CoC and Introversion

[ena]

I was crippled by innumerable ideas brought up by the CoC for which their is no authority. I had to go to extremes to get rid of this. Better to live life as an Atheist and go to Hell rather than live there on earth. That is the way I feel. .

Thanks guys and gals. I've always wondered what was the source of a deep seated anger that I have had to deal with. It is frustration of trying to obtain the unobtainable as presented by the CoC. You can't reach perfection on your own. You can't be saved by your own merits. I did not realize that sat at the root of an explosive anger. I mention it here because others may be dealing with the same thing. The problem with anger is that it leaks out in ways that are not intended. Talk about a double bind. As it pertains to introversion: Would you want to subject your friends to something that pisses you off. WoW!!!!! Would you gift a friend with a bomb?

[Phil]

I think it's important to understand your personality type. It's a fact that there are more extroverts than introverts. Extroverts tend to think that they are the standard for everyone to be compared. There is nothing wrong with being extroverted, just as there is nothing wrong with being introverted. They both have their pluses and minuses. However, we must not ever allow ourselves to be condescended by those who think that extroversion is virtue and introversion is not. Extroverts suffer just as much as introverts. Their suffering stems from not be able to be quiet and alone. They get their stimulation from exterior forces and are at the mercy of those around them to keep them reinforced. They live in fear of being alone and quiet, just as the introvert has a fear of crowds and public situations.

An extrovert is one who stimulated by crowds of people. When they leave a party they are pumped up and looking for the next party.

An introvert is someone who is depleted of their energy when in crowds. When they leave a party they want to go home and rest.

Pay attention to those around you stay curious about them. They will reveal themselves to you by your objective observation. Don't be afraid of extreme extroverts. They suffer more than you know. They put on a facade that is easy to see through once you get to know yourself.

Self-study is the most valuable task you will ever undertake. Lots of good books out there.

[agricola]

I'd just like to note that you can't REALLY tell whether a person is or isn't an extrovert or introvert by how they act in public/in groups. Many an introvert truly likes people, interacts readily and enjoys a party - BUT - at the end of the evening, the extrovert is typically 'up' and ready for more (energized by the interaction) while the equally ebullient and active partygoer introvert is ready for a little alone time and quiet.

'Shy' doesn't mean 'introvert' any more than 'outgoing' inevitably means extrovert. It's a lot more than that. Introverts can be quite contentedly at the party, and be ACCUSED of being shy, when actually all they are is relatively QUIET. Plenty of introverts simply have learned to be 'on' when it is socially appropriate to be 'on'. That's all.

I was paralyzingly shy from childhood to adulthood (nearly non verbal in a group setting). I am also an 'introvert', but I am no longer particularly shy - most people who know me would never describe me as 'shy'! But I was then, and I am now, officially an 'introvert'. I lunch alone. I stay up after everyone else is abed - because I NEED that down time.

[KLP]

For me it wasn't the extroverts or introverts that drove me crazy. It was the bi-polar, psycho, paranoid, prima donna, drama queen, self-absorbed, and self-important clergy or praychar-man or evangelist or whatever name you want to use. They are petty performers who only "turn on" when they are on stage but then otherwise have zilch interaction as a peer, retract to their "study", or otherwise have no connection to anyone. But man if you do not tell them they are great and appear to be so dependent upon them then they pout, get angry, and eventually have to attack and destroy these "threats".

[agricola]

I guess we were lucky. Brother Paul (the preacher for something like thirty years) was just about the nicest person possible, and his wife was equally nice, and his two boys were good guys who grew up to be real good men...

Most of the elders were okay, too (barring at least one glaring exception) and the deacons did the best they could too. There was no more friction among them than would be natural in any organization.

But it was still a coc, and it still taught exclusivity, and rigidity, and eternal damnation of the lost, and the necessity of doing absolutely positively everything right, because you could never really be SURE....

ick.

[ena]

I guess we were lucky. Brother Paul (the preacher for something like thirty years) was just about the nicest person possible, and his wife was equally nice, and his two boys were good guys who grew up to be real good men...

