Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I believe I made this thread on the old board, and I'd like to revive it.

Basically what was the CoC you grew up in/attended/was dragged kicking and screaming to like? Obviously, if you switched congregations, you can have more than one answer.

The CoC I grew up in, and at this point still attending, is a "mainstream" institutional conservative church. We could have sunday school in the building and use powerpoint, but using musical instruments or allowing women in leadership positions are still considered verboten. My grandfather is one of two elders, and his father before him was an elder as well. My family is pretty well respected in the church.

I think we actually had a poll going -

Mainstream white vanilla suburban - kitchen in the basement, tried youth groups in the 60's but they didn't 'take' then - they have one now though, VBS and Sunday School, multiple cups, no women in leadership positions (although a lot of ladies taught Sunday School classes), no 'instruments of music in the worship service' but a piano was okay for a wedding (as long as it was out of the building before services). Started in the early 50's through a split over 'institutions' (supporting orphanages), grew fast through the sixties and seventies, one of the biggest congregations in Nashville then and still big (not THE biggest, but big). Two or three ministers, a preaching school, a dozen elders, a couple dozen deacons (need I say, all male?) nowadays they have powerpoint - my stepmom still attends.

A lot of the controversial topics argued about in the 50's and 60's were settled on the liberal end - the church (building) now has STAINED GLASS WINDOWS!! PEW CUSHIONS!! CARPETING!!! strange to think that those were actually things that threatened to split the congregation way back when. My dad used to say you could put lipstick on a pig but it was still a pig. You can put stained glass and carpet (and powerpoint) in a coc, but it is still a coc in the end.

The coc I attended as a child was coc pretending to be an old-fashioned country church. It succeeded most of the time, and I have many fond memories. As I grew older, I saw all they did was fight and quarrel, and I became disillusioned. To my mother’s credit (and heartbreak), I stopped going.

As an adult, I joined the coc in the big city. It was the second largest and influential church in town, and was a far cry from that little country church. But the brainwashing that was seeded as a child grew to maturity as an adult. All the trappings were conscious now: the one, true church, water baptism, etc. I wanted to a Christian, and this was all I really knew. I became trapped. People who were supposed to be speaking the truth in love were mean, bitter, and spiteful. I was a second class Christian. I was not one of the elite. My teacher salary was less than those of the doctors and lawyers whose families made up the congregation. My job meant I sometimes had to miss (a teacher’s job isn’t over when the bell rings). I was put in my place, and often reprimanded. It became hell, and being the troublemaker I was made out to be, I began to question many coc doctrines. Finally, I escaped (but that’s another story). Now, I feel much happier and closer to the Creator.

My hometown CofC was a fairly conservative church with a few "relaxed" aspects originally (it came about after splitting over having a kitchen in the building), but it skewed more and more conservative post-1970s (like a lot of Southern institutions). It was never going to be a librul church, but the eldership became increasingly controlling and demanding throughout the '80s. Lots of political speak in and out of the pulpit; those who didn't support a specifically conservative Republican viewpoint were ostracized. Very pro-capitalist, anti-abortion, anti-union, death penalty supporting, low taxes, very pro-wars against Islam. Lots of "issues" talk from the pulpit, eldership expects the preacher to specifically direct the congregation towards the correct political view and candidates. A few years ago, the eldership began to demand that anyone who taught in the Sunday School program sign a document outlining what they could and couldn't discuss, with anything not specifically covered in the agreement to be directed to the elders at once. They used to send their kids to places like FHU and Harding; now it's Florida College and (perhaps) Faulkner. They're very involved in the nasty CofC debate culture, people arguing and snitching over which preacher said what where, and how to best ostracize whomever doesn't toe the party line. People who miss services for whatever reason chided publically; a deacon was recently removed from his office after he'd missed a few Sunday and Wed. nights to attend his child's sports competitions and didn't think he owed the elders any sort of apology or explanation.

I was in the conservative hard-line branch. It stopped just short of being "anti." (Those "antis" were going to hell, because they didn't support orphans' homes, etc.) Absolutely no instrumental music, must have biblical authority for absolutely everything, no fellowshipping of denominations, no drinking/dancing/smoking, etc. The COC was the only right church and the only ones going to Heaven.

My experience was with quite a few congregations, as I am a PK. Invariably, after a few months of happiness, some old curmudgeon would get a hornet up their ass about one bit of minutae or another and would go on an absolute ruthless tear about it. After a couple of years, they'd finally work it up into something the church could split over and then we'd have to look for another church/job.

That's what gets me when some COC bliss-monster says "Oh, I'm sorry someone hurt you, but you can't judge all congregations by the bad apples!" Listen, I've been in dozens of the damn things. I've probably had membership in 20 or so. I've visited hundreds of them. I went to one of their colleges for four years and lived in that town for another year after. Almost all of my friends for years were COC people. I've preached for several congregations. I truly believe by now that I have obtained a fair cross-sampling of congregations to be able to make my own conclusion about the denomination as a whole, thank you very much! So tell me again about how your congregation is sooooo different from the rest?

So yeah...basically, my background is in COCs that always conveniently had a Weaker Brother In Waiting standing by waiting to jump in and start shit the very second there was doctrinal hay to be made.

GH - long time, no see! Glad you're back.

Full Anti. No orphans homes, no food pantry for the poor, no kitchen, no clapping during songs, no singing during the Lord's Supper, no women speaking (except during Bible class), no church van, no youth group, and of course no musical instruments. Florida College was the only reasonable choice; it was referred to simply as "the college." Regular sermons on "Why I Left the ___ Church" (insert "Baptist," "Catholic," "Mormon," etc.) as a way to denounce the denominations. Debates on whether we could really call non-anti COCers "brethren."

Lev

GuitarHero wrote:I was in the conservative hard-line branch. It stopped just short of being "anti." (Those "antis" were going to hell, because they didn't support orphans' homes, etc.) Absolutely no instrumental music, must have biblical authority for absolutely everything, no fellowshipping of denominations, no drinking/dancing/smoking, etc. The COC was the only right church and the only ones going to Heaven.

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Mine was much like GuitarHero, although some people smoked. No swimsuits or shorts. Small congregation in North Georgia that was never large enough to have Elders, so the Men made the decisions. They fellowshipped many other CoC across North Georgia and they all had similar beliefs. All Aunts and Uncles CoC in North Alabama with similar beliefs, also.

I left 30 years ago. What makes me sad is that the CoC does not bring happiness or contentment to its members. When you believe most people, including your family or kids who are not Coc, are going to hell, you have no joy.

margin overa wrote:GH - long time, no see! Glad you're back.

Thanks Good to see you're still here!

I need my dose of excoc every once in a while, still!

My parents' CoC isn't really as bad as the others. It's just... really boring.

One of the ministers also happen to be one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.