Revisiting "church"

[rehabber7]

My wife and I left the CoC a long time ago. I am still solid in my faith in Jesus the Christ, but I have recently gotten to the point that I am "done" with "church". Google it, and you will find that there are many of us. So many, that we have been give names, such as the dechurched or the dones.

Anyway, I am ready to challenge the whole way that we "do church". And along those lines, I have joined a different kind of group that provides for me much of what I was not able to find in church (of any denomination or style).

Let me go a little further with this. If any of you find this interesting at all, I would really appreciate some good discussion on this topic. I guess it's kind of my "new path".

I recently joined a "coaching" group. The idea is based on Napolean Hill's "mastermind group" from his book "Think and Grow Rich" (I need to actually read that book I guess). Anyway, this coaching group is based on coaching people in my particular entrapranuerial profession/business. The founder is a very successful businessman. And he's also a solid Christian. Anyway, this man became very successful in this particular area of business, and he was also teaching/coaching others on how to do this business. He made a lot of money but got to the point that his life sucked - too much stress, too many hours working, etc. So he changed his coaching model. He still coaches the nuts and bolts of the business, but he focuses on "life coaching", with the business being secondary.

I recently joined one of his groups. And, for me, it provides many of the things that I have always been missing in "church". I don't have the time to list all of the book/chapter/verse at the moment, but all of these things are Biblical principles. Such as:

1. Community/fellowship
2. Sharing one another's burdens
3. Praying for one another
4. Support and encouragement
5. Vision
6. Planning
7. Action
8. Improvement
9. Accountability (I know, this may throw up a red flag to some of you)
10. Older teaching the younger (or in this case, the more experienced teaching the less experienced)
11. And I'll probably think of more later and may come back and edit this.

We also have the opportunity in these groups to participate in what he refers to as a "faith call" (since we are a small group of people located all around the US, much of our stuff together is done by conference calls, group emails, (and one-one-one calls and emails) and webinars. (see, there's what I'm talking about with revisiting the "structure" of church and how we do it). Anyway, the faith call is sort of like a sermon I guess, where our lead coach discusses a Biblical topic, but it's much more interactive and responsive than a tradition church sermon. There are also many other phone calls available where people discuss various topics - some are business related, some are "life" related. We also have the opportunity to give financially and to go on mission trips together if we choose to (these mission trips are typically more service oriented). And we all meet together quarterly (again, we are scattered all around the US). And everything is voluntary. No one has to participate in any of the calls or the mission trips or giving.

Anyway, so far, I have made improvements in my own life in the following areas. Again, all (or most of them anyway) are things that could or should be happening in any given church. Biblical stuff. Christian growth kind of stuff.

1. Dealing with a difficult situation in my family and our marriage.
2. Supporting and helping my wife more as she deals with that difficult situation - serving her.
3. Improving my health (eating better, exercising more, losing weight) - my body is a temple.
4. Spending more time with my daughter and trying to improve our relationship.
5. Serving others (I have done several phone calls with other members of the group to help them in their businesses).
6. Spiritual - my personal coach is also a Christian and he is helping me to deal with an addiction that I need to overcome.
7. And probably others that I will think of later.
rehabber7

Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2015 9:01 pm

[Ivy]

If you're happy, I'm happy for you!!

[rehabber7]

Thank you Ivy

[ena]

My wife and I left the CoC a long time ago. I am still solid in my faith in Jesus the Christ, but I have recently gotten to the point that I am "done" with "church".

I am also pretty much done with Church. You can find God in many places besides church. I find I am more comfortable away.

[Gone4Good]

I'm really interested in hearing more about this. My journey out of the COC has lead me to some interesting churches over the past six years, but I'm finding more and more that I disagree with they way "church" is "done" in 21st century America. I haven't given up on my faith, but I don't necessarily believe in church anymore.

[margin overa]

I'm really interested in hearing more about this. My journey out of the COC has lead me to some interesting churches over the past six years, but I'm finding more and more that I disagree with they way "church" is "done" in 21st century America. I haven't given up on my faith, but I don't necessarily believe in church anymore.

