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Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:06 pm
by KLP
Not sure when this article was written but it is awesome

h**p://lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVarticles/JustYourAverageJoe.htm

It is a story about a couple who convert to CofC and become estranged and disconnected from everyone outside of CofC. And they go on to have a "not too bright" son who eventually becomes an elder and then sees everyone in Heaven after he dies. The article does finally fess up to being "fiction" but that was not needed since no one every felt Average Joe Elder was acting our of meanness or spite when he was rebuking the flock.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:56 am
by GuitarHero
I think I vomited a little by the end of the first paragraph.

That is really.... something special.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:44 pm
by NeverAgain
Everybody, this site needs a look, if for no other reason than to reinforce the best decision you ever made in your life: to leave the Church of Christ denomination. Check out the q&a tab on it. Earlier this year, someone called him down about his arrogant and judgmental responses to people seeking real help with real problems -- and his reply was one of the most arrogant and judgmental diatribes you can imagine. This site is a one-stop shopping center for everything that is wrong about the Church of Christ.

Even so, this site is a real hoot. I just had a belly laugh about his response to the question about whether masturbation is a sin: "While we cannot speak as to whether the act of masturbating is a sin or not, we can examine the motivations. Any act of masturbation that is accompanied by thoughts of a sinful act becomes sinful." Well, what the hell else kind of thoughts do you have when masturbating? I recall all sorts of just-wishing situations involving Ann-Margret, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, and an early-blooming girl in my class named Connie when I was in the heyday of my early teens.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 2:35 pm
by Pitts S2C
“The La Vista Church of Christ, located on the south side of Omaha, Nebraska, has no bowling league, no softball team, nor does it sponsor a Boy Scout troop. We have an air-conditioned building with several rooms for Bible classes, but there is no kitchen, no banquet hall, no gymnasium, or party room.”

That right there is the reason I cannot fellowship with them. There is no biblical authority for a building with air-conditioning. Air-conditioning is not an expedient. My great-grandfather who was an elder & preacher in West Virginia never had a building that was air-conditioned. Clearly they are not following the pattern of a New Testament church.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:51 pm
by KLP
The pastor at La Vista seems to maybe have a brother who is the pastor of a splinter...err "new growth" congregation in Rapid City
h**p://battlecreekcoc.org
...Not all churches of Christ are the same. Many churches of Christ do not strictly follow God’s word.

Some churches of Christ have been “leavened” by carnal members... A sure sign of this is a church that condones sin among its members ...

Similarly, the drinking of alcoholic beverages among our members has caused division among churches of Christ in the Black Hills. The drinking of alcohol is just as sinful as the condition of drunkenness ... This truth eludes some Christians because they want to focus on passages that condemn the condition of drunkenness while ignoring passages that condemn its use. They conclude that a moderate amount of alcohol is acceptable. Nothing could be farther from the truth!

The Battle Creek church of Christ does not condone the drinking of alcoholic beverages!

The Bible teaches abstinence from alcohol...
OK, not to be picky, but the cause of the division might not be the "drinking" as much as this group packing up and leaving I guess.
...A sound church would not try to justify kitchens and dinners supported by church funds when the apostle Paul condemned mixing social events with the work of the church... these things can be found in apostate churches of Christ....
Some brethren will argue in ignorance that churches of Christ have always practiced the things just mentioned. Jeffrey Hamilton wrote an excellent and well documented article on this very topic entitled “Slip Sliding Away.” I would encourage anyone living under that delusion to read the article....

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:10 pm
by GuitarHero
I checked the Q&A page. Folks are trolling this page super hard. Either that, or, I suspect, the author of the website is making them all up.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:15 am
by KLP
It does seem it has a very high percentage of sex questions and many are whacky. I figured he was making them up himself but it could be trolls.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 11:12 am
by GuitarHero
Given that many of these letters have the exact same grammatical errors and similar syntax, I'm guessing a lot of them are fictional. There are a few true believers sprinkled in, though.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 1:31 pm
by B.H.
NeverAgain wrote:Everybody, this site needs a look, if for no other reason than to reinforce the best decision you ever made in your life: to leave the Church of Christ denomination. Check out the q&a tab on it. Earlier this year, someone called him down about his arrogant and judgmental responses to people seeking real help with real problems -- and his reply was one of the most arrogant and judgmental diatribes you can imagine. This site is a one-stop shopping center for everything that is wrong about the Church of Christ.

Even so, this site is a real hoot. I just had a belly laugh about his response to the question about whether masturbation is a sin: "While we cannot speak as to whether the act of masturbating is a sin or not, we can examine the motivations. Any act of masturbation that is accompanied by thoughts of a sinful act becomes sinful." Well, what the hell else kind of thoughts do you have when masturbating? I recall all sorts of just-wishing situations involving Ann-Margret, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, and an early-blooming girl in my class named Connie when I was in the heyday of my early teens.
Just imagine the girl your are whacking off to as your lawfully wedded wife and all is well.

Re: Average Joe becomes an Elder

Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 6:57 am
by GuitarHero
B.H. wrote:
NeverAgain wrote:Everybody, this site needs a look, if for no other reason than to reinforce the best decision you ever made in your life: to leave the Church of Christ denomination. Check out the q&a tab on it. Earlier this year, someone called him down about his arrogant and judgmental responses to people seeking real help with real problems -- and his reply was one of the most arrogant and judgmental diatribes you can imagine. This site is a one-stop shopping center for everything that is wrong about the Church of Christ.

Even so, this site is a real hoot. I just had a belly laugh about his response to the question about whether masturbation is a sin: "While we cannot speak as to whether the act of masturbating is a sin or not, we can examine the motivations. Any act of masturbation that is accompanied by thoughts of a sinful act becomes sinful." Well, what the hell else kind of thoughts do you have when masturbating? I recall all sorts of just-wishing situations involving Ann-Margret, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, and an early-blooming girl in my class named Connie when I was in the heyday of my early teens.
Just imagine the girl your are whacking off to as your lawfully wedded wife and all is well.
But then, what if I fantasize about a different woman as my wife the next time? Have I committed masturbatorial adultery in my heart? WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO MARRY??? Oh the humanity...