Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Have any of you experienced love or have good memories from the church? As I am reading some of the older posts it seems there is alot of resentment and hurt from experiences in the coC. I've experienced my share of pain to a degree. Yes I have my doubts about the doctrines and aggravations towards the way members act, however I've also seen a lot of love. I amazed at how well we serve each other, show true dedication, love each other through difficult times, and encourage one other. The congregation i"m at right now has done a great job of this. Although I may not have always been on the receiving end of these positive attributes, its good to see it shared amongst the fellow bretheren. I"m sorry for those who have experienced trauma from family members or members of this church due to conflicting beliefs. Its not the way God intended.

Oh sure. I've shared before that I had no particular problems with the people of the church, by and large. It was the teachings that simply drove me off.

Our preacher when I was a kid, for instance - he stayed at that church over 20 years until he retired and the church scraped up enough to give him a house to live in and a pension, which couldn't have been easy - he was the nicest kindest man anyone could ever hope for. His sons, too, were just like him: super nice people. I have friends now who never left the church and we are still friends - we don't have nearly as much in common, but we are still close friends.

This seems to be kind of 'church specific', in that some churches (congregations) are well adjusted enough, but others are toxic.

I really don't have any really bad memories about the people. There was one time some guy got up and said "That's wrong!" when we were having a discussion in a bible class about the holy ghost. I can't even remember what we were discussing about him. A bunch of people told him to "Shhhhhh. he is a guest" and he quieted down. I figured he was just the church [derogatory term] and thought nothing more of it.

That is one of things I've liked about this church overall. Its certainly not always practiced, however, its one of the characteristics that seem to stand out against other denominations. I'm not sure if any of you are attending a church now. If you are, do you see this same type of service displayed amongst the members?

kneedeep wrote:That is one of things I've liked about this church overall. Its certainly not always practiced, however, its one of the characteristics that seem to stand out against other denominations. I'm not sure if any of you are attending a church now. If you are, do you see this same type of service displayed amongst the members?

I have seen great love and support in some United Methodist churches. I think many churches do this well.

The problem with all the love at my old COCs was that it was conditional. The minute I left, it was all cut off. I was then an outcast. Yes, I lost a lot of friends and it hurt like crazy. Leaving was the right thing for me, despite that pain.

Most of the people that I dealt with in the COC are good, kindhearted folks. I bit judgmental in some ways, but also generous and loving.
I never had a problem with seeing people treat me or others badly. Nothing that dramatic! It was the beliefs and doctrines that led to my departure.

Glad you guys had positive experiences with the members. As long as you are in the club they will love you. Its sad that most of these relationships deterioate so quickly due to opposing beliefs.

kneedeep wrote:Glad you guys had positive experiences with the members. As long as you are in the club they will love you. Its sad that most of these relationships deterioate so quickly due to opposing beliefs.

yes alternate or opposing beliefs is a big problem for lots of folks and not just religion

There were many good loving people in the cofC which I have known over the years. One of the problems, though, was that once you asked the wrong question or expressed even an implied dissent from the party line, some of the most "loving" people did a complete Jekyll and Hyde on you. There were a few (VERY few) who maintained a genuine attitude of love despite our differences. They were the ones actually saddened to see us go. Many made it clear they were glad we left since they didn't want troublemakers. Maybe that's why now I am a little skeptical of people's affection and overtures of kindness to me. I doubt their sincerity since I have seen how so many cofC'ers practice a conditional love which I did not realize until it was put to the test.

Love is the most vital aspect of Christianity. It's also one of the first things that religious fanatics forget. My luck with love & the CoC wasn't very good. One of the reasons that I joined it was because I've always been lonely. I thought that if I got in with God's people that I wouldn't be lonely anymore. So... I joined the CoC when I was about 20 years old. The people seemed nice. They were good about coming up and shaking my hand and asking me how I was. But that was about it. It seemed rather superficial. It took some time to see that any love that they may have ever had was entirely conditional on whether one was a member in good standing. To me that wasn't love at all. Fortunately I wasn't raised in the CoC. My family can be crude and earthy, but their love is true. I didn't have much luck making close friends in the CoC because they weren't a people that one could get close to. So running away from them was easy. I was even lonelier when I tried to fit in with the CoCers. I'm still 'alone in the universe' in my mid 50s and when I realize what kind of society we are it suits me fine.