The walk of shame

[roddma]

I have recently questioned whether public confession of personal 'sin' is Biblical. Does not attending church for a spell count as personal or public 'sin'?. My mother has said 'you know what to do' when she mentions me going back to church. Do we need to make all slip ups public? If you feel better confessing publicly do so, but don't push your stance. The thing is they have never questioned any of these teachings.They think what CoC says is 100% right.

Anyhow, the word 'penitentiary' for prison, comes from a Latin word meaning repentance, and the prisoners doing a penance for crimes against the church.

[roddma]

The thing with the view on 'men must see nude women' it comes from the double standard they can't control their urges It is believed they had stronger sex drives than women, like women could not have these urges and men never dress to attract women.
Some attraction is necessary for survival of the species.

[Shrubbery]

The thing with the view on 'men must see nude women' it comes from the double standard they can't control their urges It is believed they had stronger sex drives than women, like women could not have these urges and men never dress to attract women.
Some attraction is necessary for survival of the species.

Do you know why women watch men's Olympic swimming?

And usually this lack of control for their urges is used to victim-blame when it comes to rape. I can watch men's Olympic swimming and think, "Wow, those guys are hot!" or watch Criminal Minds or S.W.A.T. and drool over Shemar Moore no matter what he's wearing. But if I were standing next to a men's swimmer in a speedo or Shemar Moore in anything, I wouldn't actually be tempted to have sex with them. I have a husband. Looking at someone and thinking they look good doesn't equal wanting to have sex with them.

[Cootie Brown]

The thing with the view on 'men must see nude women' it comes from the double standard they can't control their urges It is believed they had stronger sex drives than women, like women could not have these urges and men never dress to attract women.
Some attraction is necessary for survival of the species.

Do you know why women watch men's Olympic swimming?

And usually this lack of control for their urges is used to victim-blame when it comes to rape. I can watch men's Olympic swimming and think, "Wow, those guys are hot!" or watch Criminal Minds or S.W.A.T. and drool over Shemar Moore no matter what he's wearing. But if I were standing next to a men's swimmer in a speedo or Shemar Moore in anything, I wouldn't actually be tempted to have sex with them. I have a husband. Looking at someone and thinking they look good doesn't equal wanting to have sex with them.

I think people generally would want to have sex with someone they're attracted to, but there are reasons that restrain them. Affairs happen because sometimes desire overcomes the reasons that would normally stop a person for taking that final step. And if the desire is strong enough even the fear of hell won't stop a religious person from satisfying their passion.

Sex is a powerful motivator. People have proven to be willing to sacrifice their marriages, family, their money, & their careers to have sex with someone they want more than anything in the world. Unfortunately, many of those affairs don't end well & the person is left with nothing. And sometimes they end up living happily ever after.

I'm sure we all know stories with both good & bad ending.

[Tsathoggua]

The thing with the view on 'men must see nude women' it comes from the double standard they can't control their urges It is believed they had stronger sex drives than women, like women could not have these urges and men never dress to attract women.
Some attraction is necessary for survival of the species.

Do you know why women watch men's Olympic swimming?

And usually this lack of control for their urges is used to victim-blame when it comes to rape. I can watch men's Olympic swimming and think, "Wow, those guys are hot!" or watch Criminal Minds or S.W.A.T. and drool over Shemar Moore no matter what he's wearing. But if I were standing next to a men's swimmer in a speedo or Shemar Moore in anything, I wouldn't actually be tempted to have sex with them. I have a husband. Looking at someone and thinking they look good doesn't equal wanting to have sex with them.

Good points! I always thought that the line from Jesus about lust in Matthew 5:28 -- "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" -- was unhelpful and created a lot of unnecessary grief and guilt

[Shrubbery]

Good points! I always thought that the line from Jesus about lust in Matthew 5:28 -- "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" -- was unhelpful and created a lot of unnecessary grief and guilt

And I think Jesus is meaning looking at someone with the intent to commit adultery. If you are really thinking about committing adultery, you've pretty much done it in your heart already. But looking at Shemar Moore as I watch S.W.A.T., I'm not committing adultery. I would not actually try to have an affair with him (I'm sure I'm not his type anyway ).

[Shrubbery]

I think people generally would want to have sex with someone they're attracted to, but there are reasons that restrain them. Affairs happen because sometimes desire overcomes the reasons that would normally stop a person for taking that final step. And if the desire is strong enough even the fear of hell won't stop a religious person from satisfying their passion.

