Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I have read a lot here and finally decided to register. I grew up in the cofc, attended church three times a week, went to FHC, and married a guy there. After the kids grew up and left home, I moved away and left the marriage and the cofc. There was no reason to stay because the cofc doesn't know what to do with a divorcee. I am now happily unchurched and agnostic. My Sundays and Wednesday nights are no longer wasted going through the motions. Looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Hi and welcome to the ex-board. Moving away - far far away - was the best decision I ever made.

Welcome!

Welcome, we are glad to have you!

wow, welcome

Hi welcome!

Hi,
I left the coc in 2000 in the middle of a horrid divorce-after my local congregation refused to help me. It has taken me all this time to feel safe enough to reach out to others. I endured spiritual abuse and I inflicted the same legalism on my own children as they were growing up. Dealing with the stuff I put my kids through is the hardest part of healing for me. I also still have anger over how I was treated when I discovered my husband's infidelities. I want to let go of that anger, but I don't know how.
J57

Jleeokeeffe wrote:Hi,
I left the coc in 2000 in the middle of a horrid divorce-after my local congregation refused to help me. It has taken me all this time to feel safe enough to reach out to others. I endured spiritual abuse and I inflicted the same legalism on my own children as they were growing up. Dealing with the stuff I put my kids through is the hardest part of healing for me. I also still have anger over how I was treated when I discovered my husband's infidelities. I want to let go of that anger, but I don't know how.
J57

My divorce was fairly easy once everyone accepted the fact that I was serious and not just suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome. They all thought I would fail miserably and beg to go back, but that was over ten years ago. I'm now gainfully employed and recently remarried to someone I knew when I was a teenager. Life is good.

The cofc isn't very understanding about divorce. Maybe talking about it here will help you through the anger. Success is the best revenge.

Hi ledonna,

During my divorce I completed my BA and I've become a successful high school teacher. Great revenge. However last summer my husband and I returned to the Midwest to be closer to our kids and grandkids. Now I see my ex at family functions 2-3 times a year. He refuses to even be in the same room as me and my kids & grandkids have noticed his arrogant behavior. This has led to some unresolved anger bubbling to the surface in me. I'm angry with the coc defending him and ignoring his adultery and abusiveness. I'm angry with him being a jerk and stressing out my kids (all adults). My anger at my ex is easing yet I feel a strong drive to confront the men in the coc for covering up the ex's infidelities and for turning their backs on me. As I was typing this I realized I could write a letter to those men (I would not send it). I will try that sometime this week. Thank you for listening!
J57