Keeping up appearances

[sonicrainkrieg42]

I'm sure we've all heard a sermon or two about how we can't do things like go inside a liquor store simply to use the restroom, because someone might see us and think we were giving in to the demon drink, which would make you, and therefore the church, look bad.

The CoC seems to hammer it in that we should give so much thought into what other people think, and that we should conform. For example, I am seen as a man by my family's congregation, with long hair. While no one would say anything to my face, they apparently talked to my family about it, because they kept pressuring me to get my hair cut. It didn't matter to them that I genuinely loved my hair long, it didn't matter to them that my esteem in my looks shoots way down when I have short hair, to them it simply isn't "proper" for boys to have long hair. I remember this particular incident in where my grandfather (an elder) was talking to a visiting preacher in the dining room of his house, when I walked by. The preacher turned to my grandfather, and asked him if I was a hippie. This mortified him.

I absolutely hated getting my haircut. It made me look very unfeminine, and it reminded me that the CoC doesn't care about you as an individual, but only as a obedient little pew sitter.

If the CoC had it's way, society would have never advanced past the 1950's. They like to say that they're first century christians, but the truth is they're more like early 20th century christians.

[illuminator]

I remember those who refused to eat at certain restaurants because they served liquor but had no problems shopping at supermarkets that sell beer!

[MusicMan826]

Everything was always about what other people thought. I remember more than one preacher talking about what you should do if your car were to break down in the middle of a storm right in front of a liquor store or bar. You were supposed to get out and walk down to the nearest place that wasn't a liquor store, even if it were a mile up the road, and call for help (this was before cell phones and all that). What if a member of "the church" were to drive by at that exact moment and see you walking into a liquor store? What would they think? You would be a "stumbling block" for them. Also, don't even think about sitting in the bar area of a restaurant. Even if you weren't having a drink, what would people think? I remember my dad once had a necklace with a cross on it. We were out at dinner one night and someone from church saw us and header over to the table to say hi. My dad almost accidentally broke the necklace in an attempt to hide it under his shirt. I later asked why he did that and he said he didn't want the guy from church to see it and get the wrong idea. I must say it is extremely nice to no longer live my entire life worrying if someone from church is watching me and judging me for every choice I make.

[Lev]

What if a member of "the church" were to drive by at that exact moment and see you walking into a liquor store? What would they think? You would be a "stumbling block" for them.

This is such an oft-repeated hypothetical in the COC, I wonder about its history. Did this ever actually happen? I cannot imagine a recovering alcoholic (as the "weak brother" in this scenario is assumed to be, I guess) driving along thinking, "don't drink don't drink don't drink..." and all it takes is seeing Brother Car-Broke-Down walk into the ABC to change the refrain to "Booze time!" I mean, if anyone is that close to alcoholism, it's not your fault that they drink. They should really avoid watching television, going to restaurants, or even leaving the house.

I remember my dad once had a necklace with a cross on it. We were out at dinner one night and someone from church saw us and header over to the table to say hi. My dad almost accidentally broke the necklace in an attempt to hide it under his shirt. I later asked why he did that and he said he didn't want the guy from church to see it and get the wrong idea. I must say it is extremely nice to no longer live my entire life worrying if someone from church is watching me and judging me for every choice I make.

The cross necklace is interesting. I've noticed it more and more among COC people in recent years. This is probably something that they're relaxing the rules on. I remember it was strictly forbidden when I was a kid (1980s) because it either a) was too Catholic, or b) could become an idol. We had a thread on the old board about things that used to be "sins" in the COC that aren't anymore. I'll start that up again here as a refresher. Might be an interesting discussion.

Lev

[Ivy]

I wish I'd known the phrase "Don't judge me" back then.

Not that it would have stopped them.

[ena]

The cross necklace is interesting.

Yes, it is. If you are Catholic it might be a crucifix with the body of Jesus.
If you are Baptist the cross would be empty signifying the resurrection.
Legalistic symbolism is not uniquely COC.

[lvmaus]

One Saturday night an ol' church deacon whose pickup broke down as he was passing the Kitty Kat bar had to leave his vehicle parked at the bar overnight; during the night ol' sister Agnes, the church gossip, happened by and noticed brother Jone's pickup parked right in front of the bar. By Sunday morning the salacious details of this newsworthy event was known to all ... their deacon was a drunken womanizing beast.

A few nights later brother Jones drove to the gossips house and parked his pickup in front of her house the entire night.

[illuminator]

That story's been told about as much as the tale of the bloody hook found on the door handle of a car -- and about as scary.

[cotjockey]

I have told this story before, but I am in a mood today, so I am going to repeat it. The nephew of one of our members had cancer. Friends of his family were doing a fundraiser to help cover medical and travel expenses. We were encouraged not to go to the fundraiser because it was in the Methodist Church. We didn't want to be seen going in or coming out of the Methodist Church...people might think we were worshiping there! We were also encouraged not to donate to the family because they were getting treatment at a Catholic hospital in Denver. It did not matter that there was no other hospital in the area that could offer the treatment that he needed.

[lvmaus]

That story's been told about as much as the tale of the bloody hook found on the door handle of a car -- and about as scary.

Very scary.

Couldn't remember, or find, the exact quote, so I had to improvise.