Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Sonya wrote:My Mom still keeps drilling into me how vengeful he is, and how afraid she is for my salvation. I wish she could be happy, but I have never seen my Mom truly happy and not afraid of everything. It's sad.

That is a sad one. It is hard to understand how grace can be so mistakenly conceptualized by the CofC. I am sorry your Mom lives in that bondage and hope one day she is freed of it.

Sonya

One approach may be to say, "Mom, I love you. If you bring up this topic, I will hang up, leave the room, leave the get-together, etc. We can talk about other things, but not this." And then do that a few times, and see if that makes a difference. Some parents will choose to spend time with their children, and others will not. So she will be the one who chooses to spend time with you or not.

You didn't mention if you are still a Christian or not. If you are, and if you think your Mom might be willing to listen, there are a series of very short articles written by an elder in the CoC (now deceased) that might help your Mom worry less about your salvation. You can type in a search word and bring up articles on that topic.

https://edwardfudge.com/2016/11/our-pat ... hristians/

https://edwardfudge.com/2016/11/pattern ... ns-part-2/

https://edwardfudge.com/2012/02/the-churchs-pattern-1/

I am sorry you had that experience. I don't know which FB group that is, but I'm also involved in an ex C of C Facebook group. Not everyone agrees on things, that's for sure.
I also don't think it's causing drama to leave a group. You have the right to leave, and the right to say why. I know it's called "flouncing" in some groups but people need to know why a person is discontent. Some of these groups get smaller and smaller until everyone is gone.

Also, I sent you a PM.

I understand your concern. I joined a FB ex-cofc group once and soon left because it was focused at the time on negativity toward people in another online ex-cofc group. This is exactly
what we, as exers, don't need.

I've also seen a tendency that people who are Ex C of C will join Facebook groups for people who are currently members of C of C, simply to argue with them. Sure, they can do this, but I think it is pointless. Why waste the time?

faithfyl wrote:I've also seen a tendency that people who are Ex C of C will join Facebook groups for people who are currently members of C of C, simply to argue with them. Sure, they can do this, but I think it is pointless. Why waste the time?

I think that's quite rude. If the group is for coc members, let them talk and discuss things without your ex-coc perspective. If the group advertises being open to coc AND non-coc, then go ahead and engage if you want.

I'm on some homeschooling groups. It would be silly for someone to come on one of those groups to say we should all send our kids to public school. That would also get them kicked out pretty quickly. Now the public schoolers that come on there just wanting information to teach their kids at home after school (sometimes called "afterschooling") are more than welcome on such groups.

Shrubbery wrote:

faithfyl wrote:I've also seen a tendency that people who are Ex C of C will join Facebook groups for people who are currently members of C of C, simply to argue with them. Sure, they can do this, but I think it is pointless. Why waste the time?

I think that's quite rude. If the group is for coc members, let them talk and discuss things without your ex-coc perspective. If the group advertises being open to coc AND non-coc, then go ahead and engage if you want.

I'm on some homeschooling groups. It would be silly for someone to come on one of those groups to say we should all send our kids to public school. That would also get them kicked out pretty quickly. Now the public schoolers that come on there just wanting information to teach their kids at home after school (sometimes called "afterschooling") are more than welcome on such groups.

Yeah, it's more or less trolling to go into a group for certain like-minded individuals and start hammering away at their ideology. The C of C is shrinking even without anyone doing all that.