The hunt for a church home

[ena]

While I doubt that "My Story: Why I Left the C of C" would be edifying--or even interesting--to you, Findingmyway, or any others, I do hope that someone on this forum can find a bit of comfort in this observation: those feelings of guilt (I'm turning my back on the very people who made me what I am) and shame (Why didn't I leave long ago?) and fear (What if they're right and I really am twice the child of hell . . . ?) do pass.

I found that it helped to be conscious and intentional for several years about ridding one's life of all superstition. And, sadly, it may require deaths in a generation or two older than you. But one day you'll drive by the--let's say--three CoC buildings within a few blocks of each other in some little town and feel only faint amusement.

The brain washing technique is fear based. It takes alot of courage to face the truth. There are many problems with the CoC mindset. First is that you cannot trust any other Church. This keeps you trapped in the CoC. It is self serving. The reasons given is they don't baptize right and they use instrumental music. There are many other churches that immerse. There is no where in the Bible where instruments are condemned. So they come up with a straw-man argument and beat it into the ground. I was so disturbed I could not see the facts as I got away and could look at the facts rationally. It is tough to see the facts while immersed in that toxic environment. I have heard many times on this board people saying that they could not trust any other church to escape when escaping is often necessary to get your head right

Your comment about deaths is true. Most of the adults I knew in the CoC 50 years ago are dead. I am 70 and born into the CoC. My parents converted before I was born. Why I do not know. Most of the children I knew no longer attend this church. Things move on. Looking at their web site the Elders are different and the preacher has a education. I hope they are better but I am not going back too find out specifics.

[ena]

Yes - eventually, those feelings pass.

We see FAR TOO MANY people who leave a coc, but bring too much of the coc mindset right along with them. Part of that mindset is the urgent idea that one MUST ATTEND SERVICES EVERY WEEK WITHOUT FAIL, and they end up jumping from the frying pan of the coc into the fire of some other too similar church, because it has those familiar features we were all trained to believe were necessary.

Us old folks on this forum invariably recommend that people TAKE A DEEP BREATH and TAKE A BREAK FROM CHURCH altogether (do something at home if you need to), and take some time to decompress from coc-church. No, you haven't 'left God' and no, you don't 'have to' be in a church building every single Sunday and Wednesday - that's coc OCD talking.

Take a break from 'church'. Learn more about yourself, your actual beliefs (versus what the coc told you to believe) and most of all, get educated about what normal Christianity traditionally taught and still teaches - learn more about it. Be able to compare what's normal and what's historical and what the coc says about both (the coc is neither normal NOR historical). Learn more, even, about the coc denomination itself and where it came from and why.

and THEN decide where you need to 'go', if you need to go anywhere.

I liked your post. I've nothing to add.