Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Just curious. Did anyone else ever sit through a reading of a letter written to a "disfellowshipped" member?

LAS8986 wrote:Just curious. Did anyone else ever sit through a reading of a letter written to a "disfellowshipped" member?

No, but my dad did once. The preacher had left his wife and kids to go be with another woman. And believe it or not the elders did in in a way that they actually should have done it---they explained to the congregation what happened and how they tried to work with him but he wanted the other woman, and that they had no choice to do it and hated it. Two were crying.

Yes, several times. I was mostly in NI COCs, which I think tend to disfellowship more often than mainlines. Like BH, I've seen it done "by the book," although I question its effectiveness today as compared to the time of close-knit, illegal religious adherent societies in the first century. I've also had to live in a family with a disfellowshiped uncle, which made family gatherings quite awkward and difficult, as some family members felt that the disfellowshiping was only for the church, not for the family, and others felt otherwise.

Lev

I do not think I can recall a time that a place without elders actually did it...seems it was always with elders. Usually it was after a person had "forsaken" the assembly for a year or two and then they got officially withdrawn from...seemed rather silly at that point. There were a number of folks what got dismembered when the blow up of our departure occurred. I was gone by then, but I read a number of their letters that were read verbatim to the congregation.

The last place I was at really had a flair for it. Right after the opening of Sunday morning services the head elder (usually) would get up and read the dread letter and be all "we are justified" and it was done in "love" when you knew that elder was one of the most mean and angry people to have the title of elder. OK, get out your song books and lets Sing and Be Happy. Hey, lets all clear our minds now and think about the crucifixion. OK, Mr. head elder, I am thinking crucifixion and you are there but as one of the accusers or executioner...ok, yeah, it is clear in my mind now...serve up the juice tray. ON top of that we had a preacher who had the drama and screaming as his "style" and would always bring up the withdrawal again in case it had slipped out of your mind...ugh, those mornings of withdrawing were the worst. Anytime the head elder got up right after announcements was going to be a bad day.

Oh yes, enough times that I can't remember how many. As KLP notes, often it was for "forsaking the assembly", and would be read after someone had been gone for a year or longer. The elder in charge of reading the letter would always make sure that the congregation knew the erring sinner had been attempted to be contacted, sometimes with certified letters, and had retained a "stubborn and not a contrite heart". There were several occasions where the people being disfellowshipped were related to members in good standing, and it caused all kinds of problems around holidays, as certain family members or friends were convinced they couldn't sit and eat with the disfellowshipped person. I note that such motions rarely last very long - all those family members eventually just ignored the elders' diktat, and resumed fellowship with their families, and vice versa.

When you think of it we all disfellowshipped the Church of Christ.

I know when I left, I'm sure that the congragation where we "worshipped" had to have said something to my parents. I never received a letter. I always wonder if my parents had a talk with the elders notifying them that I had dropped off of the CofC planet. Can't say for sure. What is odd is that my parents still attend that congregation.

I don't recall exactly when it happened, but I know in my teens, probably not that long after I signed myself over in baptism, I had come to the realization that this just didn't seem right. It seemed totally conflicting with what Jesus had taught.

LAS8986 wrote:Just curious. Did anyone else ever sit through a reading of a letter written to a "disfellowshipped" member?

Yes, on a Wednesday night. It was addressed to a man whose wife reported to the elders that he was having an affair. The elders asked folks who knew him to talk to him. He repented and he was welcomed back with great joy and affection.

LAS8986 wrote:Just curious. Did anyone else ever sit through a reading of a letter written to a "disfellowshipped" member?

Oh, yes, on too many occasions to count. The NI COC disfellowships people right and left. I'm amazed there's anyone left to keep the place going.

What would all of you do if I tried to disfellowship you?