Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

One of the tortured events I have seen several times (no personnel experience) is divorced people who want to get married at the CoC they attend with the minister refusing to perform the service because they did not have grounds for remarriage. The preachers found out that adultery was not the reason for the divorce I guess by asking the people who wanted to get married. This seems an awfully cruel practice that has led to a lot of bad feelings. I wonder what stories and information others may have about this and similar situations?

Unfortunately the CoC is not the most strict Church in this matter. I have a young friend (former bartender) who joined John Hagee's church in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I was interested in this church to see what drew my friend to it and read some about it. They do not approve of divorce (although Hagee left his wife in the 70's to marry a younger woman at his church). For people joining the church they stated the divorced person needs to get back with their former spouse and that they will assist the people in contacting the former spouse (want to volunteer for that duty?). I can't remember what they said about remarried people who want to join the church, but I think their basic contention was the remarriage was not a legitimate marriage in the eyes of God and they were in an adulterous situation, I can't remember all the details of this. I do not see this info on the website now. They also had mock jewish religious ceremonies with a scroll, candles etc for jewish people, however at the end of it they had an invitation for them to convert to Christianity.

I have read some CoC people don't believe in divorce under any circumstances also. Any additional info about these topics would be appreciated.

Yes, you find them mostly in the one cup folks but there are some CoCers that do not allow for any divorce and remarriage.

Found this on the web ( A Church of Christ website) about divorce and re-marriage . Divorce used to be a BIG deal in Christian churches in the bible belt not just in the CoC either . Divorced people would get shunned most times in society . Still that way in some parts of the world .


The Scriptures give two justifiable reasons for divorce: adultery (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment (I Corinthians 7:15). Divorce is allowable in the case of marital unfaithfulness because the marriage covenant has been broken, but this is a concession and not a command. God still hates divorce, and if at all possible, if the unfaithful spouse shows signs of repentance and a willingness to recommit, we encourage the innocent party to seek forgiveness and restoration.
The elders at Mt Orab Church of Christ have identified five scenarios under which a person who has been previously married may marry again. Any MOCC member desiring to be remarried by one of our ministers or in our building must meet one of the five following criteria:
The former spouse has passed away (I Corinthians 7:39)
The divorce occurred prior to salvation (II Corinthians 5:17)
The former spouse has remarried (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
Abandonment by the former spouse (I Corinthians 7;15)
Adultery broke the marriage covenant (Matthew 19:9)


When the one desiring to remarry was the guilty party, there must first be signs of repentance and a desire to reconcile with his or her former spouse. If the former spouse is unable or unwilling to reconcile, then after prayer and godly counsel we may allow the person to remarry.
We recognize that these biblical parameters do not allow divorce under other circumstances where divorce may seem warranted.


I thought when you got "saved by the gospel " ALL your previous sins were forgiven ........But I think you should stop divorcing as well .

The problem with remarrying after "baptism" is unless the grounds for the divorce is biblical (adultery) you would be living in sin.

I don't see how this church justifies either divorce or remarriage after abandonment Matthew 9:11 explicit states divorce and remarriage is only permissible if the divorce is for adultery. There is a passage about living with nonbelievers which isn't very clear. And doesn't the MOCC realize Deuteronomy 5:17 which they cite which they list is the old covenant.

Yeah, if someone stole a bunch of money and later got saved they still have an obligation to return the money.

The Christians have put themselves into a quandary over this. It's their problem, let them eat it.

I never knew any C of C who were against divorce no matter what, they all accepted adultery as a valid reason for divorce. However, they did not consider spousal abuse to be a legitimate reason for divorce and remarriage.

Jesus didn't seem to have any problem forgiving Saul (Paul) for rounding up followers of the Messiah and killing them . He stood and consented to the
death by stoning Stephen . And yet Jesus chose him to be an apostle to the Gentiles and forgave him (remember he was baptized and had his sins
forgiven )..........Yet if you have lived an adulterous life and been married before you can't be saved (right with G-d) unless you live a single life and
leave the woman you are with ,put her into poverty with the kids too . But Saul got forgiven for murder ? What if you blew the money you stole
on wine women and song and then wanted to be a Christian ? Sorry no can do for you boy ! Yet Jesus spoke the parable of the prodigal
son who came back after a life of debauchery . One of the problems of bible literalists is they put burdens on people that no one can be saved .

As for someone who beats his wife and children he is worse than a heathen or infidel and I would encourage a woman to divorce the bum even
if the church told her she had to stay . That is insane to make her stay in a marriage like that . The tell her you can never re-marry , I don't
see it myself and these kinds of interpretations and rules is why I am not a Christian anymore . There is no grace and forgiveness with the
bible literalists .

At my last COC, the preacher (and probably others) told a couple they needed to separate after it was discovered that they had previous unscriptural divorces. I don’t know if the divorces were before or after their baptisms, but anyway I don’t think that NICOC gave people a pass based on the sequence of the baptism/divorce. What was so HORRIBLE about this episode is that the wife was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with their first child.

Some members left that church immediately after this happened, including the “sinful” couple. I didn't leave immediately, but this was one of many things that led to my apostasy.

Moogy wrote: ↑Fri Sep 15, 2023 10:33 pm At my last COC, the preacher (and probably others) told a couple they needed to separate after it was discovered that they had previous unscriptural divorces. I don’t know if the divorces were before or after their baptisms, but anyway I don’t think that NICOC gave people a pass based on the sequence of the baptism/divorce. What was so HORRIBLE about this episode is that the wife was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with their first child.

Some members left that church immediately after this happened, including the “sinful” couple. I didn't leave immediately, but this was one of many things that led to my apostasy.

I am glad ya'll left and made a stand against such strict teachings of that church group . Not all are that way I suppose but a story like that
makes me cringe . It makes my blood boil too . And there is nothing you could tell the divorce cop that would change his mind on the subject
either . What a jerk that preacher/elder was/is ! .......Sorry Moogy , I can't help to shake my head in disgust . Those people and their unborn
child are much better off IMO .

Divorce and remarriage... the unpardonable sin. Ha!