Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hey there,
I had a bad experience of what I would say is spiritual abuse by a hardline coC preacher online, it was comparatively really mild and short lived (lasting a mere week) in relation to others here, although it has had an impact about a month later. I am grateful to God and to all here for this forum, as it was a great help in validation in the initial stages of leaving. I am a Gen-Z and quite young (I still live with my parents), so I am on the internet a lot. Sorry, this is a long and disorganised post but I really need to vent and I felt it necessary to mention many details.
I was a devout Evangelical (with some Hebrew roots leanings, and I had interest with fringe groups and conspiratorial groups such IFBs) until I encountered an online article in January of this year by a Church of Christ preacher named Brian Yeager (I use his name since he is quite public with it, and you can google him to confirm) in El Paso, TX, specifically in response to giving up everything for Christ. He is fringe even among the non-institutionals (he rejects Florida College as sin).
I read his other teachings and little by little I started accepting them, partially due to the presentation of scripture and the amount of scripture he threw out. I felt I couldn't refute it. I also had few people to talk to since I am a bit of a loner, and I wasn't going to a church because I was quite concerned about sabbath issues (Hebrew roots). It started with instrumental music, which I accepted as unbiblical but I was dismissive about the rest and read him occasionally.
Around late May of this year, I was having a bad time and I had some free time due to quarantine. I started reading his articles slowly but then I essentially binged his articles. I started accepting his teachings, not because I wanted it to be true, but because I couldn't refute it. This created a great fear and anxiety within me, so much so that I was physically affected with symptoms such as gerd, shaky legs, an inability to focus on anything other than his articles, and a general stiffness. I talked to my dad archaically about him and the doctrines, so he started to suspect something. I accepted the idea of baptism being necessary to salvation (which in some strange way saved me from becoming coC), and so I feared that I might die without baptism. We live in a Third World country as expats, so thankfully there's no strong presence of the coC, plus we know some non-denominational missionaries, so I reasoned that since I couldn't be baptised at a coC, a non-denominational baptism would suffice. I asked my dad to ask them to baptise me, since he had contact with them. It was that evening that I talked to him about the guy and he was concerned.
Eventually I encountered some of his seriously outlandish and seriously harmful teachings which pushed me over the edge (note: these aren't the only bad ones as most of you know, they were just instrumental in bringing me away), which included:
1) You aren't allowed to bond with "apostates or heretics" among the brethren (Everyone I knew and loved was in this category)

2) God no longer interferes outside natural means, meaning you can't pray for anything outside forgiveness, or 'providence'. You can cast your anxieties on GOD but He can't give you spiritual comfort (and to pray for that is sinful and will send you to hell since the Holy Spirit ceased).

3) (I contacted him on this via email along with other things) You aren't allowed to give to charity organizations outside the church, be they religious or not. Also, you cannot run soup kitchens, almshouses etc. in a secular manner because God tells you to give directly to the needy (also he was really stingy with who was needy and made it nigh impossible to give worthily). God also only ordained 3 institutions: the church, the home, and the government

I talked to my parents about 1 which I was sadly convinced, I think I nearly cried when I heard it (I barely cry), my parents' response was solid as they got me in contact with the missionaries and later talked to me out of serious concern. I talked to the missionary and it took me 2 days to finally come away. I heard number 3 which made me angry, and that evening I talked with the missionary for a 2nd time and he was the final nail in the coffin. When I came out, it felt like a great burden lifted from my shoulder, I was so happy I could barely sleep and I couldn't stop laughing or smiling. It was also easy leaving since I had nothing to lose since I never went physically to a coC and no one else I knew belonged to the group (my sincerest regards to those whose family they had to leave). It was also great that there were no groups (outside one ICoC, which is a different beast), in the country, I even asked Brian on this, he couldn't find anything. That weekend I was baptised. I also looked for other denoms, and now I am practically sold on confessional Lutheranism due to a combination of scripture and church history (I'll leave it there). I find that Church history is a great bane of coC and other churches. Brian Yeager used the cheap underground theory that other fringe groups use, he also hated the Campbells. Another thing of note (specifically with Brian Yeager) is that there are (I think, I used directories such as Steve Rudd's) 3 non-institutional coCs in El Paso, Brian claimed to be the only "true" one since they don't agree with Bri**cough** scripture.
I did not however come out of this online debacle unscathed. I am still filled with fear when I hear sectarian and fringe groups speak, and I am somewhat hesitant to go to a church because I fear that I would be isolated and lead into another situation like this before, even among Lutherans. I also mistrust any 2000s HTML site because I associate it with him, I am serious here. I think it left a greater wound than I give off, and I am still hurt after a month. If you read this far, thank you. My situation is not as bad, in fact far from it, as others, however I still was hurt.

