C of C People Can Be Mean

[HighLiter871]

The thing of it is, long-term triumphalism will make you mean. And then, mean attracts mean, know what I'm sayin'?

[musicman]

There are mean people and gossips in all religions but with that being said, I think a lot of what we have experienced is due to the fact that most CofC'ers live in a sheltered/closed society - the congregation is their social life.

Many years ago, I hired of fellow member of "the" Church. One Friday I asked her what she and her husband were doing for the weekend. She replied "not much". I replied, why don't you hang out with your neighbors and cook or go to the movies with them. She replied with a stern voice "Because they are not members of THE Church."

This reminds me of an incident my mother once shared with me. She was the social chair of her Home Demonstration Club. The club had a fund which was used to send flowers to sick members or those who experienced a death in the family.

When my mother held this office, she always ordered the flowers from a florist in our neighborhood; one with whom she'd done business for many years. One time another club member(C o C like my mother) chided my mother for using this florist. She told my mother that she should order the flowers from another florist..not as close to home..because he ws "in THE CHURCH."

I just wonder if that lady asked everyone with whom she ever did business if they were "in THE CHURCH."

[musicman]

I think sometimes the meanness comes from C o C attitude of being "THE CHURCH." It's an attitude of arrogance and sefl righteousness as much as anything else.

Anyone outside "THE CHURCH" is not a Christian..is doing "wrong," etc.

A C o C member who leaves "THE CHURCH' will likely experience these attitudes. I know that from firsthand experience. When I left, people who had once been nice were rude, nasty, etc.

They probably thought they were doing their duty to bring me back to "THE CHURCH" but their tactics failed. I got out over 40 years ago and have stayed out.

[Scott]

I think sometimes the meanness comes from C o C attitude of being "THE CHURCH." It's an attitude of arrogance and sefl righteousness as much as anything else.

Anyone outside "THE CHURCH" is not a Christian..is doing "wrong," etc.

A C o C member who leaves "THE CHURCH' will likely experience these attitudes. I know that from firsthand experience. When I left, people who had once been nice were rude, nasty, etc.

They probably thought they were doing their duty to bring me back to "THE CHURCH" but their tactics failed. I got out over 40 years ago and have stayed out.

They remind me of the way "The Church" acted toward Jesus during his days on earth.

[B.H.]

Their blowing some RESTORATION bowel MOVEMENT out on you.

[Lev]

We had a Brother that was obese. They kicked him out of the Church because he wasn't trying hard enough losing weight.
I thought we were here to forgive others so that we can be forgiven. At that time I was new and young. Now that I look back on this I should have realized then and there that there was a problem with this Church.

Wow, this actually happened. I heard this situation described several times at the COC when the idea of disfellowshipping an alcoholic member came up. Those who were defending him would usually ask rhetorically, well could we disfellowship an obese member too? I guess we now know the answer.

Lev

[Lev]

To the really bossy mean one, everything is a doctrinal issue to her. She gets pissy if she doesn't like what you eat, where you shop and so on. And she attends a "liberal" C of C.

I think this actually grows out of the "we're the only Christians" theology. If the COC is the only true church, and you're in the COC, then you must be right about all kinds of things, not just the theological ones.

Lev

[OneStrike_ur_out]

Being single in the cOC is a sin of the highest order. And what is even worse than that? Oh, I can tell you form firsthand experience, if you are single and not dating anyone, Lord help you!! Holy shit, they would just as soon escort you out the front door for not having a girlfriend/boyfriend! In a roundabout way, they encourage premarital sex. I had more than one ask me "well, if nothing else, don't you want a gal pal just to, uh, ya know, hang out with, catch my drift?". Yeah, if they didn't mean "f*ck buddy" by that comment, then I'm the surgeon general! They ridiculed the piss out of me for not dating, and the thing of it is, they didn't know the whole story. I just lead them to believe that I had a difficult time finding anyone due to my age (pushing 40 at the time), but the REAL story was (and still is), I have never even so much as been on a date before! I am now in my early 40's and that still holds true. It's not something I am proud of, and I have no clue how the hell to change it. It used to really piss me off how they would try and give me "pep talks". Here I was 38-39 years old, and they would have the audacity to tell me "well, see, you have to talk to girls and let them know that you are interested, and then see if maybe they would like to go with you to a motion picture or get a Coke, or take a walk in the park, or something, but if you do nothing, then you will get nothing, capiche?" I got angry and replied "look, now, you aren't tell me anything I don't already know. I am NOT some 15 or 16 year old child that goes to school every day and is around girls my age every day and am just too nervous to talk to them. I am a GROWN MAN, PUSHING the AGE of FORTY. At my age , there just simply are NOT very many single females left. Maybe I will meet that special someone one day, and maybe I won't. But, you must realize something. Life as single older person and life as a child in school are too entirely different things, capiche?" That person then went and told on me, and said that my reply was "way out of line" or some such.

[zeek]

.

[B.H.]

I'm almost forty and never married either. Nobody questions me or bothers me because 1. They think I'm gay and 2. they think I'm crazy. I'm not gay but whether crazy or not is in the eye of the beholder.