C of C People Can Be Mean

[musicman]

C o C people can in deed be mean. I learned that when I left.

There were so many nasty..and a few threatening..phone calls that I had to get an unpublished number to stop the calls.

The calls weren't "are you coming back?" or "do you want us to take you off the roll?". They were "..you better come back if you know what's good for you."

I think C o C people act this way due to belief that their church is "the only right one."

[Free Spirit]

They have no filter, no sense of boundaries, no social consciousness, no compassion, and no concept of propriety.

Can we embroider that on a sampler? That's the COC in a nutshell.

[Miss40+]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

I have one word; Lawsuit. Sue for defamation of character, sue for...... is it libel?

[B.H.]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

I have one word; Lawsuit. Sue for defamation of character, sue for...... is it libel?

I think you should look into it katisha. At least talk to a lawyer.

[OneStrike_ur_out]

During my second stint in the cOC, someone asked me "ok, I have to know, what is the deal with cOC people condemning the Baptists, Methodists, Catholics, etc. to hell?". I answered the question with a question. I said "what is the deal with cOC people condeming it's own members to hell?". The look on the dude's face was priceless.

[Ivy]

I just recently found out that when my ex died, the minister actually stated from the pulpit that he probably would have lived a lot longer if his ex wife and adult child had continued to live good Christian lives. The fact that we both left the CofC probably contributed to his death. I can't imagine what went through my son's mind when that was said right in front of him. No compassion whatsoever in that minister.

I have one word; Lawsuit. Sue for defamation of character, sue for...... is it libel?

I think you should look into it katisha. At least talk to a lawyer.

Something to think about, Katisha. People really need to call them out on their outrageous public slanderings of
former members. Unbelievable.

[kneedeep]

Being single in the cOC is a sin of the highest order. And what is even worse than that? Oh, I can tell you form firsthand experience, if you are single and not dating anyone, Lord help you!! Holy shit, they would just as soon escort you out the front door for not having a girlfriend/boyfriend! . I had more than one ask me "well, if nothing else, don't you want a gal pal just to, uh, ya know, hang out with, catch my drift?". Yeah, if they didn't mean "f*ck buddy" by that comment, then I'm the surgeon general! They ridiculed the piss out of me for not dating, and the thing of it is, they didn't know the whole story. I just lead them to believe that I had a difficult time finding anyone due to my age (pushing 40 at the time), but the REAL story was (and still is), I have never even so much as been on a date before! I am now in my early 40's and that still holds true. It's not something I am proud of, and I have no clue how the hell to change it. It used to really piss me off how they would try and give me "pep talks". Here I was 38-39 years old, and they would have the audacity to tell me "well, see, you have to talk to girls and let them know that you are interested, and then see if maybe they would like to go with you to a motion picture or get a Coke, or take a walk in the park, or something, but if you do nothing, then you will get nothing, capiche?" I got angry and replied "look, now, you aren't tell me anything I don't already know. I am NOT some 15 or 16 year old child that goes to school every day and is around girls my age every day and am just too nervous to talk to them. I am a GROWN MAN, PUSHING the AGE of FORTY. At my age , there just simply are NOT very many single females left. Maybe I will meet that special someone one day, and maybe I won't. But, you must realize something. Life as single older person and life as a child in school are too entirely different things, capiche?" That person then went and told on me, and said that my reply was "way out of line" or some such.

THIS.
Its an old post but I can certainly relate to your frustrations. Having limited dating experiences amounted to never being in relationship. Seriously, I’ve never had a boyfriend. At 31 I’m starting to give up on the idea of having spouse. Also I didn’t like the fact that I was expected to chase the men there. Um excuse me, but isn’t it supposed to be other way around? I’m also open to dating different races, but anytime a black guy would come to church they would try to push me on to them, regardless of whether or not we were attracted to each. I don’t blame my lack of dating experience on the coC persay. I think some of my social issues have kept me from getting into a relationship. There are members at my congregation now who have been in an out of relationships like clockwork. People don’t understand that romance is very difficult to obtain for some. Not everyone can get a new boyfriend or girlfriend when they feel like it. Some of us just don’t have “game”. Also if you are single then that means you should serve more in the church. I can’t argue against that idea as single people do have more free time. However, I think service should come from the heart, not from expectations of others

In a roundabout way, they encourage premarital sex

I was having lunch with older member earlier this year and she hinted that I can have sex. It was in a roundabout way. She said “I’m not telling you to have sex, but if you slip up its okay”. Ummm….what?? She then went on to say that I need to date more. She’s right I do need to date more, but I thought we were supposed obtain from pre-marital sex??? So I now I’m dealing with a complex of giving up celibacy (yes I’m not a virgin) vs abstaining and possibly never having sex if I don’t get married...

[B.H.]

I'm 41 and haven't been on a date in 20 years. I'm a nice guy in real life and have a good reputation as someone who is honest, kindhearted, and can be trusted if given a trust. But I am thought of as highly eccentric and kinda strange. Which in all honesty is probably true.

[faithfyl]

Also I didn’t like the fact that I was expected to chase the men there. Um excuse me, but isn’t it supposed to be other way around? ..

I think they did expect women to be all over the men, chasing them. Sometimes if I even talked to another single male, it was assumed I was after him. I once briefly spoke to a young man, I had no interest in him beyond basic chit chat, and some woman comes up and says loudly to me "he's married". I was embarrassed at the time, but now I just feel embarrassed for her that she would say something like this.

[kneedeep]

I'm 41 and haven't been on a date in 20 years. I'm a nice guy in real life and have a good reputation as someone who is honest, kindhearted, and can be trusted if given a trust. But I am thought of as highly eccentric and kinda strange. Which in all honesty is probably true.

Everyone is strange in their own way . It must be nice not having coc members breath down your neck about your relationship status.