What was your CoC like?

[ena]

One of the ministers also happen to be one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

Passive aggression is often hard to recognize. A mediocre therapist will not pick up on it. It is a way to deal with authority with out confronting directly. As a tool it can keep the peace while getting even in a way. Slow service can be passive aggressive. You probably have been a victim. You realize the assault but can not directly prove it. Probably the best example is with black slaves as they were masters of this tactic in many ways. Think what the Brer Rabbit stories are often really about. This is not criticism but an expression of the tactic. The subject is a sickly cow. "Master Bossy is behaving badly and she will probably die. Can I use her for food as she will probably die anyway." "Sure" So the slaves have large barbecue with the meat. Unknown to master Bossy had it brains addled with the broadside of an ax. You can see that there is some dishonesty involved but you survive and are rewarded without the boss even knowing. This tactic can come back to haunt you. Also an aware person can make in turn it in on itself. Master could turn Bossy out to auction for meat. Slaves don't have much of a choice. Let's have steak instead of grits. I am not recommending this but it is more common than you might think.

[Moogy]

Full Anti. No orphans homes, no food pantry for the poor, no kitchen, no clapping during songs, no singing during the Lord's Supper, no women speaking (except during Bible class), no church van, no youth group, and of course no musical instruments. Florida College was the only reasonable choice; it was referred to simply as "the college." Regular sermons on "Why I Left the ___ Church" (insert "Baptist," "Catholic," "Mormon," etc.) as a way to denounce the denominations. Debates on whether we could really call non-anti COCers "brethren."

Lev

This pretty much describes the churches I attended. I guess I was part of the "in" group, even though I didn't notice or realize it. At school I was always the outsider, so I knew how that felt. I never heard of Florida College until I met some FC refugees at UT Austin (went to church with those guys.)

[KLP]

Full Anti. No orphans homes, no food pantry for the poor, no kitchen, no clapping during songs, no singing during the Lord's Supper, no women speaking (except during Bible class), no church van, no youth group, and of course no musical instruments. Florida College was the only reasonable choice; it was referred to simply as "the college." Regular sermons on "Why I Left the ___ Church" (insert "Baptist," "Catholic," "Mormon," etc.) as a way to denounce the denominations. Debates on whether we could really call non-anti COCers "brethren."

Lev

This pretty much describes the churches I attended. I guess I was part of the "in" group, even though I didn't notice or realize it. At school I was always the outsider, so I knew how that felt. I never heard of Florida College until I met some FC refugees at UT Austin (went to church with those guys.)

Ditto except we were also Anti FC, just for good measure. Them with all their lectureships and summer camp fun...tsk, tsk Oh. man and them RJ Stevens singings were just entertainment and making money on selling music tapes/CDs as entertainment.

[Lev]

Ditto except we were also Anti FC, just for good measure. Them with all their lectureships and summer camp fun...tsk, tsk Oh. man and them RJ Stevens singings were just entertainment and making money on selling music tapes/CDs as entertainment.

Wow, I didn't know there was a group more anti than anti. Impressive!

[illuminator]

I was going to start a new thread, but I'll edit and post here.

A friend of mine is on the verge of leaving the coc. He’s been asking me a lot of questions and my opinions. The straw that broke his camel’s back came the other night when he missed the Wednesday night class due to several inches of snow, frozen highways, below zero temperatures, etc. The preacher, however, lives a couple blocks from church and could easily walk, took this opportunity to chastise those who failed to make the service. I was like, you’re finally seeing him for what he is: a spoiled, ,irresponsible, immature child. And, of course, the spineless elders are backing him up.

What was leadership like where you left? This preacher’s predecessor took the cake though. He was an arrogant, know-it-all son of a [derogatory term]. Dashingly good looking with an absolutely sexy voice, he preached everything the coc is against but because he was a crowd pleaser and crowds meant more money, those same spineless elders did nothing.

[GMan]

The first one I went to was dying when we left was fairly conservative, but mainstream. The new one we went to was pretty mainstream and fluctuated between centrist to progressive depending on the preacher.

[bnot]

The one I spent the most time in was had a kitchen, bible class. Supported an orphan home and a missionary work from a separate voluntary collection, separate and apart from the 1st separate and apart collection. They were bible gangsters, disfellowship letters, fire and brimstone sermons, they tracked attendance with member cards that you filled out every week (I skipped those cards), hammering on denominations through sermons, etc. Very arrogant, typical coc.

[Struggler]

My father preached for several and most were pretty much mainstream, although there were some extreme elements in a few of them.

The one he preached at during my high school years was conservative mainstream, although on the very conservative end of that. No bus and any "youth" outings had to be paid for by the kids. If the kids were short, well, their Sunday school teacher or usually my parents had to pick up the tab and were not reimbursed because such things are not "authorized" by Scripture. Head elder was a mean SOB who carried a gun, even to church, in violation of state law, and often talked about using it on people at church. Evil man.

One of the two I attended in college was populated by a lot of older people, who wanted more of the young men to "take public part," as they said. Very rural mentality among many, who were not pleased I was in school and would ask me every single week, "Yew warkin' reg'lar?" We had elders who lived in the real world and got it, but the old-line families believed in country religion. I left when I got a chance.

Next church was conservative mainstream, but with an element who thought it was liberal because they wouldn't ally themselves with Ira Rice and his crowd.

[Lev]

Head elder was a mean SOB who carried a gun, even to church, in violation of state law, and often talked about using it on people at church. Evil man.

Whoa, crazy. What good can possibly come of a gun at church?

1 Timothy 3:2-3
Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome...

Lev

[GMan]

Head elder was a mean SOB who carried a gun, even to church, in violation of state law, and often talked about using it on people at church. Evil man.

Whoa, crazy. What good can possibly come of a gun at church?

1 Timothy 3:2-3
Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome...

Lev

I have heard of fear and trembling, but this is so wrong.