Welcome, and best wishes for this transition. My decision to break with the COC was extremely difficult. In retrospect, I wish I had left years earlier.

Not that this will help you, but there are a lot of people that have a similar story. I am absolutely convinced the c of c is a religious cult, and leaving it is no different from getting away from any other cult. When your entire family is part of a hardline c of c walking away from that will have devastating consequences. My experience tells me there are no easy solutions for your situation. Stay and be miserable leave and be disconnected and an outcast from your family.

When we left virtually every friend we had withdrew from us and has never spoken to us since. The c of c mentality is an us vs. them. The c of c is us and everyone else on earth is them. You are either one of us or you're one of them. And if you're one of them then you can't be one of us.

Thank you all for the welcome. I look forward to particpating.

Cootie Brown wrote:Not that this will help you, but there are a lot of people that have a similar story. I am absolutely convinced the c of c is a religious cult, and leaving it is no different from getting away from any other cult. When your entire family is part of a hardline c of c walking away from that will have devastating consequences. My experience tells me there are no easy solutions for your situation. Stay and be miserable leave and be disconnected and an outcast from your family.

When we left virtually every friend we had withdrew from us and has never spoken to us since. The c of c mentality is an us vs. them. The c of c is us and everyone else on earth is them. You are either one of us or you're one of them. And if you're one of them then you can't be one of us.

This is the part the bothers me the most. I don't want to loose my social foundation due changes in my beliefs. Also friendships don't come by that easy for me. I'm afriad to be alone. I think my family would be a most disappointed, but would understand. My mom has plenty of family who are not members of this church, but still loves them very much. My dad on the other hand...that will be like going up against a bear. I taught my siblings and 5 years ago they were baptized. I'm afraid of ruining their faith. I know I"m not responsible for their beliefs, but I don't want to be guilty of Matthew 18:6.

kneedeep

I wrote an article about the new covenant and God's grace (see link below), which you might find helpful. It's written not to hurt the faith of those in the CoC, but rather to broaden the CoC understanding of God's mercifulness toward us. I have found that CoC people really like to learn about God's grace, because many are stressed out with fears and hidden sins. Some eventually come to understand that God is gracious to those outside the CoC as well.

BTW, I ran this article by a CoC preacher who used to post on the Discussion page, and he helped me with some good suggestions, and he liked the final revision. So there are CoC folks out there that understand God's grace and still are conservative in their views and feel no need to leave the traditional CoC.

http://ex-churchofchrist.com/SupportBoa ... f=6&t=1047