Greetings and hallucinations
Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:41 am
Following a trail of old experiences and names, one of which led me here.
I'm not too concerned about my own anonymity here, but realize others may be concerned as to theirs, so I will be considerate, should I recognize someone from my past. I dare say there will be one or two who will know me quite quickly. If you would care to let me know how you fit into my past, I will enjoy that connection. If I over-share, I'm sure someone will let me know.
Quite some time ago, I came to a level of comfort with "The god of my misunderstanding" and no longer subscribe to any religious formula. The phrase "Zen Buddhism" is probably as accurate as any, except I know nothing of Buddhism. I describe myself as an optimistically nihilistic existentialist. We're all going to hell in a bucket, so we may as well enjoy the ride. That is tongue-in-cheek, but bears much truth.
I grew up in hardline coc congregations, mostly in Texas, in the fifties and sixties, and as a child was in men's training classes from the age of 8 or so, and was baptized at nine by a preacher who later ran off with someone's wife and the treasury, I think. I led singing on Sunday and Wednesday nights from the age of ten or so and presented short sermons of my own device. My family was involved in the establishment of numerous congregations, including one that would be somewhat historic. Dad's heart's desire was that I be an engineer or a "minister of the word". I tried, but failed in glorious and rather public fashion. I was one of those hippie Jesus Freaks through the sixties and seventies, "depending on the lord" for shelter and sustenance many times.
I'm currently 66 years old and live with my 90-year-old still hard-core coc dad, with whom I have never had a good relationship. I've known all my life that when this part of his life came along, it would be up to me to be there for him, and circumstances a few years ago presented me with no choice but to accept that role. I keep him out of the nursing home, he keeps me off the streets. There was an unmistakable divine intervention that brought this about. We have reached a pretty stable level of detente that only gets shaken when he starts with the authoritarian coc attitude, which I have finally learned how to stand up to and squelch when it gets to the point of ridiculousness, Usually, I can let it pass like a fart on the wind, but not always.
I frequently have to bite my tongue when reading some of his extensive missives on faith and doctrine and hearing his harangues on his perception of life through his coc goggles. Perhaps the reader can imagine the tone his "autobiography" takes.
Anyway, I'm not here looking for answers or debate. Just thought it would be interesting to be among folks who have similar backgrounds and have found ways to work around the mind pollution of our earlier years. Sometimes the tapes do start playing, and it's good to know there are folks who might know where to find the "off" switch.
End of ramble...
I'm not too concerned about my own anonymity here, but realize others may be concerned as to theirs, so I will be considerate, should I recognize someone from my past. I dare say there will be one or two who will know me quite quickly. If you would care to let me know how you fit into my past, I will enjoy that connection. If I over-share, I'm sure someone will let me know.
Quite some time ago, I came to a level of comfort with "The god of my misunderstanding" and no longer subscribe to any religious formula. The phrase "Zen Buddhism" is probably as accurate as any, except I know nothing of Buddhism. I describe myself as an optimistically nihilistic existentialist. We're all going to hell in a bucket, so we may as well enjoy the ride. That is tongue-in-cheek, but bears much truth.
I grew up in hardline coc congregations, mostly in Texas, in the fifties and sixties, and as a child was in men's training classes from the age of 8 or so, and was baptized at nine by a preacher who later ran off with someone's wife and the treasury, I think. I led singing on Sunday and Wednesday nights from the age of ten or so and presented short sermons of my own device. My family was involved in the establishment of numerous congregations, including one that would be somewhat historic. Dad's heart's desire was that I be an engineer or a "minister of the word". I tried, but failed in glorious and rather public fashion. I was one of those hippie Jesus Freaks through the sixties and seventies, "depending on the lord" for shelter and sustenance many times.
I'm currently 66 years old and live with my 90-year-old still hard-core coc dad, with whom I have never had a good relationship. I've known all my life that when this part of his life came along, it would be up to me to be there for him, and circumstances a few years ago presented me with no choice but to accept that role. I keep him out of the nursing home, he keeps me off the streets. There was an unmistakable divine intervention that brought this about. We have reached a pretty stable level of detente that only gets shaken when he starts with the authoritarian coc attitude, which I have finally learned how to stand up to and squelch when it gets to the point of ridiculousness, Usually, I can let it pass like a fart on the wind, but not always.
I frequently have to bite my tongue when reading some of his extensive missives on faith and doctrine and hearing his harangues on his perception of life through his coc goggles. Perhaps the reader can imagine the tone his "autobiography" takes.
Anyway, I'm not here looking for answers or debate. Just thought it would be interesting to be among folks who have similar backgrounds and have found ways to work around the mind pollution of our earlier years. Sometimes the tapes do start playing, and it's good to know there are folks who might know where to find the "off" switch.
End of ramble...