I don't think extroversion or introversion is particularly important. That is because there are many types of people. God is not limited by one personality type or another. It is wrong to insist on only one type of person. Perhaps in manufacturing you can insist on one type. People like DNA vary. We all have our special sin problems. The CoC readily accepts gossips as if it no sin at all. But present with a sexual sin and the gossips will make mince meat of them. There is something wrong with this picture. I heard one pastor talk about divorce saying well it is not the unpardonable sin. I heard another speak to fact that there is no level of sin hierarchy in the church of Christ. I believe this was a priest. I am not personally concerned with that but I think the point is valid. There is no sin du jour. We're in a basket going to heaven while everyone else is going to hell? How do you know? Are you God? Do you presume to speak for God? Are you happy that others are going to Hell? Is that love? See the point.

I was introverted with my friends about religion. I always sensed something wrong but could not easily change my circumstance. Then for years after I had doctrinal details frustrate me. It took a long time to lose the baggage. I am probably not through yet after 45 years. Grace and love is a good place to start. "Hold on it's goin' to be a bumpy ride."

[musicman]

I guess we were lucky. Brother Paul (the preacher for something like thirty years) was just about the nicest person possible, and his wife was equally nice, and his two boys were good guys who grew up to be real good men...

Most of the elders were okay, too (barring at least one glaring exception) and the deacons did the best they could too. There was no more friction among them than would be natural in any organization.

But it was still a coc, and it still taught exclusivity, and rigidity, and eternal damnation of the lost, and the necessity of doing absolutely positively everything right, because you could never really be SURE....

ick.

The last paragraph is so TRUE! One could never be assured of salvation while in C o C. God was the "eye in the sky" who knew EVERY wrong "thought, word, or deed,"and recorded them in His book to use against you on judgement day.

[Struggler]

At my last C of C, there were college types pushing a class study on a book called "The Power of Introverts." They were trying to make everyone else feel inferior to them. I've no time for such foolishness. People are individuals first. Some are more outgoing, others are not. That's OK. I'm more interested in the content of their character.

[lvmaus]

I guess we were lucky. Brother Paul (the preacher for something like thirty years) was just about the nicest person possible, and his wife was equally nice, and his two boys were good guys who grew up to be real good men...

Most of the elders were okay, too (barring at least one glaring exception) and the deacons did the best they could too. There was no more friction among them than would be natural in any organization.

But it was still a coc, and it still taught exclusivity, and rigidity, and eternal damnation of the lost, and the necessity of doing absolutely positively everything right, because you could never really be SURE....

ick.

The last paragraph is so TRUE! One could never be assured of salvation while in C o C. God was the "eye in the sky" who knew EVERY wrong "thought, word, or deed,"and recorded them in His book to use against you on judgement day.

CoC'sters have a tough time understanding the principle of GRACE.

[catlady]

I'd just like to note that you can't REALLY tell whether a person is or isn't an extrovert or introvert by how they act in public/in groups. Many an introvert truly likes people, interacts readily and enjoys a party - BUT - at the end of the evening, the extrovert is typically 'up' and ready for more (energized by the interaction) while the equally ebullient and active partygoer introvert is ready for a little alone time and quiet.

'Shy' doesn't mean 'introvert' any more than 'outgoing' inevitably means extrovert. It's a lot more than that. Introverts can be quite contentedly at the party, and be ACCUSED of being shy, when actually all they are is relatively QUIET. Plenty of introverts simply have learned to be 'on' when it is socially appropriate to be 'on'. That's all.

I was paralyzingly shy from childhood to adulthood (nearly non verbal in a group setting). I am also an 'introvert', but I am no longer particularly shy - most people who know me would never describe me as 'shy'! But I was then, and I am now, officially an 'introvert'. I lunch alone. I stay up after everyone else is abed - because I NEED that down time.

This is an important distinction to make. I'm the same as you -- I was painfully shy as a child and teenager, but not so much anymore. And strangely, even as a shy youngster, I never had a problem with public speaking like so many people (even extroverts) do. For whatever reason I could flip off my "shy" switch in that type of situation. I was even in drama in high school.

I'm still very quiet but that's quite different from being shy. I talk when needed or when I feel I have something to contribute that would add to the discussion, otherwise I don't like to run my mouth too much. I tend to be a minimalist in most areas of my life, and that includes my speech. If it's not necessary, I don't say it.