C of C People Can Be Mean

[jryan17]

all sounds familiar....my ex-COC had a guy in "leadership" that used to read the names of people who got arrested (published in the local paper) to see if anyone was from the church or someone they knew. One guy got arrested for a suspended license (paid a ticket late and they failed to remove the suspension). They actually confronted him and mocked him

they were always talking about someone behind their back...so and so's attendance is not up to par, etc

Holding people accountable was all they talked about

[illuminator]

all sounds familiar....my ex-COC had a guy in "leadership" that used to read the names of people who got arrested (published in the local paper) to see if anyone was from the church or someone they knew. One guy got arrested for a suspended license (paid a ticket late and they failed to remove the suspension). They actually confronted him and mocked him

they were always talking about someone behind their back...so and so's attendance is not up to par, etc

Holding people accountable was all they talked about

Absolutely! And I remember a woman out of town, on vacation, came home and found out she had been disfellowshipped. Apparently someone with the same was arrested and her name ended up in the local newspaper. They made her life hell, and if I'm not mistaken, she was even fired from her job.

[Ashes]

OH YES!!! I thought it was only my ex-church! I have always been an easy-going person, yet they always manage to make my blood boil with their stupid prejudice and painfully simplistic ideas of which they are proud. They make fun of EVERYONE except for themselves.

One person/relative at my ex-church there is so nasty (I even remember his repugnance from when I was child), that I swear every time he greets me, I have to lock my jaw to keep from saying "Don't take this the wrong way, but I hate you." I won't say it only because that would have very unpleasant repercussions. There are a few others who are almost as bad, including my father. This is one of the reasons why I (along with many others) have left.

Does anyone else have memories of members who jokingly denigrate people from the pulpit? It's so immature and passive-aggressive!

[Struggler]

I've mentioned a C of C co-worker who has a solution and answer for everything. It is arrogant and tiresome. Despite going to a liberal C of C, she is a textbook example of the C of C attitude of meanness and hatred. Has mocked single mothers more than once, even saying they are after the husbands of other women at church. A few days ago, I was talking to another co-worker about how bad the head elder at one of my father's churches had been. She butts in and says I should have just gone to another church. I was in high school at the time and would have faced physical and other repercussions from the elder if I had even thought about that. She implied that it was a lie, as she does anytime she "never heard of something." Came very close to going postal on her. Sadly, she was hired because she has a connection. I can hope she will retire soon as she really doesn't need to work.

[warrenwhis]

My father loved to point out the erring ways of others to justify the strictness of CoC doctrine. That usually meant that folks got what they deserved. He once remarked that a guy (married to a CoC member) that had choked to death on a steak was probably just being gluttonous and gobbling down his food without chewing it properly. Now, most of us in the health care field, know that chronic gastric reflux can damage the esophageal lining and cause strictures and loss of sphincter tone leading to food becoming stuck in the esophagus. That was just one that comes to mind as being so mean.

[katisha]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

[Ivy]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

Wow Katisha.....no words.

[NeverAgain]

They have no filter, no sense of boundaries, no social consciousness, no compassion, and no concept of propriety.

Sorry that happened, but surprised...? No so much.

[Ivy]

True....no filter, no boundaries. Some feel justified in saying whatever enters their
minds, all for the ultimate good of the target audience -- i.e., getting them back
into the pew at the next appointed time.

[Tsathoggua]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

That is insane. A [derogatory term] like that really deserves to get punched out!