Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

agricola wrote:Eventually the elders and deacons made up a little home kit thing, and if someone was sick (and called the elders), a little delegation would go visit them and give them the crackers and grape juice at home.

The "little delegation" also smuggled the "kit thing" to members who were sick in hospitals ... can't take a chance of missing the communion even one Sunday!

illuminator wrote:Why didn't they just come up with a drive thru window for communion? "Yes, I have a BOGO coupon for communion." "Would you like to super-size your order?" "No, thanks." "Lay by as you've been prospered at the first window."

Certainly can't afford to miss the opportunity to pass the contribution plate, and by traditional law it's the last item on the agenda ... everything has to be done decently and in order ya know!

My mom hesitated to put in membership at one CoC because the wafers came in a square sheet with perforations to make them easier to break, so the communion preppers always broke them all up before the plates were prayed over. The plates were full of a hundred-odd tiny squares no bigger than Chiclets.

She joined, eventually, but always insisted on breaking her wafer when the plate was passed to her. (Because salvation.) It took her a couple of months of Sundays to figure out how to do it without obliterating the other half of the wafer.

She always left that half in there for someone who couldn't break the wafer but maybe didn't want a whole one.

Some Catholic place years ago had a drive thru confession story/joke. There is a place now that offers a drive thru nativity...get the entire story of Jesus in 20 minutes at a sequence of stops...maybe it is like stations of the cross but in your car?


Here is a satire version of the Catholic drive thru from "Eye of the Tiber"
http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2013/01/05 ... al-parish/

...You drive up to a menu with a list of all types of sins and combo sins, and you just tell the priest which number or numbers you did on the menu. No chit-chat, no nothing. I remember I told him I committed a number four super-sized, and he asked me to please drive forward...

groan....idioms!!! 'break bread' means EAT DINNER.

agricola wrote:groan....idioms!!! 'break bread' means EAT DINNER.

Makes me wonder about when literary analysts in 1000 years read our idioms about "more than one way to skin a cat" or "now the shoe is on the other foot," etc. They'll come up with some kooky ideas of what our culture is all about for sure, especially whoever dives into a study of early 21st century Cockney rhyming slang.

Lev

agricola wrote:groan....idioms!!! 'break bread' means EAT DINNER.

Ooh, I've actually always wondered what that actually meant.

ramennoodles wrote:

agricola wrote:groan....idioms!!! 'break bread' means EAT DINNER.

Ooh, I've actually always wondered what that actually meant.

Actually, it's very difficult to munch on a crispy cracker without breaking it with our teeth! Amazing how CoC traditions have become etched in stone.

My parents' church don't use crackers, they use those communion kits with those... I think they're supposed to be some sort of cracker, but it tastes like cardboard and the only way for me to eat it without it getting into my teeth is to let my saliva dissolve it and swallow it instead.

It's actually amazing someone managed to create something that seems to defy all the laws of edible food and still somehow be edible.

It's called 'matzo' and it is Jewish 'unleavened bread' (and you are right, it tastes awful).

IF - I do mean IF - you believe the 'Last Supper' was a Passover seder, then Jesus and the apostles would have been eating 'unleavened bread', however, at that time it was probably more like soft pita bread or naan than like matzo.

Over the centuries, the process of making kosher for Passover matzo has become more and more strict, until we are stuck with the flat dry tasteless crackers we know and theoretically love today.

However - sliced bread wasn't invented (as a commercial product) until really recently (only about eighty years ago I believe).Before that - and for centuries and centuries - people would get together for a meal, say a blessing, and everyone would grab hold of the BIG LOAF of bread and PULL on it and 'BREAK' the bread. If you were fairly poor, your entire meal might consist of only your 'daily bread', and maybe some fat or grease to wipe up with it.

So 'breaking bread' involved sitting at the same table, and eating together.

(they also didn't have packaged yeast - instead they had 'starter', or they let their flour and water mix sit until it started to bubble and grow from the wild yeast that floats around in the air (it does that). The Israelites had 'unleavened bread' at Passover because they were in a HURRY and didn't have time to let the bread rise, but just slapped some flour and water together and cooked it (probably on hot rocks around a fire) in a hurry.

That's about what's done now making matzo: mix flour with water, roll it out flat (so it will cook faster) and cook it - fast. To be 'kosher for Passover' it has to go from flour to cooked in under 18 minutes. The holes in the flat wafer are made to help it cook faster (and stay flat).

It has a couple of other names - it is the Bread of Freedom - and also the Bread of Affliction (and Poverty), which is more descriptive.


Actually, a whole lot of churches buy their 'communion bread' from Manishewitz or Streitz. Alas, Streitz is going out of business soon. I get my kosher for Passover matzo from Amazon - I can get Israeli brands, which are a bit tastier (not very much).

Good news! Put the fun back into communion! Google matzo under shopping ...

There's now Whole Wheat Matzo, Lightly Salted, Egg & Onion, Chocolate Flavored ...

And my favorite ... BRAN! You know, in case you're not getting enough ... um, "fiber" from coc doctrine!