Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Okay, here were – in my experiences – some of the nastiest, evil, GCB’s in the congregation. We had one elder so spineless that he couldn’t do anything without asking her first. He included her in meetings and decesions. Other elders conferred with her. What she wanted, she got. She was very much an elder. She had a lot of power and was to be feared. Anyone have some stories to share about elders’ and their wives?

An elder at one of our churches was a good man whose wife died. He remarried to someone who had already outlived one husband and was abandoned by another at a very young age. No kids. She took power for herself and made all manner of crazy accusations against our family and others. The bubba types believed her.

Same church--head elder's wife was really loud and held court every Sunday in the lobby while the elders were having their weekly "blame the preacher for everything" elders' meeting. Anybody who wasn't into "country" living would be ridiculed and mocked, and very often to their faces. But, because she was the "godly wife of one of God's elders," nobody dared challenge her.

At another church, we had four elders, but the two who controlled the treasury had more power than the other two, for obvious reasons. Their wives were not in-your-face types, but they were definitely trouble-makers to anyone who challenged the status quo. When we were moving, they actually came to our house and hinted about some of our stuff they wanted. They didn't get a damn thing from us.

My Mom has often had trouble dealing with the elder's wife of my CofC, although considering her husband who loves to teach passive aggressive sermons about whatever latest drama he got himself into inside or outside the church, it maybe more of a case of birds of a feather flock together.

Oddly enough despite the fact that no women aren't allowed in leader positions, they do teach that wives are still ultimately the ones that control everything anyway. I mean, I don't care nor is it any of my business of who wears the hypothetical pants in a marriage [or they forgo wearing pants altogether or something], I just don't understand why they just come out and say that they think church should be a boy's club instead of trying to proof-text everything. Well, I know the answer to that but still it's not any less irritating.

Struggler wrote:An elder at one of our churches was a good man whose wife died. He remarried to someone who had already outlived one husband and was abandoned by another at a very young age. No kids. She took power for herself and made all manner of crazy accusations against our family and others. The bubba types believed her.

In many COCs he would have become ineligible to remain an elder after his first wife died. "Husband of one [and only one, ever, not just at a time] wife," as the scripture says.

Lev

Yes. While I was mainstream the mainstream church does get an influx of conservative thinkers. The difference is not as much as you might think. An elder's wife should meet the same requirements. Gossip needs to be recognized as a sin. Some biddies do not know this and are not called on it. The cacophony in the background destroyed many people and never ceased. Saw it first hand. Never want to see it again. Same old same old.