Church Hymns (and Hers) That Got on Your Nerves

[GuitarHero]

Do you guys remember the incredibly racist and offensive lost verse to "Jesus Loves Me"??

Jesus loves the little Indian boy
Bow and arrow for his toy
Big Filipino, little Chinee
Living far across the sea
Yes, Jesus loves them!

Oy...

[NeverAgain]

One that always amused me (but not really annoyed me) went:

"There's within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,
in all of life's ebb and flow.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go."

If ever there was a song meant for a barbershop quartet, this is it.

[Ashes]

I have always hated "I'm the One" so much!

It was led about twice a month for at least a year, and my friends and I would cringe every time the song leader called out 604. To this day, I get a little shiver when I see 6:04 on the digital clock, as if it's a bad omen.

[Struggler]

Do you guys remember the incredibly racist and offensive lost verse to "Jesus Loves Me"??

Jesus loves the little Indian boy
Bow and arrow for his toy
Big Filipino, little Chinee
Living far across the sea
Yes, Jesus loves them!

Oy...

I think I heard someone sing that once. Several verses have been "added" to that one over the years. We usually did only the first verse in Sunday School if we sang at all. Children's songs weren't often sung in services because we were supposed to be "Serious."

[Ashes]

One that always amused me (but not really annoyed me) went:

"There's within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,
in all of life's ebb and flow.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
sweetest name I know,
fills my every longing,
keeps me singing as I go."

If ever there was a song meant for a barbershop quartet, this is it.

LOL!

I can hear the barbershop harmony now. I always heard it more like a hoedown, along with "He Bore It All" ; that tune is completely inappropriate for the lyrics.

[Texas Longhorn]

Thanks for getting "Power in the Blood" stuck in my head! "There is powww-rr wonder workin powww-rr...."

[Miss40+]

I can hear the barbershop harmony now. I always heard it more like a hoedown, along with "He Bore It All" ; that tune is completely inappropriate for the lyrics.

He Bore It All. Sounded like a carnival song, or like an actual merry-go-round.......it was a song that no matter who led it, the congregation could NOT sing it. It was UNSINGABLE. We used to have a Sunday every few months that was devoted to learning new songs. He Bore It All was often on the roster, even though it wasn't new. I think TPTB thought the song sounded bad because of the song leader. Without fail, the song leader would give the instructions to singing it, we would practice difficult phrases, the we would sing it in its"entirety". WITHOUT FAIL, IT WAS A TRAIN WRECK. At the end of the song, folks would be shooting looks of blame at the song leader, the song leader would be staring at us like we were "tarded" and I just wanted to stand up and scream "ENOUGH! NO MORE! IT'S NOT US, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S....THE....SONG! "

[Miss40+]

we had a very earnest young man who loved to lead singing. Folks thought he was good at it, and everyone was sure to let him know after services. This baffled me, because, if you were to have put a stick that was illuminated, his hand, nay, whole arm, motions were that of an air traffic landing guide. He had the oddest way of swinging his arms , he would make fists and have his arms straight out, then bend up at the elbow, then swing both arms extended out to the sides....grand, plane guiding gestures like that. When he was up there leading, I would be thinking, "my god, is he guiding an aircraft to a safe landing? Is a Cessna going to swoop in through the doors and come gliding down the aisle and stop before hitting the baptistry?. He even ended songs with a "halt" flat palm gesture.

[MusicMan826]

we had a very earnest young man who loved to lead singing. Folks thought he was good at it, and everyone was sure to let him know after services. This baffled me, because, if you were to have put a stick that was illuminated, his hand, nay, whole arm, motions were that of an air traffic landing guide. He had the oddest way of swinging his arms , he would make fists and have his arms straight out, then bend up at the elbow, then swing both arms extended out to the sides....grand, plane guiding gestures like that. When he was up there leading, I would be thinking, "my god, is he guiding an aircraft to a safe landing? Is a Cessna going to swoop in through the doors and come gliding down the aisle and stop before hitting the baptistry?. He even ended songs with a "halt" flat palm gesture.

Hahaha! Just picturing that is making me bust out laughing. We had a few who would swing their arms around in an exaggerated fashion. It seemed that the more you swung your arm around, the better people thought you were at leading singing, whether or not you could hold a tune in a bucket.

[Ramblin' Jack]

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