CoC Friends

[Free Spirit]

I can't say that I had any true friends in the CoC. Our relationships were very superficial, by necessity, because we were all projecting the facade of the perfect Christian rather than our true selves, for fear of being accused of sin. It was like living in a police state; you couldn't trust anyone or be completely honest about anything for fear of being ratted out to the elders and deacons.

[Struggler]

I can't say that I had any true friends in the CoC. Our relationships were very superficial, by necessity, because we were all projecting the facade of the perfect Christian rather than our true selves, for fear of being accused of sin. It was like living in a police state; you couldn't trust anyone or be completely honest about anything for fear of being ratted out to the elders and deacons.

Superficial is a good word for many of the C of C friendships I've had. When I moved away or left a congregation, I hardly, if ever, saw those people. I've got friends who live in the same city as I and we used to attend the same church. If I mention getting together with them now, it's usually followed by an invitation to attend their church. No real socializing. Being in the same church for an hour is not my idea of getting together.

Whenever I visit the city where I went to high school for a reunion or just to see friends, I am invited to attend our old church. I went once, more than 15 years ago. Saw some of the people I thought had been friends. We exchanged contact info and nobody ever replied. Told me what I needed to know.

A real friendship cannot be based simply on attending the same church once or twice a week. Gotta have some substance.