Thank you DonkusKebab for sharing this and welcome here. I've looked at the Church in El Paso website and from what I've seen, I'm glad you're separating from them.

The one thing I see absent from reading their main webpage is love. I wouldn't expect to see a hint of love in that group. Secondly, just a pot load of condemnation of about everyone else on the face of the earth, including everyone in the Restoration Movement. I can just feel a reminiscent heaviness (PTSD?) reading through all that arrogance. Here's a couple of statements from their homepage:

5. You will not see what is common among the churches of Christ that exist today that are part of a man-made "Restoration Movement". The body of Christ never fell away (Romans 11:1-5 and Hebrews 12:22-28) to need restoring. The "Restoration Movement" began of men. The church [the one body; Ephesians 1:22-23; 4:1-6] began with Christ (Matthew 16:18, Acts 20:28, and Ephesians 5:25). The saved have been added to the church since the first century (Acts 2:47). Thus, the human traditions practiced by many so-called "churches of Christ" are not practiced amongst the saints here (Colossians 2:4-23). If you are looking for those whom adhere to the doctrines of men, we are not those people (Matthew 15:1-14, I Corinthians 4:6, and Galatians 1:10).

6. We are a welcoming group of saints. However, we are not so welcoming if there would be those who would seek to bring in some other doctrine among us (Romans 16:17-18, Galatians 2:1-5, I Timothy 1:3-7, I Timothy 6:3-5, and Jude 1:3-4).

They're a big turn off for me right from the get-go. I hope you'll continue growing in your journey and wish you the very best along the way!

h**ps://www.wordsoftruth.net/elpasochurchofchrist.htm

By their fruits you shall know them.

Never mind what they teach

What do they DO?

how to they treat others - both 'each other' and 'the other' (non members, even non Christians)

are they kind?

Do they make a difference in the world? a POSITIVE one?

Hey there,

In terms of fruit, they are scant as they are quite private with their works. I can only assume that they don't make much of an impact within the world, as they are quite hesitant to give money to those outside their church, from what I can tell. With other Christians (non-members), he is harsh and frequently exposes their "errors", which look less like they're done out of love and more to serve his own point. He has a long list where he 'exposes' everything outside his corner of cofc, even other non-institutional hardliners. If you have a slightly different opinion to him regarding religion, you're an apostate and are going to hell. Brian's teachings mix in with his attitude, which is an us (everyone who lines up with everything he says) vs everyone else sort of deal. He is without love or kindness for those he deems as lost in error, as he acts as a judge. He's also very much in league with the whole 'acts as a blueprint of all authorised activities' deal, and frankly he is more legalistic than most about it. His website is www.wordsoftruth.net so you can check to see.

His ultimate error is that he sees his interpretation as infallible, and he is quick to condemn those who fall out of it harshly.
Also a lot of his sermons are doom and gloom.

