Wish I had known

[Truthfinder1975]

I wish I had known, when I married my husband who was raised in the church of christ, what the expectations I would be trying to live up to would do to the quality of my life. I was raised in several different churches so I did not understand at all what I was getting into. I realized pretty early on that I would never fit in. I disagreed with their idea that they were the only church that could get you to heaven. I was also very upset when they publicly disfellowed and shamed a former member. Add to that, my husbands father was an elder and his entire family attended. His Mother took it upon herself to relentlessly push me into attending gospel meetings, vbs, ect. I considered divorcing the man that I loved because his family and his church were constantly pushing me to do more, more, and more. I have stopped attending and told my mother in law to stop the tactless bossiness or get out of my house. My poor husband has been brainwashed his whole life into believing that we can not attend another church. I have secretly attended other churches for awhile now. I will no longer allow these narrow minded souls to harass me into attending. My husband is slowly coming around to the fact that i wont bow to peer pressure or threats. My relationship with God is strong and its mine. Im so relieved that I found this sight and Im not loosing my mind. Word of advice, understand before you marry a member that the requirements are ridged and enough is never enough.

[teresa]

Hi Truthfinder

Welcome to the board. Glad you finally were able to get on.

When I was in the hardline CoC, they regarded folks who were not baptized in the CoC as unsaved. I wonder if that's how your husband and/or his family feel?

[Cootie Brown]

Welcome. Unfortunately there are many stories similar to yours. The Church of Christ is a good example of what can happen when Bible literalism is taken to the extreme.

I am sorry to learn of the harm that has been done to you & your marriage. I wish I could tell you there is an easy solution for your predicament but unfortunately there isn't.

You will find likeminded folks on this site that have had bad experiences with the c of c too. That is why we are all EX - church of Christ now.

[agricola]

Welcome to the ex-board!

[Moogy]

Welcome! I was raised in the COC, and I certainly know about the pressure to do things their way! I hope you can come to an agreement with hubby to go in different directions spiritually. The mind of a lifetime COCer is hard and/or slow to change. He really will not understand, but the two of you may be able to disagree peaceably.

[Tsathoggua]

Nice to have you aboard!