Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Not sure if it's appropriate to talk about this but I remember when I was about 21 in the Coc. I was still a virgin. Then one day at a Bible study out of nowhere I was told with one or two other younger guys that we shouldn't masturbate. I remember thinking to myself how impossible this will be, I am going to hell. After all these years later I am still wondering why this even came up? At the same time they were pressuring us to date "unsaved" girls and bring them to Church. I was shy with girls but they kept pressuring me that I should be on the hunt for girls that I meet at School and be bringing them to Bible study or Church. But then at the same time somehow I was going to curb my 21 year old hormones. This all just came back to me now. I can only guess that they were trying to build the Church membership. I remember them talking about the tree and bearing fruit and we needed to bear fruit by bringing people into the church. I remember thinking that if by chance I was able to get one of these girls to come to Church with me I was really going to be more focused of bearing fruit "with" them. It was easier for me to get the Jewish club to come to Bible study then to get a date with a girl. I actually did that. Now that I look back on this it really was alot of pressure to endure at that age.

This issue can be a hard one but the rewards great. There is no shame in virginity. My daughter is 41 has two daughters and is happu in her Marriage. My son once had a thing for Asians. I have a half Asian-white grandson. Many beautiful people can come out of this mix My weakness was for blondes but that changes over time. Different people like many different things and the results can be surprising. I did not find dating difficult. You do have to ask while risking rejection. Different women are attracted to different things. I have a male friend that has a good sense of humor. He attracts many women. Not with good looks but humor. Women are safe around him and feel safe. There are stages in life and I am now older and married. Breeding age does have more concerns. Sexual tools are just that. Masturbation is a tool. I pity the person that does not develop a full set of tools. Sex when properly used is a blessing from God.

Scott wrote:Not sure if it's appropriate to talk about this but I remember when I was about 21 in the Coc. I was still a virgin. Then one day at a Bible study out of nowhere I was told with one or two other younger guys that we shouldn't masturbate. I remember thinking to myself how impossible this will be, I am going to hell. After all these years later I am still wondering why this even came up? At the same time they were pressuring us to date "unsaved" girls and bring them to Church. I was shy with girls but they kept pressuring me that I should be on the hunt for girls that I meet at School and be bringing them to Bible study or Church. But then at the same time somehow I was going to curb my 21 year old hormones. This all just came back to me now. I can only guess that they were trying to build the Church membership. I remember them talking about the tree and bearing fruit and we needed to bear fruit by bringing people into the church. I remember thinking that if by chance I was able to get one of these girls to come to Church with me I was really going to be more focused of bearing fruit "with" them. It was easier for me to get the Jewish club to come to Bible study then to get a date with a girl. I actually did that. Now that I look back on this it really was alot of pressure to endure at that age.

Interesting, at my church I remember the preacher discouraging dating outside the coc by saying something like this: "I don't understand why anyone would marry someone who is not a member of the church!"

Marriage to a non believer was frowned upon. They were using this as a recruiting tool. I assume once the girls were converted then marriage would be tolerated. We were expected to bring at least one non believer to Wednesday Bible study, male or female. Once you came alone for a few Wednesday's in a row then the whole tree and fruit thing would be taught. "If you are not bearing fruit then you must be a dead branch" "Dead branches will be pruned from the tree". This is bringing up some bad memories for me, I was always worried about not having anyone to bring. I am not sure but I think this was learned from the Boston Church of Christ. I remember some members who had issues with Boston Church of Christ teachings. Something about Crossroads? From what I remember the Boston Church of Christ was very successful with recruiting methods and they were trying to duplicate that. Anyway it backfired because a good chunk of the members split off and joined another Church of Christ in the area. Now I realize that it wasn't just my general sins that made me leave it was also the pressure to perform.

Oh yes, Boston coc aka crossroads movement/International coc turned the coc world upside down. I'm from Southern California, and I remember a girl at one of my churches went to live in Northern California for college and got involved with the crossroads movement. My home church was devastated. But back to the topic, I don't remember hearing anything about masturbation, but I do remember the pressure to invite someone to church. I was able to get a few people to come over the years, but I remember soaking up the praise I received from the members because I had a visitor. It's sad. Forget about God, just invite someone so you can get brownie points! (to go along with your attendance points)

bnot wrote:Interesting, at my church I remember the preacher discouraging dating outside the coc by saying something like this: "I don't understand why anyone would marry someone who is not a member of the church!"

Many reasons. I found nothing useful from the CoC about sex or girls. In fact I found the opposite. I left the church before I married. I found many women outside the church more interesting. Fewer sexual hang ups. I don't think people should go hog wild. There are diseases and pregnancy to consider even today. An invisible strain of human papillomavirus causes cervical cancer in women and anal cancer in gay males. There still is no cure for genital herpes. Contraception does not always work. A stable marriage relationship remains the best way. That has been my lot for 43 years. I have not reached outside. It's too risky when you enjoy children and grand children.

Scott wrote: This is bringing up some bad memories for me, I was always worried about not having anyone to bring.

Sorry for that but betraying a friend is worse. The church split is one of the hallmarks of the contentious Church of Christ. It has happened many times. Character assassination is commonplace. That is also a hallmark. You have just been handed a loosing game and told you lost. It is a set up. If you win you lose. If you lose you lose. Where you win is by leaving the situation. Don't give them the power. They have only what you give them.

A hand is a wonderful mate.

It doesn't argue with you or smart alick you.

It feeds you.

It's always willing to have sex with you.

A hand is a wonderful thing.

And most of all the hand never files for divorce or wants to go spend your hard earned money.

B.H. wrote:A hand is a wonderful mate.

It doesn't argue with you or smart alick you.

It feeds you.

It's always willing to have sex with you.

A hand is a wonderful thing.

And most of all the hand never files for divorce or wants to go spend your hard earned money.

BH call it mother thumb and her four sisters.