Being preached into hell at cofc funeral.....

[Ivy]

Something Moogy said made me think this would be an interesting topic. I am sure we've discussed it before here, but we do have new members. Just wondering how many of us here have been preached into hell at a cofc funeral?

I have to say I'm fortunate in that my parent's cofc preacher was a true class act and did not preach us into hell; in fact,
he conducted a lovely funeral for each of them. I know that many here did not have such a positive experience.

[B.H.]

When dad died I helped mom out with some of the expenses. One thing I told her and the preachers was that is was to be about dad, not other people and where they were spiritually. If I was disappointed in any way then I wasn't going to pay them anything.

It's amazing how having money makes people listen to you. No wonder the capitalist oppressors do not want to part with it.

[JKendallDane]

This is a very touchy subject for me.

I lost my Dad when I was only 26 and will never ever forget how the "minister" took off at one point during his funeral sermon and took it upon himself to relate a very private conversation with Dad a few weeks before he died about how he had only one regret in his life: That his three sons had all left "the" church. This was said with all of us and our spouses sitting right in the front row of a packed auditorium and him literally drilling his eyes into us.

I have no doubt my Dad may have said something to that effect, but I also know he would have never authorized the "minister" to play such guilt trip games. It had NO business being a part of the funeral and was something that should have been said in private with the three of us...not a part of his typical hellfire and damnation eulogies. The very audible gasps from many of the attendees showed their instant disapproval too, and more than a few pulled us aside after the service to offer their support.

The only thing he accomplished that day was to assure that none of us would ever again be a part of "the" church.

[KLP]

I am sorta waiting to hear such a 5-step salvation message at a Graduation ceremony for Christian homeschoolers where some folks are CofC. Usually these events have the parents and child make some sort of comments.

[JKendallDane]

When my Mother finally passed away twenty-one years after Dad did, we honored her request that the same "minister" do her funeral eulogy. My oldest brother had a very short meeting with him and told him in no uncertain terms that he would speak only about her life and not dare go into one of his typical hellfire and damnation sermonettes, nor a single word about any of the family being "unsaved" for not belonging to "the" church.

He followed the dictate on the latter but did start down the "Are you sure YOU are going to heaven?" path near what should have been the end. My oldest brother raised his eyes to meet his and very loudly cleared his throat. The "minister" immediately stopped and went into a closing prayer. My other brother and I found out at the funeral meal get-together he had told the guy he would get one chance to cease and desist if he went off and that would be by him clearing his throat. Otherwise, we would shut the funeral down right then and handle the graveside service ourselves.

Not unsurprisingly, he left right after what was probably the shortest cemetery service he had ever preached...and without speaking to any of the family.

[Tsathoggua]

When my Mother finally passed away twenty-one years after Dad did, we honored her request that the same "minister" do her funeral eulogy. My oldest brother had a very short meeting with him and told him in no uncertain terms that he would speak only about her life and not dare go into one of his typical hellfire and damnation sermonettes, nor a single word about any of the family being "unsaved" for not belonging to "the" church.

He followed the dictate on the latter but did start down the "Are you sure YOU are going to heaven?" path near what should have been the end. My oldest brother raised his eyes to meet his and very loudly cleared his throat. The "minister" immediately stopped and went into a closing prayer. My other brother and I found out at the funeral meal get-together he had told the guy he would get one chance to cease and desist if he went off and that would be by him clearing his throat. Otherwise, we would shut the funeral down right then and handle the graveside service ourselves.

Not unsurprisingly, he left right after what was probably the shortest cemetery service he had ever preached...and without speaking to any of the family.

Your oldest brother is awesome!

[JKendallDane]

Your oldest brother is awesome!

Yes, he was. Unfortunately, we lost him last August to the same Alzheimer's that took Mom.

[katisha]

When my ex died two years ago, he had requested an old friend, who used to be the minister at the CofC we went to, to come back and do his funeral. I did not attend, but my son told me a year later that this supposed friend of our family got up there and said that my ex would have probably lived longer had his "ex-wife and son" been true to the CofC. We had both left it years ago. My son was heartbroken to have this said like that, and when I found out about it, it was all I could do to not call the idiot on the phone and chew him out. How dare he put that sort of onus on my son.

I have been to several funerals lately, unfortunately, but the good thing has been there was no preaching at them. Just remembrances and comfort for the family. That is how it should be.

[shlybluz]

Had it happen to me at the funeral of a woman who had been my first sunday school teacher. I'd left about the same time she had become a "shut in" because of her health. I was still visiting her and exchanging letters up until a few weeks before she died because things had gone really bad for her. She knew why I left and had told me that I had to do what was best for me, even if it was "going homeless" as she liked to call it for those who had left. At her funeral, a long time member of the congregation did the service because the preacher just happened to be away at the time. He underhandedly called me out without saying my name; and boy did it set me on fire. I never confronted him; sometimes I wish i had shown him the letters we had exchanged so that he would know he was all wrong about what she would have wanted for me.

[B.H.]

Some people just have the gall and no shame....