Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

You might recognize that line from the Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil", but I'm only the Devil in CoCer minds.

I married in to the Church of Christ, and I attended my husband's church for about 20 years. My husband still attends, but I walked out a few years ago when the preacher at that time went on a tirade from the pulpit which was directed at me. He turned red in the face started jumping up and down, and proceeded to declare that anyone who sat in church week after week and didn't respond and be baptized was just "mean". He did send a postcard after I stopped attending to apologize. He wrote, "I'm sorry if I offended you." I suppose he fulfilled his Christian duty to apologize, and I was the one who erred because I didn't accept his half hearted apology.

I'm out of that place and looking for another church that actually practices true Christianity, but my kids still attend with my husband. My husband was not very active in the CoC when we got married, but he has gone back, and now he wouldn't dare miss a service or activity. My husband is an adult, and he is responsible for his own spiritual life, but I worry about the damage the CoC is doing to my kids. At least I had a good upbringing in a solid Grace filled church, but my kids don't have any other standard by which to compare their church experience. I try to counter what they are learning in church with a less harsh view of the world and religion, but I know that every time they attend that church they have CoC doctrine hammered into their skulls.

I've read some of the experiences that life long CoC members have posted on this board about how they have built new spiritual lives outside of the CoC, and it does give me hope.

"Mean"? Makes no sense at all. I guess he thinks you were "mean" to deprive him of the joy of saying he converted someone? I can just picture him red in the face, jumping up and down.
I am amazed you survived 20 years. Welcome to our refugee camp!

Welcome! Hope your being here will be of help to you!

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story.

Many can relate. Welcome!

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I'm happy to be here and have others to talk with who can relate.

Moogy wrote:"Mean"? Makes no sense at all. I guess he thinks you were "mean" to deprive him of the joy of saying he converted someone? I can just picture him red in the face, jumping up and down.
I am amazed you survived 20 years. Welcome to our refugee camp!

He definitely tried everything he could think of to try an convert me to the CoC. He's retired now, but still a member at that church. He's always calling my husband to talk about church business, and I have to fight the urge to pick up the phone and bless him out. I try to get along for my husband's sake his whole family is CoC.

You are right to be worried about your children, and I hope that you find another church in a different denomination) soon and insist on taking them with you every other week. They can make their own minds up when they get old enough (really old enough; not 13 or so as demanded in the CofC). They can be saved from the mean-spirited, judgmental, hyper-legalistic, sour, grace-denying, misogynistic, Bible-worshipping Church of Christ. For their sake, I hope you can find a way to expose them to some realistic world-view and, if they need religion, a better and more loving and decent church experience.

Welcome to this board. You will find support and encouragement here.

My family has been CoC for generations. I'm now 61 years old, and one of my earliest memories as a very young child is of an angry man yelling and beating on the pulpit. If it had been ME yelling and beating on furniture, I would have been severely disciplined. This is just one example (out of many) of how I feel the CoC robbed me of a normal childhood. I have been attending the First Christian Church and am enjoying the grace-centered teaching.

I'm so happy you are out!