I tend to enjoy liturgical services, but in general, I agree that "church" isn't something that I find very compelling anymore. And not just contemporary "church", but the general notion of church, as it has existed for a long time. Are these organizations really what Jesus had in mind? I don't think so. Even putting aside the notion of church as the CofC has defined it, the overall notion of Christian religious associations as they have existed in Europe or the Americas is problematic, I find.

[BlessedWifeAndMama]

I am new here, but the last few years have been taking a look at what is this thing I am doing for a couple of hours each week. It has been a phenomenal journey since questioning the traditions we hold on to and discovering so many are rooted not in 'the bible speaking so we speak and bible silent so we are silent' rather most are traditions as any other denomination, just with a different twist!

My spouse "left the church" a couple of years ago and in my desperate attempt to "get them to come back to the church" I was challenged with a variety of questions and in searching through the word of God it became clearer and clearer it is not about a "worship service" rather its about our life! Our laboring over others until the Messiah is fully formed in them, it's a daily exhorting, encouraging, carrying one anothers burdens so the deceitfulness of sin doesn't harden our hearts - it's functioning as a FAMILY! Since my "earthly" family isn't a family just 1-3 hours a week neither should my family which the Messiah promised of 100 mothers ,brothers & sisters...

Since I was raised in the coc it has been rather difficult to break free from what I was raised in - for being raised in the way we should go is true whether raised to walk the path of righteousness or to walk the paths of this world... All to say is I understand the "done with church" and how difficult of a road that is but also as we continue to seek our Creator how beautiful and full of peace this challenging road becomes!

[agricola]

Hi Blessed -
nice to see you here. Why don't you stop over at the Welcome forum and introduce yourself?

[BlessedWifeAndMama]

rehabber7... I was drawn to re-read your post and would love to have a discussion as you mentioned! Your comment about "rethinking the way we do church" really struck a cord as that seems to be the main issue as to why so many of us have had bad experiences with coc. The foundation seems to be off when our 'religious' life is centered around attending an event for an hour or two a week and occasionally the opportunity to speak up at a "class".

Many of the things you list about the coaching group remind me of things Paul speaks about regarding laboring over one another until the Messiah is fully formed not to mention the words of our Messiah in John: By this all men shall know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (john 13:35) Since I was challenged to re-think this "church thing" I have searched and searched to find scheduled weekly events, with pre-planned topics, speakers etc... well couldn't find any, rather I found:

1 Cor 14 - How is it brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification...

1 Cor 12 speaking of the body parts needing the other parts

Hebrews 3:12-15 Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, while it is said: “Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

When seeing those it brought an entirely new perspective to Hebrews 10:24-25 about not forsaking assembling ourselves together... it is NOT speaking of going to some event - rather we are to join and knit our lives together and even MORE so as we see the day approaching... What we have been doing is a piling a bunch of car parts in the garage and telling everyone we have a Mercedes in the garage, when in fact all we have are a bunch of pieces of metal in a giant pile - unless those parts are bolted together down to the last little washer it's not a functioning car! We have not been the church - ekklesia - that group of people called out of this world functioning as 100 mothers, brothers and sisters! (Mark 10) Rather we have been a group of people sitting on pews barely knowing the ones next to us, well that is if we allow anyone to sit on "our pew"...

It's interesting how many organizations understand the need for coaches, mentors etc.. And how effective it is having others hold us accountable, leading us through difficult challenges (isn't that exactly what is spoken of regarding elders? They are to be leading us with their example and counseling, coaching us through lifes difficulties? or even heb 3 addresses that) But it's not surprising since throughout the word of God we are encouraged to "follow" the Messiah, Paul or others who have walked the path...

So are you thinking this coaching organization is a replacement for being a member of the ekklesia? Or are you looking at the pattern of the coaching organization - I wasn't quite understanding what you were getting at