Childless, Mothers/Fathers Day and Church of Christ

[Shane R]

My experience of Mother's Day was that it was the time when all of the grandmotherly sorts who had kids who had fallen away would shame and brow-beat them into coming to church. It was always a very uncomfortable service knowing you had 4-6 people in there who really did not want to be there but wouldn't tell Mom/Grandma know on that particular day.

Then, I married. My wife had two pregnancies and was never able to carry to term. She was shown no support or compassion by the CoC folk. Everyone except the preacher chose not to acknowledge what had happened. It was only when we began attending an LCMS church that she was exposed to any form of empathy.

[B.H.]

Looking back I can see the people in the coc not showing much empathy over anything.

[Ivy]

Looking back I can see the people in the coc not showing much empathy over anything.

This is sad.

I wonder if the lack of empathy was about denial. If everyone started fully experiencing their emotions, the place might empty out. Remember, we were not supposed to give any credence to a feeling...only to what we could figure out through our intellect.

[Ivy]

My experience of Mother's Day was that it was the time when all of the grandmotherly sorts who had kids who had fallen away would shame and brow-beat them into coming to church. It was always a very uncomfortable service knowing you had 4-6 people in there who really did not want to be there but wouldn't tell Mom/Grandma know on that particular day.

Then, I married. My wife had two pregnancies and was never able to carry to term. She was shown no support or compassion by the CoC folk. Everyone except the preacher chose not to acknowledge what had happened. It was only when we began attending an LCMS church that she was exposed to any form of empathy.

I am sorry your wife experienced this lack of empathy, Shane, and glad you and she have found a supportive church. I had to look up LCMS...

Yes, I do remember the pressure to attend church with the elderly moms at cofc. It was sort of a penance for the wayward kids. Said attendance, lunch, and corsages still didn't make the moms happy, and they made sure to let us know that.

[zeek]

Looking back I can see the people in the coc not showing much empathy over anything.

This is rooted in the unspoken belief that if bad things happen to you, you deserve it because you are obviously not living right. Kind of like the mindset Job's friends had.

[ena]

Looking back I can see the people in the coc not showing much empathy over anything.

This is rooted in the unspoken belief that if bad things happen to you, you deserve it because you are obviously not living right. Kind of like the mindset Job's friends had.

Empathy is seen among Christians but not in the CoC, That is because the CoC is not Christian. Jesus talks about empathy but in different words. In Greek which the New Testament is written in it is expressed as love in English but really means empathy. They have many different words for love in English. Erros is erotic love or sexual love. We even have Greek roots in English. Agape is the love of friends. The e is long. Philos is brotherly love. One of the problems is that in English you may not even get the full meaning. While it is specific in Greek. I rarely heard a preacher who even knew anything about Greek. In Baptist churches you can run into seminarians who have 5 years of Greek and Hebrew under their belt. They continue with reference books that give details that you don't get from just English. You can learn much by reading the Bible but you need to read the whole book sometimes to get the meaning. Verse by verse is a dangerous weapon. The CoC has weaponized the Bible. That is why they are not respected by other churches. I do not even believe they are Christian and headed for the Lake of fire. Why? I like Matthew because the author does make some mistakes but comes through at multiple levels when he quotes Jesus. Matthew 7 kjv

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Read the whole chapter. Jesus is not joking. He will separate the sheep from the goats. The goats are tossed. Yes, it may scare the Hell out of you if it is used outside of a saved perspective. That is what commonly happens in the CoC. It is handled differently in the CoC condemns. What if you are condemning true Christians. Don't you think that you might be condemned? Don't you think that God see this. I was dealing with Greek and Hebrew using transliteration as a Teen. My dad had the tools and taught me how to use them. Yes, those people will object before they are tossed into the lake of fire. Why are they tossed. Because they did all this stuff but did not have empathy. They saw it as how great they were. All men's righteousness is as filthy rags. It means menstrual rags in Hebrew. To a Jew in the first century this was ritually unpure. That is double dirty.

[FinallyFree]

I didn’t find the CofC to lack empathy, with the exception of anything related to a family member being gay or transgendered or something like that. Once again, this was probably the NICoC people.

[ena]

I didn’t find the CofC to lack empathy, with the exception of anything related to a family member being gay or transgendered or something like that. Once again, this was probably the NICoC people.

Mine lacked empathy in many ways. I don't know yours. I don't expect to see any CoC doing much. My old church is struggling to regain the strength it had in the 1960's. As most of the Adults have died and the Eldership has changed I cannot say what it has become. I simply don't care and am not going to look. They had their chance and blew it royally. I turned 12 in 1960. Most of the adults I knew would a hundred or more. I have been out 50 years. Not interested in going back ever.

[ena]

I suffered from depression for years. I now take anti-depressants and I am much happier.

I used to take them and I admit, I was happier, but I had memory loss problems. Now that I'm getting older I'm worried as I've read they can cause someone to develop dementia earlier. I just don't want them.

Actually Statins may cause dementia. Also diet. Alsheimer's is caused by too many carbs in the diet. Coconut oil helps with a ketogenic diet. I was depressed when I was in the CoC. The main reason was that I felt I was too great a sinner to be saved. Most of what I had heard was wrong. I have received help when I needed it. I had sleep Apnea so I was half awake because I never got enough sleep. I had a sleep study twice with the full rig. It had chest movement detectors and a oxymeter for the finger. They caught my breathing stopping by adding a breath detector. Today they give a cpap with a computer that adjusts air flow. It knows whether you stop breathing and adjust pressure until it stops. Much easier than in the old days. See if your medical plan will do a sleep study. You can feel depressed when you are tired. It helped me about thirty years ago.

[faithfyl]

Actually Statins may cause dementia. Also diet. Alsheimer's is caused by too many carbs in the diet. Coconut oil helps with a ketogenic diet. I was depressed when I was in the CoC. The main reason was that I felt I was too great a sinner to be saved. Most of what I had heard was wrong. I have received help when I needed it. I had sleep Apnea so I was half awake because I never got enough sleep. I had a sleep study twice with the full rig. It had chest movement detectors and a oxymeter for the finger. They caught my breathing stopping by adding a breath detector. Today they give a cpap with a computer that adjusts air flow. It knows whether you stop breathing and adjust pressure until it stops. Much easier than in the old days. See if your medical plan will do a sleep study. You can feel depressed when you are tired. It helped me about thirty years ago.

There is no medical studies that prove Alzheimer's is caused by "too many carbs." And many carbohydrates are good for you and healthy. Grains, fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, all of these are carbs but they have great health benefits.