Someone who fired you needs help

[B.H.]

I bring this up from time to time because it has happened again in real life. Someone I know either fired someone and now needs the person they let go to help them out or were fired and the former boss now needs their help.


What's your opinion? In this case a friend of mine ended up being family by marriage to the man who fired him. Anyway the old boss is in a quandary and sent his wife to my friend asking if they could borrow a couple of thousand dollars. My friend told them no because of the firing twenty years ago.

I've never been fired but had to fire a few people. Never would I expect anyone I fired to want to help me nor would I ask. It's insulting. And hypocritical. You got rid of them because they were no good to you or a threat to your own livelyhood but now you are asking them to subsidize you when you were not going to do it for them?

Anyway what is your opinion.

[Ivy]

It would depend upon all related circumstances and if I was feeling particularly magnanimous that day...that said, I'd be inclined to decline. Also of note, the guy sends his wife to ask for the money, insteading of doing it himself?
.

[agricola]

Those aren't the only reasons for being let go, BH. Sometimes (ideally, most of the time) it is a business necessity to reduce staff - this can be due to finances or due to the sort of work needed compared to the skills available. If you need a - oh, a welder, but you can only afford six employees, and you are fully staffed up but nobody is a welder, then - hey, you need a welder. Maybe you don't need two tire guys. Maybe you are getting out of the tire business and into the welding business and you don't need ANY tire guys after August.

No hard feelings necessary.

I am not much in favor of retaliation for 'normal' behavior, and getting fired/let go for business reasons is normal. Refusing to loan money to someone in need AFTER TWENTY YEARS - that's retaliation and it's overkill. He didn't ask for six figures and a new car, but for a fairly small loan from an acquaintance.

I mean, your friend can certainly still refuse, but for reasons other than a twenty year old grudge.

[zeek]

It would depend entirely on the circumstances of the "firing". Was it unfair or was it for legitimate cause. Was it the first resort or did they try to avoid it with other actions first? More importantly, how have they treated me over the years since? I've been let go 3 times over my working career. Never due to anything I'd done, always due to downsizing or company closure. I would do what I could to help most of those folks if asked.

[agricola]

Yes - the first five years of my working life I had - let me think - certainly more than five jobs. I was let go, downsized, position terminated, and once, I voluntarily quit. There were times when I went back to work for the same people a year or so later because we maintained cordial relations. There were a couple of times which, frankly, I SHOULD have been fired, and wasn't.

At about the point of having five full years of work experience, my employment picture smoothed out. I think my worst year was 1985. when I had - let me think - at least four different jobs, maybe five. It is a year I prefer to forget - I lost one job THE DAY AFTER I closed on my new house, which I had contracted for and had built for myself.

That was tough, but it wasn't the decision of my actual supervisor, after all. I worked for him again a year after that, and we remained good friends for decades.

[B.H.]

I would let someone who fired me rot, just to be onery.

[faithandmore]

Well, i have a friend who went somewhere to apply for a job and the woman working there was rude to her and would not help her. A couple years later that same rude woman came into the place my friend now worked, looking for a job. And she said she trashed the application. Just desserts. Sadly my friend died of suicide a few years ago.

[Ivy]

Well, i have a friend who went somewhere to apply for a job and the woman working there was rude to her and would not help her. A couple years later that same rude woman came into the place my friend now worked, looking for a job. And she said she trashed the application. Just desserts. Sadly my friend died of suicide a few years ago.

That is such a sad story, faith. I am sorry about your friend.

That story also shows that it's best to treat everyone as you want to be treated. The woman who was rude to your friend ultimately came full circle, and lost an opportunity for a job.

This is reminding me of some of the ghastly interviews I had during my working years. There was the lady who fed her parrot during our interview and didn't look at me or seem to listen to a word I was saying, the duo of therapists at a hospital who grilled me mercilessly and then said they still didn't understand what I did in my then current job (gaslighting), the humorless VA team that skewered me until I was ready to walk out the door...this makes me glad I don't have to subject myself to that abuse any more. I have other stories...maybe I should write a book....nah.

[faithandmore]

This is reminding me of some of the ghastly interviews I had during my working years. There was the lady who fed her parrot during our interview and didn't look at me or seem to listen to a word I was saying, t

I had an interview like that where the man was packing boxes the entire time, getting his office set up and would not even look at me. I wish now I had just walked out. If I'd had a stronger sense of myself back then, I would have done that.

[Ivy]

This is reminding me of some of the ghastly interviews I had during my working years. There was the lady who fed her parrot during our interview and didn't look at me or seem to listen to a word I was saying, t

I had an interview like that where the man was packing boxes the entire time, getting his office set up and would not even look at me. I wish now I had just walked out. If I'd had a stronger sense of myself back then, I would have done that.

Exactly!! That was the issue for me as well.

Another thing comes to mind as well. This was a doctor appt. The doctor had a television set in his office and watched Bill Clinton's inauguration ceremony the whole time I was there. He talked to me but didn't look at me. He shouldn't have taken appts if he wanted to watch the inauguration. I should have walked out, but did not.