Preacher's Kid & F.C. Grad - grateful to be free!
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:56 am
I grew up in the coC - the hard-line non-institutional kind - three times a week, taking notes on my daddy's sermons. Most of them, I could still preach for him today, but of course, now I don't agree with the content, and they wouldn't let a woman in the pulpit anyway! I attended F.C. and passed all of my Bible classes with flying colors... I knew their doctrine inside and out, and I was proud that I could quote scripture to back it up. I believe that is part of why it has been so hard for me to look at the Scriptures with fresh eyes, ever since God's grace really touched my life.
God placed many people in my life who were Christlike, who inspired me by personifying Grace, but virtually none of those people were coC. I began to wonder, if my church has "the truth", why do these other people shine so brightly with God's light? And, how could they be believers without being scared that they would sin their way out of God's approval? It reminds me of the scripture that says "they will know we are Christians by our love". (not by our doctrinal and moral perfection) I still thank Him for those people, and I have found freedom and blessings as I moved away from the coC.
It has not been easy. I went through being "withdrawn from" a local church, but my heart was already elsewhere, and it only caused mild discomfort in my life. I guess the worst thing is that I still see hurt and disappointment in my parents' eyes, but after reading some posts on this site, I feel very fortunate, because they do not shun me or even try to preach at me anymore. I am sure that they mourn privately, and pray for me to be "restored", just as I did with them for other "fallen away" people, when I was growing up in their home. I do not feel a need to argue with them, or try to justify myself… They are elderly now, and I believe that when they pass from this life, and God's grace takes them into the arms of Jesus, they will open their eyes with full understanding, and know that I will join them there one day, and their mourning will be turned into elation. I guess you could say, I don't want to spoil the surprise! Of course, the real reason is that I know it would not do any good to try and convince them, and I don't want to waste our precious time together with conflict.
I have always loved the hymns, and I have learned to appreciate them in a new way, since being released from the daily fear of damnation. "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine", " When We All Get to Heaven", "Grace Greater than our Sin"... I am so grateful to understand them more fully. I continue to pray that God will also open my eyes more completely to the Scriptures, without having that old coC filter in my brain that demands they could only mean one thing. It still haunts me.
I have reconnected recently with some friends who were F.C.connections who have also left the coC. It is so encouraging to talk with people who understand the language, the doctrine and the inner struggle to be free. That is what prompted me to visit this site today, and post. I pray that everyone who has been hurt by the misguided people in the coC will allow God to lead them to a happier, more peaceful place in life. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.
God is Good!
God placed many people in my life who were Christlike, who inspired me by personifying Grace, but virtually none of those people were coC. I began to wonder, if my church has "the truth", why do these other people shine so brightly with God's light? And, how could they be believers without being scared that they would sin their way out of God's approval? It reminds me of the scripture that says "they will know we are Christians by our love". (not by our doctrinal and moral perfection) I still thank Him for those people, and I have found freedom and blessings as I moved away from the coC.
It has not been easy. I went through being "withdrawn from" a local church, but my heart was already elsewhere, and it only caused mild discomfort in my life. I guess the worst thing is that I still see hurt and disappointment in my parents' eyes, but after reading some posts on this site, I feel very fortunate, because they do not shun me or even try to preach at me anymore. I am sure that they mourn privately, and pray for me to be "restored", just as I did with them for other "fallen away" people, when I was growing up in their home. I do not feel a need to argue with them, or try to justify myself… They are elderly now, and I believe that when they pass from this life, and God's grace takes them into the arms of Jesus, they will open their eyes with full understanding, and know that I will join them there one day, and their mourning will be turned into elation. I guess you could say, I don't want to spoil the surprise! Of course, the real reason is that I know it would not do any good to try and convince them, and I don't want to waste our precious time together with conflict.
I have always loved the hymns, and I have learned to appreciate them in a new way, since being released from the daily fear of damnation. "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine", " When We All Get to Heaven", "Grace Greater than our Sin"... I am so grateful to understand them more fully. I continue to pray that God will also open my eyes more completely to the Scriptures, without having that old coC filter in my brain that demands they could only mean one thing. It still haunts me.
I have reconnected recently with some friends who were F.C.connections who have also left the coC. It is so encouraging to talk with people who understand the language, the doctrine and the inner struggle to be free. That is what prompted me to visit this site today, and post. I pray that everyone who has been hurt by the misguided people in the coC will allow God to lead them to a happier, more peaceful place in life. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.
God is Good!
