Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Some of you may know Bro Gary Collie. We agreed to a Bible study with him 1978 and that was how we ended up in the c of C. Bro Collie is an old time by the book c of C preacher.

I swear the man looks exactly like Ichabod Crane, but his wife, Maggie, is absolutely beautiful. I don’t know how he convinced her to marry him. Bro Collie is the only man I’ve ever met that absolutely had the Bible memorized from cover to cover.

My wife’s boss arranged for this Bible study. My wife was a cradle Southern Baptist and I’d become a Baptist too. After our Bible study we were baptized at the congregation where Bro Collie was preaching and where my wife’s boss and his wife attend.

My wife’s boss name is John and he wanted us to worship at that same congregation with him and his wife Loretta, at least for awhile. A few months passed and we had been invited to John and Loretta’s home after Sunday evening services for dessert, coffee, and just to talk.

Bro Collier had not been the minister at that congregation for very long. John was a Deacon and he told us about the job interview Bro Collie had with the Elders and Deacons. They went through the normal questions and then ask Maggie if she had any hobbies. “Oh yes”, she said, “I love to garden.” One of the Elders asked her what she liked best about gardening.

“I love to hoe”, she replied, “In fact, I’m a great hoe-er.” And that sounded like she said “I’m a great whore!” to everyone in the room. Bro Collier hollered out, “MAGGIE! What did you just say?”

One of the Elders interrupted and said, “Never mind Bro Collier, I’m sure we all under stood what she meant.”

My first experience at preparing the Lords table. I was asked to fill the cups with grape juice. I'd never done this before and told the person helping me that I had never done it before. They assured me it was simple. They showed me where the cups were kept and the trays. I asked where the grape juice was kept and was told in the refrigerator in the kitchen.

That refrigerator was used by other classes and mothers day out. I came in early that Sunday and got everything prepared. I went to the kitchen and opened the door. A large container of purple liquid was sitting right out on the front shelf.

I filled the cups and everything was ready. After the service several people noted that the grape juice tasted funny. The person in charge asked me where I got the grape juice and I told them. They asked did use the Welch's Grape Juice jar at the back of the fridge. "Ah, no. I used the big jar that was in the front that was filled with grape juice." "Did it say Welch's Grape Juice on the jar?" "Ah, no, it was just a clear jar."

My "trainer" smiled and said, "That was grape Kool-aid for mothers day out." Strangely enough I wasn't asked to prepare the Lords Table again for several years.

Cootie Brown wrote:My first experience at preparing the Lords table. I was asked to fill the cups with grape juice. I'd never done this before and told the person helping me that I had never done it before. They assured me it was simple. They showed me where the cups were kept and the trays. I asked where the grape juice was kept and was told in the refrigerator in the kitchen.

That refrigerator was used by other classes and mothers day out. I came in early that Sunday and got everything prepared. I went to the kitchen and opened the door. A large container of purple liquid was sitting right out on the front shelf.

I filled the cups and everything was ready. After the service several people noted that the grape juice tasted funny. The person in charge asked me where I got the grape juice and I told them. They asked did use the Welch's Grape Juice jar at the back of the fridge. "Ah, no. I used the big jar that was in the front that was filled with grape juice." "Did it say Welch's Grape Juice on the jar?" "Ah, no, it was just a clear jar."

My "trainer" smiled and said, "That was grape Kool-aid for mothers day out." Strangely enough I wasn't asked to prepare the Lords Table again for several years.

“...and the whole congregation drank the kool-aid”

Letmethink wrote:“...and the whole congregation drank the kool-aid”

I guess next Cootie would have replaced the unleavened bread with CAKE.

Letmethink wrote:

Cootie Brown wrote:My first experience at preparing the Lords table. I was asked to fill the cups with grape juice. I'd never done this before and told the person helping me that I had never done it before. They assured me it was simple. They showed me where the cups were kept and the trays. I asked where the grape juice was kept and was told in the refrigerator in the kitchen.

That refrigerator was used by other classes and mothers day out. I came in early that Sunday and got everything prepared. I went to the kitchen and opened the door. A large container of purple liquid was sitting right out on the front shelf.

I filled the cups and everything was ready. After the service several people noted that the grape juice tasted funny. The person in charge asked me where I got the grape juice and I told them. They asked did use the Welch's Grape Juice jar at the back of the fridge. "Ah, no. I used the big jar that was in the front that was filled with grape juice." "Did it say Welch's Grape Juice on the jar?" "Ah, no, it was just a clear jar."

My "trainer" smiled and said, "That was grape Kool-aid for mothers day out." Strangely enough I wasn't asked to prepare the Lords Table again for several years.

“...and the whole congregation drank the kool-aid”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Best story EVER!!!!! Except for the Peter story.

Cootie Brown wrote: My "trainer" smiled and said, "That was grape Kool-aid for mothers day out." Strangely enough I wasn't asked to prepare the Lords Table again for several years.

Good one! I think that we should follow Christ's example partake communion with wine on a Wednesday in an upper room. It is not done scripturally. Of course you could take issue with Wednesday best being Thursday but that would cause another Church split.