I agree with this. Most of us who are committed to our spouse are not going to have an affair, even if we see a good looking person. We are committed to our spouse. Sometimes marriages are having issues, and people decide to think about someone else. Or maybe they're working closely with someone else and they start to really like that person, and things get out of hand. But it's not that person dressed in a sexy manner. It usually takes a bit more time to get into an affair like that. Like if there is a coworker, you're talking to that coworker every day, and weeks/months later, an affair begins. The affair doesn't begin because a man sees his female coworker where a miniskirt one day.

[Cootie Brown]

Sex is apparently Satan's ultimate temptation weapon. There apparently isn't anything a human will not do to have sex with someone they desire above everything and everyone else.

Anybody want to start a list of preachers, elders, deacon's and/or their wives that had affairs? I can think of three incidents right off the bat. 2 preachers and 1 preachers wife that I personally know had affairs. All but one ended in divorce.

I wont' post the name but one Preacher in particular was a recognized biblical scholar, and a pillar in the c of C. He was also a lawyer and a state appellate court judge. When it hit the papers that his secretary had filed charges against him for sexual harassment you could almost hear the jaws hitting the floor. This guy was most assuredly the last person in the world anyone would think would do this.

Love, passion, etc. apparently destroys the brain and makes it inoperable. Passion must in some way turn the human brain into jello. He's a lawyer and a Judge for crying out loud and puts all of his desires for her and what he wants to do with her down in WRITING! Plausible Deniability is no longer a defense when you put something in writing. Duh? I think that is covered extensively in Pre-law 101.

I don't know what happened because as fast as the story appeared in the papers it also disappeared. I assume he wrote her a check with a lot of zero's to make it all go away. Never heard another word about it since then either and that was 15 or more years ago. And he is still on the bench serving as a Judge as far as I know.

[Shrubbery]

I haven't known any coc preachers get into a sex scandal (but I've only been a member of two congregations and it's only been around 20 years - both congregations being fairly benign in the scandal business), but when I was a kid, my Lutheran pastor had an affair with the wife of the president of the church council. Both couples got divorced, and the pastor (who was now removed from pastoral office) and his new wife moved to another state, where he became an insurance salesman. As far as I know, they're still together. I'm FB friends with the council president's daughter. They lived 2 doors down from me, so we played together for years until she ended up moving to be with her mom in high school. Her dad had custody before that.

I've noticed that my coc congregations have preached men and women keeping doors open, having a 3rd person in the room, etc., to avoid the appearance of something happening. So like if a woman needs counseling with the preacher, he'd bring his wife along as well. Not a bad policy for preachers, I suppose. They're probably way more tempted, talking about sexual sin so often in the pulpit.

[ena]

Btw, I think the whole invitation stuff is really weird. I don't see any example in the Bible of a non-believer worshiping with the believers. They did their converting OUTSIDE of church. And 99% of the time an invitation is made, the only "non-coc" people there are the kids who haven't been baptized yet. And those kids usually get baptized during a camp or late at night after a Bible study or something like that. They're not coming forward to get baptized in front of the whole congregation most of the time. I think I've seen maybe ONE teenager get baptized? The rest have all done so after hours. And if it's available 24/7 to do it, why do we need to invite people after every sermon? And inviting sinners to come forward and confess... I don't see that in the Bible either. Do they think we have so many sins that we need this invitation every single week? The people who do come forward do so so rarely, and half the time it's either vague stuff that could have been handled by just going to an elder and asking to be included in announcements/prayers, or it's not even anything to come forward publicly about. A public sin would be spreading gossip about Bessy to half the church. Having lustful thoughts about someone that's not your spouse would be between you and God - it's not a public sin.

What other groups do this kind of invitation/altar call? I know the Baptists do, and I assume that's where the coc gets it. I can't think of anyone else, but I haven't been to all the denominations. I mostly attended your basic Catholic offshoots (Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopal) and the Catholic churches. Those groups don't do altar calls or invitations.

You get it! The constant evangelizing with the saved means one thing BABY CHRISTIANS!!!! My personal growth in the Church of Christ was stunted. My spiritual growth non existent. As such I am spiritually stunted nearly 50 years after. Other groups are not fearful about baptism, praying for sins, attendance and instrumental music. The level of gossip about others was very high in my church. The best way to be gossiped about was a public confession. Today I hear Christian's talking about sin issues that they are working on and God uses humor to straighten them when they get out of line. The CoC excels in paranoia training and mind wipe. Today I am learning and growing away from such. I stay well away. My spirit is alive and well and stretching out from the metal box it was once crammed in.