Men's business meetings

[OneStrike_ur_out]

During my second stint in the cOC, the church I was with did not have elders and deacons, so they did the whole men's business meeting thing. I went to a few of them before throwing my hands up and storming out. What got me was, they made it sound like it was a situation where everybody had a voice, yet questions/suggestions/comments/opinions were strongly discouraged, and the same 2-3 people ran the meetings and were the only ones allowed to speak. I stirred it up big time during the last meeting I attended. I mentioned that I was told that everyone had a voice in these meetings, but yet all it felt like was just a state of the church address. One guy got really mad and said "you are here to listen, not to give feedback!!". I told him "well, I think you just proved my point". He replied "YEP!!". I said that I did not appreciate being told to sit down and shut up and that since we were a congregation that did not have elders and deacons, then everybody really should have a voice. The room fell silent and the eyes of the (self proclaimed) top dogs glarring hard at me. That was when I got up and left and never went to another meeting again. And of course, not long thereafter, my second stint in the cOC ended. It just killed me that even in a cOC without elders/deacons, people can get absolutely intoxicated with power! Well, self appointed power, anyway.

[KLP]

Did you ever try joining up to any existing hobby club or org? IMO, it was much the same...don't upset the old timers/big dogs...and do not presume to be an equal. Of course without committed and stable leadership these orgs are chaos. So it has the good along with the bad. Yes, it is "stable" which is another word for no input or new ideas/vision/blood needed. These orgs tend to die off, but they are very stable.

[margin overa]

I joined up with a local electronics hobby group a few years ago, wanting to learn first-hand some soldering skills and circuit printing stuff. I had what I thought was a legitimate question about a particular subject, and brought up the topic, which landed like a lead balloon in the group. Deafening silence and tension right away, and angry mutterings. The big chief in the group, a retired electrical engineer who ran the group, had had a running feud over an electronics debate with previous people in the mix, and it ended up splitting the original folks into 2 bickering parties. I said to another guy after the meeting, "I didn't mean to set people on edge by asking questions", and he told me the engineer had written a series of trade articles about that very subject I had brought up, had been in acrimonious debates over it, and it was verboten there. "Sort of like church arguments?" I said with a smile, and he replied in all seriousness, "Yeah, with all the bad blood and wounded pride too! Nothing ever seems to get resolved now!"

[Lev]

Any word on why the meetings are exclusively for men, not women too?

Lev

[Ivy]

Any word on why the meetings are exclusively for men, not women too?

Lev

Because you have to have a p***s to qualify?

[Struggler]

I attended only one congregation that had men's business meetings. The church had elders and deacons, but wanted the rest of us to have input. I respected and still respect them for that. Most of the meetings went well, although they could be kinda boring for a college student (me). I went because I felt it was my duty; we must do all "for the church."

One meeting included a request from a lady in the congregation who wanted to borrow money to pay bills. This good lady had assumed care of her grandchildren, fallen on a hard time and didn't make a lot of money.The elder who reported this request added that the woman's daughter had many problems, including two bad choices in the husband department. He pointed out that the church doesn't lend money. However, he suggested we simply give her money, adding he knew she would "pay it back" in the collection plate over time if and when she could, not that it mattered. I like how it was handled. Many churches I knew of would never had done that.

A year later, the class I taught delivered food boxes at Christmas and someone suggested this lady. She was surprised and so moved when we arrived. The elder's assessment of her daughter was spot on and yes, the help provided was needed and appreciated.

The other meeting that stands out was replacing the water fountain in the lobby. Three of the older men got into a rather lengthy discussion of the history of water fountains in this building and the previous one. Someone finally noted that the man who installed the previous fountains was long dead, so another person would have to be hired.

If I had it to do over again, I would not have attended those meetings. Come to think of it, I would not have attended on Sunday nights, and preferably not at all.

[KLP]

Any word on why the meetings are exclusively for men, not women too?

Lev

Because you have to have a p***s to qualify?

And see they never understood that...some of them always thought it meant they had to complete to be the biggest P****...but really to qualify you just have to have one, not be one.

[Lev]

And see they never understood that...some of them always thought it meant they had to complete to be the biggest P****...but really to qualify you just have to have one, not be one.

Ha! I only ask because the one COC I attended without elders, after I'd become an adult (i.e. been baptized, duh), the business meetings were open to all members, not just those with penises. I understand many COCs only allow men at the meetings. Not really sure why.

Lev

[margin overa]

I've never attended a CofC where all members could attend a business meeting, let alone female members. Most of the CofCs I've known are usually hush-hush about business meetings, unless it was a congregation that wanted to build or add on to a building....then they're quite specific about what dollars they'll need to accomplish stepping out in faith - you know, stepping out in faith...to build a building.

[margin overa]

Ha! I only ask because the one COC I attended without elders, after I'd become an adult (i.e. been baptized, duh)....

Ah, the old "you're a baptised male now, so at the age of 11 or 12, you're a man, and must be yanked from the kids' classes being taught by women" routine?