Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I'm awake I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
Right here (right here), right now (right now)
I'll stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake and I'm alive

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

The Bible was survival, that's what my grandma would teach us
Since I was 5, I've been dying and trying to read it When I did I did, it redefined it
Now you was 34 when you found Jesus after your life fell to pieces
Wife two times, with two guys, now enlightened in speeches
Seemed to flow out your mouth with the hype of a preacher
Took your whole life to reach you, now I'm a trifling creature
Ms. Holy Roller, new angel, got ya Bible out shoutin' and you're ringing a bell
mid-life, reborn, can't wait to tell, if I don't believe what you believe,
I'm going to hell...

Here's to us, here's to love
All the times that we fucked up
Here's to you, fill the glass
Cause the last few nights have kicked my ass
If they give you hell, tell 'em go f**k themselves
Here's to us.

Why be afraid if I'm not alone
Though life is never easy the rest is unknown
Up to now for me it's been hands against stone
Spent each and every moment
Searching for what to believe
Coming out of the dark, I finally see the light now
It's shining on me
Coming out of the dark I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than f**king perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're f**king perfect to me

I'm free
To do what I want
Any old time
I said I'm free
To do what I want
Any old time

I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

I don't remember one moment I tried to forget
I lost myself yet I'm better not sad
Now I'm closer to the edge
It was a a thousand to one and a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge

So, keep your dream with no consequence
You'd damage me just to feed your senses
All you fake for reality
I see right through you, see right through you
Take your pride, take your vanity
Can't you see that your ego's empty?
I will turn, I will walk away
I won't become you, won't become you..
You want a perfect, PERFECT LIFE
Nothing wrong, nothing real inside
All I see is a perfect lie
I don't want your perfect life

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine

You don't know what your power has done to me
I want to know if I'll heal inside
I can't go on with a holocaust about to happen
Seeing you laughing another time
You'll never know why your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
Leaving me breathless, the reason I know
That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run