Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

How much self-hatred does it take to make it in the Church of Christ??? And at what point did it become too much???

evolvingsight wrote:How much self-hatred does it take to make it in the Church of Christ??? And at what point did it become too much???

Unfortunately in many coc's the culture can be one that encourages a great deal of highly disfunctional behaviors. Some people never reach the breaking point, others of us do. Church and family distinction were factors (but not the only ones) that help get me to the "too much" stage.

I see this is your first post. Welcome!

Thank you Letmethink.

James Fowler's book Stages of Faith offers some reasons why people change their beliefs both in positive & negative ways. Fowler also offers reason why some leave the faith.

I'm currently reading David Fitzgerald's book Mything In Action. He notes people that study the Bible the hardest are often the ones that leave the faith, because they become familiar with the Bible's endless flaws, inconsistences, & contradictions.

Indoctrination is a basic tactic for all religions. Getting deprogrammed, and everything that goes with that, is a difficult and lengthy process.

Cootie Brown wrote: Indoctrination is a basic tactic for all religions. Getting deprogrammed, and everything that goes with that, is a difficult and lengthy process.

That is very true... To the point of emotional fatigue.

By the time I walked away from the conservative coc, I was emotionally and mentally spent. I had already been experiencing cognitive dissonance between what the church was doing and what I believed the Bible writers to be saying before family issues arose, associated with the coc, that added to the discomfort.

Before every Sunday and Wednesday service, I felt like I had to try to build myself up mentally for the inevitable drain I would feel when I got there.

Change happens when the status quo becomes more painful than change. My status quo become too much to continue.

People that have been indoctrinated are usually not aware they've been brainwashed. They are essentially programmed robots but they aren't aware they've been programmed. Indoctrination is often interpreted as conviction. Awareness of the indoctrination is often preceded by doubt, emotional discomfort, & a growing awareness of cognitive dissonance.

Those warning signs will sometimes motivate people to seek reasons for their discomfort, but not always. Some just accept their situation & learn to live with it. Getting deprogrammed is difficult because the programmed beliefs are deeply ingrained as is the fear of punishment if those beliefs are challenged much less abandoned.

It takes a lot of courage & time to challenge deeply programmed beliefs & many simply cannot do it. The fear of loss is simply greater than the desire for freedom. That is why religions survival is pretty much guaranteed.

Cootie Brown wrote:People that have been indoctrinated are usually not aware they've been brainwashed. They are essentially programmed robots but they aren't aware they've been programmed. Indoctrination is often interpreted as conviction. Awareness of the indoctrination is often preceded by doubt, emotional discomfort, & a growing awareness of cognitive dissonance.

Those warning signs will sometimes motivate people to seek reasons for their discomfort, but not always. Some just accept their situation & learn to live with it. Getting deprogrammed is difficult because the programmed beliefs are deeply ingrained as is the fear of punishment if those beliefs are challenged much less abandoned.

It takes a lot of courage & time to challenge deeply programmed beliefs & many simply cannot do it. The fear of loss is simply greater than the desire for freedom. That is why religions survival is pretty much guaranteed.

All quite true... I've been out nearly 40 years and I still have issues.

evolvingsight wrote:

Cootie Brown wrote:People that have been indoctrinated are usually not aware they've been brainwashed. They are essentially programmed robots but they aren't aware they've been programmed. Indoctrination is often interpreted as conviction. Awareness of the indoctrination is often preceded by doubt, emotional discomfort, & a growing awareness of cognitive dissonance.

Those warning signs will sometimes motivate people to seek reasons for their discomfort, but not always. Some just accept their situation & learn to live with it. Getting deprogrammed is difficult because the programmed beliefs are deeply ingrained as is the fear of punishment if those beliefs are challenged much less abandoned.

It takes a lot of courage & time to challenge deeply programmed beliefs & many simply cannot do it. The fear of loss is simply greater than the desire for freedom. That is why religions survival is pretty much guaranteed.

All quite true... I've been out nearly 40 years and I still have issues.

I am fortunate to have over come my indoctrination but it has taken years of study & researching the historical origins & evolution of both the Bible & the Christian Faith. I can verify what history records is very very different from what apologists say happened & how they say scripture should be interpreted.

evolvingsight wrote:How much self-hatred does it take to make it in the Church of Christ??? And at what point did it become too much???

Welcome, evolving. And I have to tell you, for some reason your very forthright post almost made me spew my coffee on my keyboard!!! I loved it!! And it also made me think......did I loathe myself as a cofc member? Was it really self hatred that I was experiencing? Is that what led me to pretty much dive off the deep end and put myself in myriad kinds of danger when beginning my lengthy exit (unbeknownst to me) as a teen / young adult?

Something to think about.