DonkusKebab wrote: ↑Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:24 am Hey there,

In terms of fruit, they are scant as they are quite private with their works. I can only assume that they don't make much of an impact within the world, as they are quite hesitant to give money to those outside their church, from what I can tell. With other Christians (non-members), he is harsh and frequently exposes their "errors", which look less like they're done out of love and more to serve his own point. He has a long list where he 'exposes' everything outside his corner of cofc, even other non-institutional hardliners. If you have a slightly different opinion to him regarding religion, you're an apostate and are going to hell. Brian's teachings mix in with his attitude, which is an us (everyone who lines up with everything he says) vs everyone else sort of deal. He is without love or kindness for those he deems as lost in error, as he acts as a judge. He's also very much in league with the whole 'acts as a blueprint of all authorised activities' deal, and frankly he is more legalistic than most about it. His website is www.wordsoftruth.net so you can check to see.

His ultimate error is that he sees his interpretation as infallible, and he is quick to condemn those who fall out of it harshly.
Also a lot of his sermons are doom and gloom.

There is nothing even faintly close to Christianity with this group, in fact it sounds like a true cult to me. Does this Brian dude have an arsenal of weapons in his home? I'd run from this group and never go back.

I don't know regarding potential ownership of weapons, however, due to them being legal in Texas, it wouldn't surprise me if he had one or two. He is also meticulous about the civil law, so much so that a minor transgression puts one in danger of hell (he made a sermon that if one speeds, one must repent before they die else they'll end up in hell in his typical condemning fashion). I guess, with his incredibly long list of wrong and right, basically none (except him) are saved. I don't think they are a cult in the traditional sense, but rather due to their long list of right and wrong, they isolate themselves from the world. When I was under their influence, I felt completely isolated, even from God, since (according to them) I couldn't ask God for comfort. That is the sinister and cultlike aspect that they keep you around everyone but you cannot be with them since they aren't of God. I remember sort of hating God because of what they taught, which I repent of, also that wasn't God I was praying to, but Brian (in a metaphorical sense as I think I feared Brian and his subversion more than God and the truth). In a sense he became God, as the judge of who and who wasn't saved. I would like to note that I am a world-class overthinker and I backed myself into a corner (due to isolation) which left me open to the influence of Brian. I would nonetheless like to thank this board for the support I have revieved.

DonkusKebab wrote: ↑Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:10 pm I don't know regarding potential ownership of weapons, however, due to them being legal in Texas, it wouldn't surprise me if he had one or two. He is also meticulous about the civil law, so much so that a minor transgression puts one in danger of hell (he made a sermon that if one speeds, one must repent before they die else they'll end up in hell in his typical condemning fashion). I guess, with his incredibly long list of wrong and right, basically none (except him) are saved. I don't think they are a cult in the traditional sense, but rather due to their long list of right and wrong, they isolate themselves from the world. When I was under their influence, I felt completely isolated, even from God, since (according to them) I couldn't ask God for comfort. That is the sinister and cultlike aspect that they keep you around everyone but you cannot be with them since they aren't of God. I remember sort of hating God because of what they taught, which I repent of, also that wasn't God I was praying to, but Brian (in a metaphorical sense as I think I feared Brian and his subversion more than God and the truth). In a sense he became God, as the judge of who and who wasn't saved. I would like to note that I am a world-class overthinker and I backed myself into a corner (due to isolation) which left me open to the influence of Brian. I would nonetheless like to thank this board for the support I have revieved.

I don't think you're an overthinker at all. I think you're just smart and analytical. I'm not a cult expert, but something sounds incredibly wrong about this guy to me, especially the aspect of complete isolation from the world. Just sounds like one dangerous dude, to me anyway. I would stay away, away, away. One especially spooky part to me is forbidding prayers to God for comfort, insinuating that he, Brian, is who to go to for your comfort. Is that right? This guy to me just does not sound like a psychologically healthy person, that he believes simply being human, with all the faults and sin that comes with that, sends you to hell, meaning that your salvation is determined by you alone and kept by you alone, turning yourself into a "super human" of perfection, as if that would ever be possible. It's a non-starter. It's just not the gospel IMO. It's rather spiritual abuse to me.

One thing that helped me was when I realized that God cannot be restricted by man, that he can do anything he wants, any time he wants, and in whatever way he wants, and that God is changeless, eternal. That, I think, fully comports with all of scripture. Sounds like you were in a perfect example of members being led to put God into an extraordinarily small box, tied down and hand-cuffed, so they could then turn their attention to Brian. Perfect Brian. You know, the type of guy who needs repentance more than anyone he "leads", like he's the end-all source of knowledge of repentance for everyone else.

