A place to snark and vent about CoC doctrine and/or our experiences in the CoC. This is a place for SUPPORT and AGREEMENT only, not a place to tell someone their experience and feelings are wrong, or why we disagree with them.
klp wrote:Yes, I had doubts but I eventually realized that what I was leaving was the CofC and not leaving God. That while CofC was right IMO about a lot of things, that it ultimately was also a deeply flawed human organization run by folks in charge who had not really been transformed in mind as they were about power, control, and prestige. Most all the CofC folks are driven by fear, but often the fear of being kicked out, called unfaithful/weak, or not as zealous as others. The show, presentation, and front had to always be maintained or else people would know how you really are. And then there were all the brotherhood connections, associations, cliques, colleges, and magazines that just added another layer of branding and control of thinking.
That is the stuff I left behind, not God. It was the CofC junk on top of all the God stuff that I wanted to avoid...
This could have come from my own diary, well, if I wrote a diary, but I digress.
There are times that I miss some CoC things, there are times when I miss particular people, and especially particular songs, but the price of returning even for a visit is too high.
I never left God, but I did leave the Church of Christ denomination. No matter what any of them think, I never left God.
The fire and brimstone shtick used to terrify me on occasion when I was very young, but I guess I decided at a very young age that there was no way I was going to heaven anyway, as that's what I was constantly told, so why worry about it.
I either couldn't figure out why I was going to hell or just decided it was impossible for me to be "better" than I was. I recall nothing but rambunctious but normal childhood behavior and some acute anxiety for awhile after my parents divorced and my CoC grandmother moved in with us, annnd that probably explains the anxiety. As I got older I would have a flashback to the shtick very,very infrequently and would have a significant amount of fear for a little while afterwards. I was lucky though, because none of it ever made sense, so I never really bought it. I ended up joining the Baptist church, and though I loved both that I went to, and they both preached positive, biblically based messages, it still didn't really add up. When I moved back to where I grew up I took my family to my sister's CoC a few times thinking we'd join. I had NO CLUE that fire and brimstone, doom and gloom were CoC staples, and we only lasted a few weeks. I remember feeling dark, or like the energy had been sucked out of me after CoC services. Neither my ex or I had ever been devout, so those CoC visits were the the last time I've been in a church. We never got around to visiting other churches after that. After four years in Baptist churches and having a very positive experience at CrossLife in Florida, I don't recall ever having any moments of intense fear ever again.
After living through some serious abuse at the hands of my CoC family which, of course, included their absolute refusal to even speak to me, let alone tell me why they were doing what they were doing, I started reading about religion to see if I could figure out how they could justify to themselves what they had done. I just couldn't fathom how decent people could purposefully, willfully if you will, don't they just LOVE to preach about willful behavior? destroy their sister/daughter's relationships with her children like they were doing. I figured it had to be religion, because religion was my sister's whole life. My sister and mother both knew that my ex was abusing my children, lying and stealing money, but they chose to help him ruin my relationships with my children and get full custody and control of them anyway. That screamed paternalistic, authoritarian religion to me, but it also screamed a chance for a natural born bully to have the opportunity to bully with abandon while playing long suffering saint, so it was a toss up. Not only would they not speak to me, they wouldn't tell me what my ex alleged and what evidence he had to prove it. They wouldn't even look at the evidence I had that proved he's lied on the few allegations I did manage to find out about. I'm pretty sure they knew he'd made most of it up, and that was something that they did not want to confirm. How would them being wrong look after all.
After reading/listening to Hitchens, Dawkins and Harris I was convinced that the bible is about as reliable an account of reality as The Iliad or The Oddsey. It took a very long time and a whole lot of listening to debates, but occasional doubts about the bible being true just don't happen anymore. I've only recently begun looking into the CoC, and two or three days of it put the final nail in that coffin I believe. The ironic thing is ultimately the CoC destroyed the little, but tenacious, faith I had. But for the horrible treatment by two of their shining stars, I never would have read Hitchens or any of the other atheists, who make complete sense and have verifiable facts, I'd still be at least a little bit of a believer.
NotFarEnough wrote:The fire and brimstone shtick used to terrify me on occasion when I was very young, but I guess I decided at a very young age that there was no way I was going to heaven
It is very tough on the young as you have no real world experience to balance it out. All or none thinking can drive you nuts.
NotFarEnough wrote:
When I moved back to where I grew up I took my family to my sister's CoC a few times thinking we'd join. I had NO CLUE that fire and brimstone, doom and gloom were CoC staples, and we only lasted a few weeks. I remember feeling dark, or like the energy had been sucked out of me after CoC services.
It's real. The damage is spiritual. I could not go back because I would sense this.
NotFarEnough wrote: I just couldn't fathom how decent people could purposefully, ....
That is a tough one. You would not achieve anything by making them look bad.
NotFarEnough wrote:After reading/listening to Hitchens, Dawkins and Harris
I enjoy atheists because you can find truth. Don't forget that miracles are not logical. Both Atheists and Christians fail there.
NotFarEnough wrote:
But for the horrible treatment by two of their shining stars, I never would have read Hitchens or any of the other atheists, who make complete sense and have verifiable facts, I'd still be at least a little bit of a believer.
Been there done that. I enjoy Dawkins. There are Christian Pharisees too. Those are common fodder in the CoC. I know of one super Christian whose main fault was gossip. For some reason this goes unrecognized in the CoC. There are things that science cannot explain and it can do pretty darn good. Best wishes.
