Greetings and Salutations

[adeaconsdaughter]

Hi everyone, I dubbed myself "a deacons daughter" because in all my explanations of my experiences with coC upbringing, my father's position in the church was always a critical point non-coCers couldn't comprehend. My Catholic raised husband still doesn't understand how core this identity was for me and my family and how it colored every possible decision. Of course it means nothing now, all three of his adult children have left coC. I am full of righteous vindication at his trading of our sanity for his political positioning and sad for his loss of that part of his identity. He was raised coC too.

So much internal conflict!

I left coC 22 years ago, but the wounds never healed. I've ignored the damage and so much is now floating up from the bottom of my soul. I think now that my kids are older, I have the energy to devote to my own heart and mind. For their sake, for the sake of my marriage, and for me.

I am so thankful to have found this board. I look forward to getting to know you all better

[Moogy]

Welcome, we are glad to have you!

[adeaconsdaughter]

Thank you Moogly

[NeverAgain]

Welcome. We all understand, and we're glad to have you here. I left 30 years ago, but you never get completely over the toxicity of the Church of Christ. I take advantage of every opportunity to help others leave the denomination, because I know first hand that life is happier, more satisfying, more content, more positive, more fulfilling, and generally better in every way outside the CofC.

[adeaconsdaughter]

I couldn't agree more whole-heartedly NeverAgain. I cannot imagine the puddle of mush and mood-enhancers I'd be right now if I had stayed.

Funny, its been the Duggar scandal that has dredged all this back up for me. Reading all the headlines, the cover up stories, and the victims' public defense of their brother. So many triggers on what "a good christian woman" is supposed to be. Different, yet the same. Happy to be away from it, just wish it would leave me alone. LOL.

[margin overa]

Welcome! Yes, we understand where you're coming from - my dad was a preacher, stopped that, then went up the ladder as a deacon and then an elder. I hear you loud and clear about someone subjugating their lives and family to what is essentially an autocratic political position in a church.

[adeaconsdaughter]

Thank you Margin.

Just having a place where people understand is so cathartic. I've been reading over the boards and feels so good not to be alone even though it's terrible to see so many who suffered through it.

[AtPeace]

Glad you're here!

[GMan]

Welcome from someone who as left decades ago. I do understand.

[agricola]

Welcome to the board - and my daddy was a deacon too. I left over 30 years ago and have only in the past ten years or so come to REALLY recognize all the ways being raised in the coc affected me throughout my life and even now. Thankfully, the influence DOES fade with time and it wasn't 100% terrible - quite.