A little about me.
I'm apart of a conservative COC church and re-examining all I've been taught. Its been a complicated spiritual journey, but hopefully the right decision will be made. For most of my life I've dealt with self-doubt, insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, social awakwardness, people-pleasing which I believe are a result of authoritarian parenting. I'm trying to break free from this stuff and more. Growing up in a coC houshold I witnessed domestic abuse,addiction and infidelity committed by my father. He was also a minister and strict on us. My mom divorced finally divorced him. I was baptized at age 13. This was in part due to my grandmother studying scripture with me. During that time the rest of my family stopped going to church. I continued to attend throughout adulthood. I've always had a complicated relationship with my faith. What I've seen my parents do didn't necessarily follow the scripture. It was a "do as I say, but not as I do" upbringing, PARTICULARY with my father.
Both of my parents and siblings have been restored to the faith. They currently attend coC churches. My dad is still as hard-lined as ever. At this point I'm trying to obtain spiritual, mental, and emotional freedom....just simply be my own person. This is hard to do when you've been indoctrinated for so long. On the flip side I have alot of good memories with church friends which makes it difficult to leave. Right now I"m trying to figure out the next steps. I'm leaning towards taking a break from church or lowering my attendance. I've become a Sunday Morning Only attendee
Overall I still believe in God and Jesus as my Saviour. I've also never fully agreed with idea that other Christians were going to hell because they weren't members of this church, especially when they lived out the Chrisitian faith better than those in the coC.I'm going to read some old threads to help with the process. Soo thankful to have found this and other websites. I'm not alone
. I'll post if I have any questions or thoughts. Thank you all!
