I'm so glad this exists

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jam
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2019 1:02 pm

I'm so glad this exists

Post by jam »

Hi, I'm a 20 year old college student that was raised in the church in the "homeland" of the resurgence of the COC in Kentucky. The congregation I was in when really young was only about 40 people, but the one after that was close to 300 and growing. I left the church and had a small falling out with my parents when I was about 17. Its been tense with my family ever since, especially because I then came out as bisexual. Honestly, I was the start of a sort of "crisis" in the congregation, because even though the numbers were growing, the young people were all leaving after I had started to get critical with the elders. The elders blame me specifically for all of this

A lot of people I had counted as my best friends cut me off and my parents thought that I was the horrible black sheep of the family even though I'm incredibly accomplished in all other aspects of my life. And the elders have now been really hard on my parents for "raising me wrong" and "starting a trend of evil"

I've held a lot of anger and spite against the church and my family and even religion in general because of it. I've started going to therapy and I wondered if maybe I could find a support group just like this one when I stumbled across this forum today. I'm hoping since I'm really young that some older ex-members can help me let go of the anger I hold and reading the posts will help me see that I'm not alone.
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Ivy
Posts: 6473
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 11:05 pm

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by Ivy »

Welcome, jam!! So glad you found us.
~Stone Cold Ivyrose Austin~
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teresa
Site Admin
Posts: 1396
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 10:57 am

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by teresa »

Welcome to the board.
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Cootie Brown
Posts: 3997
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2016 4:34 pm
Location: TN

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by Cootie Brown »

Welcome, what you experienced when you left the church is predictable. That sort of stuff happens more often than not. Your feelings about the church and religion aren’t unusual either.

It also isn’t all that unusual for people that leave the church to leave the faith too. After I left the c of C I tried more liberal versions of Christianity, but I eventually realized my faith had vanished and I had no desire to try to revive it.

I’ve found life without religion to be far more enjoyable but I realize some people simply need religion, in some form, in their life. Whatever works for you is the way to go.
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agricola
Posts: 4835
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 10:31 pm

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by agricola »

Hi Jam, welcome to the ex-board.
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
gordie91
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 1:55 pm
Location: Piney Woods O East TX

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by gordie91 »

Hello, and welcome to the board!
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Moogy
Posts: 1236
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:20 pm
Location: on the ranch near Eldorado, Texas

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by Moogy »

Welcome. It is hard, really hard, to follow your own path when your family and friends are against you. Are you still living in the same city with these old churches and your family? College time is a great time to put some physical distance between you and old relationships.
Moogy
NI COC for over 30 years, but out for over 40 years now
Mostly Methodist for about 30 years.
Left the UMC in 2019 based on their decision to condemn LGBT+ persons and to discipline Pastors who perform same-sex marriages
jam
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2019 1:02 pm

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by jam »

Moogy wrote:Welcome. It is hard, really hard, to follow your own path when your family and friends are against you. Are you still living in the same city with these old churches and your family?
I'm a 2 hours drive and I live in an apartment and work part time to get by so I've got some distance. I even did a study abroad for a semester and that got me all the way over in England for a few months. The time and distance has really given me some clarity and peace of mind. I actually got my parents to tell the elders that I wasn't coming back to church while I was abroad so as to keep harassment to a minimum
Tsathoggua
Posts: 258
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:55 pm

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by Tsathoggua »

Good to have you on board! I hope that everything works out for you.
Lerk
Posts: 126
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:27 pm

Re: I'm so glad this exists

Post by Lerk »

jam wrote:I've held a lot of anger and spite against the church and my family and even religion in general because of it. I've started going to therapy and I wondered if maybe I could find a support group just like this one when I stumbled across this forum today. I'm hoping since I'm really young that some older ex-members can help me let go of the anger I hold and reading the posts will help me see that I'm not alone.
Welcome aboard, jam. I hope we are able to help you in some way. We can listen and offer advice, and although each of our situations is a bit different, we can sympathize with some of what you're going through and empathize with the rest.
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