Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hi, I'm a 20 year old college student that was raised in the church in the "homeland" of the resurgence of the COC in Kentucky. The congregation I was in when really young was only about 40 people, but the one after that was close to 300 and growing. I left the church and had a small falling out with my parents when I was about 17. Its been tense with my family ever since, especially because I then came out as bisexual. Honestly, I was the start of a sort of "crisis" in the congregation, because even though the numbers were growing, the young people were all leaving after I had started to get critical with the elders. The elders blame me specifically for all of this

A lot of people I had counted as my best friends cut me off and my parents thought that I was the horrible black sheep of the family even though I'm incredibly accomplished in all other aspects of my life. And the elders have now been really hard on my parents for "raising me wrong" and "starting a trend of evil"

I've held a lot of anger and spite against the church and my family and even religion in general because of it. I've started going to therapy and I wondered if maybe I could find a support group just like this one when I stumbled across this forum today. I'm hoping since I'm really young that some older ex-members can help me let go of the anger I hold and reading the posts will help me see that I'm not alone.

Welcome, jam!! So glad you found us.

Welcome to the board.

Welcome, what you experienced when you left the church is predictable. That sort of stuff happens more often than not. Your feelings about the church and religion aren’t unusual either.

It also isn’t all that unusual for people that leave the church to leave the faith too. After I left the c of C I tried more liberal versions of Christianity, but I eventually realized my faith had vanished and I had no desire to try to revive it.

I’ve found life without religion to be far more enjoyable but I realize some people simply need religion, in some form, in their life. Whatever works for you is the way to go.

Hi Jam, welcome to the ex-board.

Hello, and welcome to the board!

Welcome. It is hard, really hard, to follow your own path when your family and friends are against you. Are you still living in the same city with these old churches and your family? College time is a great time to put some physical distance between you and old relationships.

Moogy wrote:Welcome. It is hard, really hard, to follow your own path when your family and friends are against you. Are you still living in the same city with these old churches and your family?

I'm a 2 hours drive and I live in an apartment and work part time to get by so I've got some distance. I even did a study abroad for a semester and that got me all the way over in England for a few months. The time and distance has really given me some clarity and peace of mind. I actually got my parents to tell the elders that I wasn't coming back to church while I was abroad so as to keep harassment to a minimum

Good to have you on board! I hope that everything works out for you.

jam wrote:I've held a lot of anger and spite against the church and my family and even religion in general because of it. I've started going to therapy and I wondered if maybe I could find a support group just like this one when I stumbled across this forum today. I'm hoping since I'm really young that some older ex-members can help me let go of the anger I hold and reading the posts will help me see that I'm not alone.

Welcome aboard, jam. I hope we are able to help you in some way. We can listen and offer advice, and although each of our situations is a bit different, we can sympathize with some of what you're going through and empathize with the rest.