Thank you for your comment, it has been helpful and affirming. I realise I may have left some aspect out of his character. You note the aspect of complete isolation, this isn't entirely true as he does not condemn marriage to those outside the body, although he does not that one is not allowed to become close to the spouse, which in essence acts as a great isolator. One is not allowed to draw close to those outside by talking about deeper things outside of one sided preaching, one isn't allowed to spend quality time (such as with parents) with those outside the body. One is allowed to have formal business interactions with them. I think you hit the nail when you stated, "One especially spooky part to me is forbidding prayers to God for comfort, insinuating that he, Brian, is who to go to for your comfort." He is the "comforter", he technically put scripture there, but his interpretations were the truth so yeah.

I do not think that he is one of these charismatic personality types, rather he is a greatly self deluded man, I guess that is what it means to rely on one's own understanding. Part of the danger is that he throws out many, many, many bible verses and states his interpretation of said verses with such confidence in him being right. I would under usual circumstances ask you to look further into him through his writings, but seeing my past abuse, I simply cannot recommend anyone read his poisonous words. However, he seems, from what I can tell, having Obsessive personality disorder. Please note this is not an official diagnosis (I am not licenced nor have I studied disorders in depth)and Lord knows if he has any psychological problems

That last paragraph is something I thankfully realised. When I came out, a quote that stuck with me was "God never hurt me, people did." I truly wish that people who come out of cult like settings such as those found on the board realise this as well. In a sense, I am thankful that this happened because I was able to drop many doctrines from my prior evangelical interpretations (eschatology, church history etc.) and build my foundation from the ground up. It also thankfully did not last long, really lasting about a week or two (one could say a few months but it was super mild and basically consisted of me not listening to instrumental worship music). I do not want to gloat in this as many have been hurt in other ways and for much longer, I only have the sincerest of sympathy, and now from my experience I am able to empathise with them on a deeper level.

DonkusKebab wrote: ↑Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:23 pm " He is the "comforter", he technically put scripture there, but his interpretations were the truth so yeah.

Part of the danger is that he throws out many, many, many bible verses and states his interpretation of said verses with such confidence in him being right.

The best word I can think of to describe this dude is "creepy". Self-righteousness is an obsession in the CofC, but this guy is something else. It would appear he worships scriptures, puts them right up there on the altar, then boasts of his "right" understanding of them. He "leans" on his own understanding. Where is God in his theology anyway? Is He just a bystander? Has he ever talked about acknowledging God in anything? I kinda doubt it....he would most likely acknowledge a scripture only. Like, you know, God left the room.

A better understanding to me is that if one refuses to reckon with his own self-righteousness, he gains nothing in Christianity and remains blind. You might be able to understand your own sin and salvation from it. But if you do so in the absence of seeing the elephant in the room, i.e., your own self-righteousness, and you just continue on walking around in it, what have you gained? The CofC loves and adores self-righteousness, it is really one of the pillars it is built on. And it comes from their own blindness, not being able to see that the coin has two sides, one side is your sin, the other side is your self-righteousness. They both go together. And you need salvation from your own self-righteousness probably even more than from your sin. (When I say "you" and "your" I'm not speaking of you personally, I'm speaking of everyone in general.)

And when you read in scripture about our "death from" or our "death to", there is a component of dying in Christianity. To me, that dying directly points to our self-righteousness. It must die, it has to die or you haven't gone anywhere. And when you read in scripture references to washing, etc., that to me points to our sin, that is, our cleansing from it. Our self-righteousness must die and be replaced with something else. Our sin can only be washed away. Distinguishing those two concepts in my mind has probably helped me more than anything else in living as a post-CofC "disabled" person. I have never been to any CofC that could even begin to understand that distinction. A more descriptive name for the Church of Christ would be the Church of Know-It-Alls.