Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

h**ps://nypost.com/2019/12/18/missouri-church-leader-tried-to-pay-for-sex-on-grindr-with-arbys-card/

I have heard of this guy, and finally remembered where. He had written a profile of George DeHoff (who was a family friend) when he was in college, and it was referenced in Mr. DeHoff's autobiography. Never met Mr. Poyner, and I'm glad I haven't.
Two points here:
(1) I feel sorry for his family.
(2) Yuck.

Not that what he did was ok, but he was probably someone who was “living a lie” and a closeted gay man.

Well - yikes.
Even a college student with major hunger might want something a bit more high class than Arby's. TGIF, maybe.

He couldn't come up with actual cash? What a cheapskate!

Did you see the last line of the story?

The CoC...'has made homophobic comments in the past'. Gee, ya think?

Weird, wild stuff!

Attempting to suppress ones own, or others, sexual desires and needs is foolish and will almost always end in failure. Labeling normal sexual impulses and desires as sin is, IMO, the ultimate control tactic. No matter how dedicated a person might be to their religious beliefs controlling their normal sexual desires and needs, or limiting them within stated boundaries, will almost always fail.

Labeling masturbation as sin, IMO, should be labeled as cruel and unusual punishment. That creates an enormous amount of problems for teenagers who are trying to be faithful to their beliefs. And these issues sometimes carry over into their marriages. Some simply can’t get past the belief sex is sinful, even sex within marriage.

That might be a factor in the high divorce rates in the faith community.

Cootie Brown wrote:Attempting to suppress ones own, or others, sexual desires and needs is foolish and will almost always end in failure.

It'll come out sideways. Usually in some way that's not healthy.

My mother recently said she does believe people are born gay and can’t help it, but it is a sin and she can’t explain it. She is entitled to her belief. I think it is unfair and unrealistic to expect someone to be alone and celibate for the rest of their life, unless they want to do that.

FinallyFree wrote:My mother recently said she does believe people are born gay and can’t help it, but it is a sin and she can’t explain it. She is entitled to her belief. I think it is unfair and unrealistic to expect someone to be alone and celibate for the rest of their life, unless they want to do that.

Well, at least she is trying to grapple with it, FF. I think that is a positive sign...do you?

Ivy wrote:

FinallyFree wrote:My mother recently said she does believe people are born gay and can’t help it, but it is a sin and she can’t explain it. She is entitled to her belief. I think it is unfair and unrealistic to expect someone to be alone and celibate for the rest of their life, unless they want to do that.

Well, at least she is trying to grapple with it, FF. I think that is a positive sign...do you?

I think so. It is so hard when it happens in your family. Then you look at things differently. So many of the beliefs I grew up with were things that came back to haunt me. I was raised to be very judgmental and then I was faced with the things I was judgmental about—kind of like karma.

It will be interesting to see how the Christian Chronicle reports on this, if it does. The guy is an academic and has written for some C of C publications, so he has a little "fame" in C of C circles.