Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Do you all remember being taught "JOY"??:

1) Love "Jesus" first
2) "Others" second
3) "Yourself" last

Just about any psychotherapist I think will say that is a doomsday scenario for your sanity....because you essentially snuff yourself out like a cigarette....

The healthier self-respecting/self-preserving mindset is "GIN"....

1) "God" loved and loves me in spite of myself/as I am/because of who I am
2) Therefore, "I" can love myself/be friends with myself/be forgiving to myself even when I screw up
3) "Now" I can better understand and be empowered to go out and love others with some degree of sincerity/genuineness

What do you all think?

Are you trying to encourage drinking?

Shrubbery wrote:Are you trying to encourage drinking?

I think it depends on context. Sacrificing for others and doing things to help others...even sacrificing some convenience and a bit of money/time for others is in a sense putting others ahead of yourself is good, fulfilling and makes you feel better and can be very good for your own self.

But sure....there are situations where you have to put your own air mask on before you assist others with their air mask.


I think it is just context.

SolaDude wrote:Do you all remember being taught "JOY"??:

1) Love "Jesus" first
2) "Others" second
3) "Yourself" last

Just about any psychotherapist I think will say that is a doomsday scenario for your sanity....because you essentially snuff yourself out like a cigarette....

Correct because you must care for yourself to be able to help others. Everything must be balanced. If you are wounded you cannot help but need to be carried from the field tying up others. The lack of personal care in my CoC was obvious. The problem as I see it was the endless harping about water baptism from the pulpit did not engender personal growth. The constant making one feel guilty for sins even non sins left the membership helpless to function. All aimed at getting the baptized baptized again? The results were Baby Christians that never grew up. Some were even church leaders. I hope I caught what you were getting at.

The reason I would not go to the Church of Christ is that the atmosphere had all the joy of a constant funeral for Jesus. I do not enjoy funerals. Please note that most churches use an empty cross as a symbol. This is because he is risen. Those that went though the reformation made that change to the crucifix. You should be grateful for those that fought for the right to read a English Bible. Even some gratitude should go to the Catholic and Orthodox churches for preserving early manuscripts.

I am not here much but liked what you were getting at. The first thing I had trouble with was getting in touch with my own feelings, This is probably a common problem with children raised in the Church. There is a lot of suppression and oppression.

The idea of deferring to others and being a doormat was part of the theology. Now, they didn't say it like that, but that is how we were taught.
There is no joy in that.

ena wrote:

SolaDude wrote:Do you all remember being taught "JOY"??:

1) Love "Jesus" first
2) "Others" second
3) "Yourself" last

Just about any psychotherapist I think will say that is a doomsday scenario for your sanity....because you essentially snuff yourself out like a cigarette....

Correct because you must care for yourself to be able to help others. Everything must be balanced. If you are wounded you cannot help but need to be carried from the field tying up others. The lack of personal care in my CoC was obvious. The problem as I see it was the endless harping about water baptism from the pulpit did not engender personal growth. The constant making one feel guilty for sins even non sins left the membership helpless to function. All aimed at getting the baptized baptized again? The results were Baby Christians that never grew up. Some were even church leaders. I hope I caught what you were getting at.

The reason I would not go to the Church of Christ is that the atmosphere had all the joy of a constant funeral for Jesus. I do not enjoy funerals. Please note that most churches use an empty cross as a symbol. This is because he is risen. Those that went though the reformation made that change to the crucifix. You should be grateful for those that fought for the right to read a English Bible. Even some gratitude should go to the Catholic and Orthodox churches for preserving early manuscripts.

I am not here much but liked what you were getting at. The first thing I had trouble with was getting in touch with my own feelings, This is probably a common problem with children raised in the Church. There is a lot of suppression and oppression.

Thank you for your comments Ena...they are right on and helpful for me personally....

Struggler wrote:The idea of deferring to others and being a doormat was part of the theology. Now, they didn't say it like that, but that is how we were taught.
There is no joy in that.

That's a memorable picture, Struggler, that I will internalize....that's what to me is so valuable to boards like this, they help clarify what you are thinking and trying to verbalize yourself, helping to "put it into words".....and then to better deal with it....