I did it!

[Shrubbery]

Sent an email to the elders last night, withdrawing my membership in a coc. Oh happy days!

Now to experience the fallout this week...

[Cootie Brown]

Congrats!

[B.H.]

Just remember there is a legal precedent they have to abide by or else. If they do not leave them alone they could be sued civily.

[FinallyFree]

Let us know what happens.

[gordie91]

Oh boy!

I hope it goes well and the fallout does not meet your expectations. Best of luck to you and your family.

[Shrubbery]

Just remember there is a legal precedent they have to abide by or else. If they do not leave them alone they could be sued civily.

Yes, I'm keeping that in mind. Though since my husband is still a member, suing could be tricky. I don't think it would come to that with this group. They aren't the hide-in-your-bushes type.

I am talking to one of the elders tomorrow (my request) to let him know why I'm leaving. I was very clear that I would not meet with the elder group as a whole. That elder contacted me right away and we set up the time to talk. He's a good guy, so I feel comfortable talking to him. Some of the others, I very much do not feel comfortable talking to. And I have stipulated that this talk is only to bring them up to speed, since my leaving is a shock. I attended services right up through yesterday.

Since I have officially withdrawn my membership as of yesterday, they Biblically shouldn't be able to church discipline me, right? Though they might anyway (I know how these churches can be). Should be interesting how all this plays out. I'll still be picking my kids up from game night and singing night and dropping off/picking up from camp next week. So people will be seeing me. And if my husband invites people over, will they come? Who knows.

I told the kids this afternoon that I wasn't going to church anymore. I didn't go into much detail besides the fact that I don't believe what they're teaching anymore, and they didn't ask. They might have more questions later though. I've told them that they'll still go to church with Daddy. My teenager needs the social aspect of going to church. His best friend is there. I also want them to be biblically literate.

I'm meeting a close friend from church to tell her in person tonight. I'm not looking forward to that. She's the one person there that I don't want to lose friendship with. I'll live if she does drop me, but I'd like to keep her as a friend. She's the mom of my son's best friend, and we both homeschool. So we talk outside of church pretty often. I want to tell her before it's announced Wednesday night (at least I assume they'll announce it then).

My stomach is in knots today. I know this first few days will be the hardest.

[Cootie Brown]

Once you notify the church in writing they can't take any action against you. I know that because one of our elders was a lawyer. A congrgation in Ark, back in the 80's, paid a former member several hundred thousand dollars because they publicly withdrew from her after she resigned her membership. They also noted publicly that she was living in sin with a man & members continued to harass her.

I'm pretty sure the entire brotherhood got the message because it was on national TV on one of those afternoon gossip shows. The Elders,the lady, and most of their congregation was on the show. I remember at the time being embarrassed that I was a member of the c of C. They came across as a pack of redneck kooks.

[FinallyFree]

I know this stuff is scary. You are tough and brave to do this on your own. Religion should not be such a trap.

[Cootie Brown]

None of my business and I know that, but based on my experience and others, I think meeting with anyone is a mistake. Maybe your close friend but don't expect that to go well either.

You are fully aware of the fundamentalists mindset and how they typically react to this sort of thing.

[Ivy]

Congratulations, Shrubbery!!

That took courage. Stand strong!! And just as a reminder....no one has the right to harass you or second guess such a very difficult, personal decision. You aren't obligated to meet with anyone to explain your decision.